-Nate, welcome back. -Thank you.
-Thank you so much for being here, buddy.
You got a lot going on. You're in the middle
of The Raincheck Tour. -Yes.
-And your Netflix special, which I texted you, I loved,
"The Greatest Average American," was nominated
for a Grammy for Best Comedy Album.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Well...
Look, I want to say to for that, I owe a lot to this show.
You have been unbelievable to me.
I don't know if anybody -- But it's been a long time since
"Late Night with Fallon."
The Roots have been unreal to me.
Everybody that works here is unreal to me.
"Tonight Show's" been a huge part of my career,
so I do want to thank y'all for that.
I never forget it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-I appreciate that, buddy. But you're the best.
You put that work in.
I don't know how you do all this stuff.
But, dude, Best Comedy Album. Congrats.
That's giant. That's massive.
-Oh, it's enor-- Dude, it's crazy.
I mean, it was like -- Yeah, I don't even know.
-That's so exciting. -Yeah.
Well, I'm just from Old Hickory.
You know, we're not supposed to get that stuff.
Are you getting recognized more now that you're Grammy...?
-It happens -- yeah. It happens more --
It's all, like, gradual. Like, it's -- it's not crazy.
I can still go everywhere. It's not a problem.
But, like, when I get -- Like I always take pictures.
Like, I -- None of this is lost on me.
I truly appreciate it.
But I always want to say -- Sometimes when it happens,
I want people to know, like, when you leave
after we take this picture,
I then have to explain who I am to like 30 people.
[ Laughter ] So you put me in, like,
a whole thing -- Like, and I'll still do it,
but then you leave, and they're like,
"Why did you -- Why did they do that?"
They just come up and ask. Like, "Who are you?
Why did they do that?" And they're mad about it.
And I'm like -- I go, "I'm a comedian."
They're like, "I've never heard of you."
I was like, "I wasn't announc--
I wasn't walking around saying, 'I'm a comedian.'"
I was at the airport one time, and this guy overheard that,
and he asks me, he goes, "Is there any money in that?"
Like he might do it. [ Laughter ]
Like, he -- just was like, "If he could do it,
I mean, obviously I'll do it if there's money in it."
-Oh, my God. [ Both laugh ]
-I was just talking to Cate Blanchett
about New Year's resolutions.
Are you that type of person? Is 2022 new Nate?
-It's -- I mean, I hope so.
So, I have whole thing.
Do you another place I got recognized recently?
McDonald's, and that's always a tough one.
[ Laughter ]
If you're in McDonald's alone,
and then someone's like, "Hey, are you Nate?"
You're like, "Ah, yeah, I'm sorry."
You know? [ Laughter ]
'Cause you're, like, feeling kind of bad, being at --
-Why? -I was 10 minutes from my house.
That guy was on a road trip.
Like, where it's like that's all he has to do.
And he's like, "Where do you live?"
I go, "I live 10 minutes from here.
I'm here just regular day.
Like, this is just my lunch today."
It wasn't a special thing. -Yeah.
-I mean, I was sitting there, I was holding a popcorn bucket
of soda just like -- It's so much --
Like, I drink -- I love it so much.
And you fill it up, and it just keeps going.
It's so -- Like, when it keeps going --
It's long enough that you go, "I've got to fix my life, dude."
And then -- -It just keeps coming.
-And it just keeps coming.
Like, you have a long time to think about it.
And then, I'll take a little sip to make sure everything's cool.
And then I'm like, "Well, I'm gonna fill it back up."
You know, I don't want to get stuck out --
What if I get lost in the road somewhere?
And then, we took a picture, and I had -- I love McDonald's.
We should show McDonald's more respect, to be honest.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-People go in there with sweatpants --
you should have a tuxedo.
It's the most successful restaurant on Earth.
[ Laughter ]
It's like, it's an honor you even open the door for me.
I come from nothing, so... -Yeah.
You feel like people should give them more respect, but that's --
-Yeah. But he can't do that much of it.
I think, too -- You know what's hilarious, too?
So I have a podcast, "The Nateland Podcast."
Hello, folks, to the people listening.
But they -- it's -- I told that --
My mouth has been dry lately, and I said it on the podcast,
and they were like, you probably have type 2 diabetes.
So I was in that McDonald's. When that guy came up to me,
I was googling how to check for diabetes at home.
In a McDonald's, just googling that.
Just at a low point, you know? [ Laughter ]
And it's -- But that was like -- But I had to check it.
-You're googling that while you're getting a 98-ounce soda.
-Yeah, and type 2 is the earned kind.
That's not -- You know, type 1 --
[ Laughter ]
You got to, you know...
You got to clock in and clock out, every day.
-Gotta put the work in. -You show up, dude.
They don't just give it to you. You know?
You got to get after it. I found out --
But I did an at-home test before I came here,
'cause I wanted --
You have to, like, stab your finger, you know?
-Yeah, sure. -And my wife did it,
and she did it pretty hard. Like, it's --
'Cause I couldn't do it.
So I had her do it with the little thing.
And I mean, it was just the most blood.
I was like, "How deep do you want to go?"
You know? And I am --
But I was on -- I'm, like, the beginning of pre-diabetic.
Like, I'm right on the -- I'm a little normal.
It's like -- it'd be like if there was, like,
a "No trespassing" sign, and you walked in,
and you heard a gunshot, and you're like,
you can either just go be normal or you can be like,
"Well, I'm gonna go see where that gunshot came from."
You know, like -- [ Laughter ]
I'm right there on the edge of -- yeah.
-Yeah, with your diabetes. -That's how I look at diabetes.
-Are you cutting back on sugar?
-I don't know, man. I had gummy --
[ Laughter ] I do need to.
I'm reading a book about it,
'cause I do think I'm addicted to sugar.
So I eat ice cream every night.
And it's so much ice cream.
I like ketchup. I like to use enough ketchup
that the person next to me has to go,
"Man, that's a lot of ketchup." [ Laughter and applause ]
Like that's -- [ Applause ]
They have to feel like they have to get involved.
They're like, "That's a lot, isn't it?"
And I'm like, "Is it? I don't know."
-Wow. -I'm not -- yeah.
I don't -- I eat --
I ate gummy bears last night in the hotel.
And I didn't want to, but I love them so much.
[ Laughter ] -Nate, this is terrible.
-I love french toast and pancakes,
and I eat it every day, and it makes me so tired.
[ Laughter ]
I don't know, and I never blamed the pancakes.
I'm like, "What is up today, man?
Like I -- I guess I didn't get sleep last night."
[ Laughter ] I'm going to bed,
and immediately I have to go --
'Cause I went to the doctor, like, to get a physical,
So they go through it, they're like,
"What's your family history?" Like, I don't --
I've never asked, like --
How do I know what my family history is?
Just on the holidays, be like, "All right, raise your hand
if you got diabetes in the room. Let's go.
Let's just go through everybody.
How many heart attacks we got in the room?
I got a physical coming up." -That's a bummer, yeah.
But how is mom and dad? How are your parents doing?
-The parents are great, and everybody's doing great.
My parents are downsizing to a --
they got a home with zero steps.
That's what they've been looking for.
-Yeah. -They were -- They wanted --
They said, "Zero steps, or if we can find a place
where we could always walk down would be great."
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, exactly. -We found them one
with zero steps, and so my mom --
she's at the age she wants a koi pond.
There's an age you never want one,
then you hit an age, and you're like,
"That's all I've ever wanted." [ Laughter ]
So we were gonna go get her a koi pond for --
We did one for this past Mother's Day.
And so we were gonna go dig the hole and do it ourself,
and, dude, I don't know -- Have you ever dug a hole before?
Because it's maybe the hardest thing you ever do in your life.
[ Laughter ]
You see it on TV and movies, and you're like,
"I'll just dig this hole real fast," and you start doing it,
you're like, "I guess it's all CGI," because it's impossible.
[ Laughter ]
You can't -- It takes forever.
And you know it did? It made me realize, I was like,
"This is why so many people get caught,
when they kill someone, with a shallow grave."
That's how hard digging a hole is.
Even when you're digging the most important hole
of your life... [ Laughter ]
...it's so hard that you're like, "All right.
I think that's good enough right there."
You know... [ Laughter and applause ]
-"No one will ever find him." -Someone's like, "Oh."
-Cover it up. -"Could be..."
They're like, "Well, his hand's sticking out,"
and you're like, "Put a leaf over it, dude!
No one's gonna come up here." -Cover the -- yeah.
It's so hard that, I swear to you,
my mom's koi pond is aboveground.
[ Laughter ]
-An aboveground koi pond. -Aboveground koi pond.
-You're welcome, Mom. Nate Bargatze, thank you so much
for coming on our show every time.
"The Greatest Average American" is streaming now on Netflix.
Check out natebargatze.com for tickets.
See him live on The Raincheck Tour!