Item #: SCP-2353
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2353 has been contained in a standard humanoid containment
chamber and does not require any nutrition plan.
All personnel in SCP-2353's presence are forbidden from wearing inappropriate garments, footwear
and accessories.
The list of inappropriate clothing is fully detailed in Document-2353 but includes the
following:
Foam clogs commonly known as Crocs White clothing, including laboratory coats,
between the first Monday of September and the first day of Spring
Any kind of flip-flop or sandal when worn with socks
Denim shorts commonly known as jorts Additionally, SCP-2353 is allowed access to
a sewing machine and a rolling allowance of 35 US dollars a month to purchase magazines,
fabric and other equipment.
Access to the sewing machine and allowance may be revoked as a disciplinary measure.
Description: SCP-2353 is a sapient, animate mannequin of 1.6 meters in height and 2 kilograms
in weight.
It is composed of fiberglass with blue eyes, red lips, and light flesh tone painted on.
It is capable of communicating in English, Spanish, Mandarin, Arabic, French and Russian
in a woman's voice.
As SCP-2353 is completely hollow, it is unknown how it is able to speak.
SCP-2353 reacts in a hostile and uncooperative manner when presented with humans wearing
inappropriate clothing detailed in Document-2353.
When presented with such clothing or accessories, SCP-2353 will often turn its back to the human
and request for phone privileges in order to contact the United Nations.
SCP-2353 was found in a chain clothing department store attached to a mall.
Video recordings of SCP-2353 contain evidence of SCP-2353 talking to itself while attempting
to conceal or destroy articles of clothing it disapproved of.
The Foundation was alerted on 10/10/15 when SCP-2353 stepped out of its display window
and ran into the mall.
The following is a video transcript of the event and initial interview after successful
containment.
Transcript 2353-01
[BEGIN LOG]
<10:23> SCP-2353 is seen in a display window through a surveillance camera.
Its head moves to the right without visible manipulation.
<10:24> SCP-2353 can be heard speaking.
An unknown male entity can be heard talking to it; possibly one of the other mannequins.
Investigation is ongoing.
SCP-2353: "Oh no, this is the last straw.
I've been working at this Macy's for the past five years and this is the last fucking straw!"
<10:24> Unknown male voice: "Dammit Stacy calm down, they just gotta learn on their
own.
How many times I gotta tell ya, it ain't worth our jobs…
Stacy?
Stacy plea-"
<10:24> SCP-2353: "Don't you 'Stacy please' me!
I'm not tolerating this anymore!
The guy's wearing at least two sizes too small!
That muffin top's more like a mushroom cloud!"
SCP-2353 steps out of the display case and begins running towards a woman, accompanied
by a man carrying bags of clothing.
<10:25> SCP-2353 tackles the man and begins to try and remove his pants.
SCP-2353: "With all due respect what is wrong with you?!
Wear some proper sizes!
No one wants to see squished sausage!"
<10:25> Man: "What the fuck-" Man begins to struggle with SCP-2353.
<10:26> SCP-2353 successfully removes the man's pants.
SCP-2353: "Shut up!
There's a perfectly good jeans sale going on at the Levi's like three stores down to
your right!
Buy one get one seventy-five percent off!
Get those poor people to give you a proper resizing for once in your life.
Your balls will thank you for it."
<10:28> Woman: "Is this some sick fucking PR stunt?
I didn't consent to this!"
The woman physically assaults SCP-2353 with her purse.
<10:30> SCP-2353 picks up one of the bags of clothing and physically assaults the woman
with it.
SCP-2353: "What the fuck is wrong with you, miss?!
I saw you in the Crocs store last week!
There wasn't even a sale going on!
You have like, no excuse!
Even that kind, poor fella cashiering the damn place was giving you a side-eye!"
<10:35> SCP-2353 and the woman continue to argue.
Plainclothed guards arrive to separate the two.
The Foundation is alerted.
<10:36> A guard has difficulty handcuffing SCP-2353 due to its lack of adequate range
of arm movement.
<10:40> SCP-2353 successfully escapes the grasp of the guard and flees downstairs.
The guards pursue.
<10:45> SCP-2353 stops to assault a woman's feet.
SCP-2353: "Are you blind?
What the hell kind of frumpy sandals are these?
Zebra print?!
There's a shoe store literally behind you!"
<10:46> Woman: "Actually I am lega-"
<10:46> SCP-2353: "Oh my god!
I'm so sorry.
Miss, I've got an employee card and plenty of money I never use.
Come on, let's get you on a shopping spree during the one-day sale.
Just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't look fierc-"
<10:47> A plainclothed guard forcefully maneuvers SCP-2353 to the floor.
SCP-2353 is taken to a holding cell for further containment by the Foundation.
[END LOG]
Interview Log 2353-01
Date: October 10, 2015 Interviewee: SCP-2353
Interviewer: Dr. Khumalo Notes: This interview was conducted 2 hours
after the Foundation's acquisition of SCP-2353.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Khumalo: Hello SCP-2353.
I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind?
SCP-2353: Oh my god!
Ew!
[SCP-2353 turns away from Dr. Khumalo]
Dr. Khumalo: I'm sorry, is something the matter?
Can I do something for you?
SCP-2353: Yeah sure.
I need a call to the UN to report a violation of the Geneva Conventions!
White after Labor Day!
My god, not even secret organizations are safe…
[SCP-2353 refuses to communicate for the remainder of the interview.]
[END LOG]