Sometimes, you just get tired.
I think I just want to do nothing and just read.
I literally want to do nothing.
Hello my loves, welcome back to Lavendaire.
Let’s talk about what to do
when you feel like doing nothing,
when everything feels exhausting
and you have no energy or motivation to do anything.
I know some of you want to hear tips on
how to be productive
when you’re feeling unmotivated,
but the truth is,
when you’re in this low state
the best thing you can do is
the opposite of being productive
you have to slow down, be gentle on yourself,
and allow yourself to heal.
Don’t even try to get your life together.
Just allow yourself to be.
If you’re feeling this way,
it’s likely you have high expectations for yourself,
and you’re frustrated
because you haven’t been able to show up the way you wanted.
Or maybe others have high expectations on you
whether it's your parents or the people around you
or maybe you've been pushing yourself too hard,
taking too much on your plate
and burning yourself out.
Sometimes, we might feel this way because
we had expectations for what the world should be
or what our life should look like
and when that all fell short,
we lost our sense of control
and didn’t know how to handle it.
Honestly, even the pandemic
and seeing the ugly parts of society
can be really disheartening
and cause many of us to feel hungover,
unmotivated and exhausted.
In terms of energy,
we’ve been operating too much in our masculine,
focusing on productivity, achievement,
external success and control.
And now, our body and energy are telling us
we need to surrender to our feminine,
to go inward, slow down, heal and love ourselves.
Surrender is a key word here.
We have to release our feeling of control,
release our expectations on ourselves,
and accept ourselves as we are right now.
It’s both hard and easy at the same time.
It can be so hard to surrender,
but on the other hand, it’s so easy
because all you have to do is let go.
There’s no action needed.
Just, inaction.
So, what should you do when you feel like doing nothing?
First of all, let yourself rest.
Remove any and all pressure to BE or DO anything.
Just exist.
Stop putting any expectations on yourself.
Understand that you probably feel burnt out or depleted
so just let your body and mind rest and recuperate.
I think it’s so ironic and magical
that when you’re unwell,
all you have to do is do nothing aka rest,
because your body is fighting hard for you.
Your immune system is doing the hard work,
and your body literally already knows what to do.
You don’t have to do anything.
Just sit back and allow your body to balance and heal itself.
Secondly, give yourself love.
Be kind & gentle with yourself, no matter what.
Practice unconditional love.
Meaning give yourself love regardless of anything.
Love is accepting,
so accept yourself exactly as you are right now.
Don’t force anything, and practice self forgiveness
if you’ve been hard on yourself.
Wherever you are right now is OK.
Also, try shifting your focus
Don’t underestimate the power of changing your perspective.
We often feel low
because we’ve been focusing on the wrong or difficult things.
I learned this while doing the Liberation Kriya challenge.
When you focus on what is hard,
for example, the shoulder pain and shaking arms in that challenge,
you feel like giving up because it’s such a struggle.
But when you focus on what is easy, like breathing,
it makes it easier to get through the tough time.
So, instead of focusing on what is hard,
try focusing on what is easy.
Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong in your life,
focus on what is still going RIGHT.
Do this as a journaling exercise.
Actively choose where you turn your attention to,
because it matters
and it makes a huge difference in how we feel.
If you feel like you need more help,
talk to someone in your life that you trust.
We each need a support system in our lives
and our mental health suffers if we don’t have one.
Another option is to consider online therapy.
Personally I’ve used Betterhelp for the past couple of years.
Thank you Betterhelp for sponsoring this video.
Betterhelp is professional counseling done securely online,
and available for clients worldwide.
Once you sign up,
Betterhelp will assess your needs
and match you with your own licensed professional therapist.
On the app, you can message your counselor
or schedule a weekly video or phone session.
It’s really easy since everything is done online and on your own time.
What’s great is that it’s a minimal commitment,
you can switch therapists if you don’t like yours,
and you cancel anytime if you don’t like it.
It’s more affordable than traditional offline counseling
and financial aid is also available.
If you want to nurture your mental health with professional counseling,
try Betterhelp.
Visit betterhelp.com/aileen,
and join over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health
with the help of an experienced professional.
Since Betterhelp is sponsoring this video,
they’re offering the Lavendaire community 10% off your first month
just go to betterhelp.com/aileen.
The next piece of advice I have for you
when you’re feeling low is
stop consuming content that makes you feel worse.
This includes any content that makes you feel bad about yourself,
content that makes you compare yourself to others,
and even “positive or inspirational” content
because sometimes, it reminds you of what you’re unable to do right now.
Sometimes it can be hard to have a positive mindset about something,
and that’s okay.
Allow yourself to FEEL whatever it is you’re feeling right now.
Accept yourself, as you are.
If you want an instant refresh, you can also go into nature.
Being in nature heals you on a spiritual level.
You’re reminded of the stillness and ease in nature,
and that you’re just a small part of this bigger world.
When you’re out in nature, you feel small.
Here, you can revive your sense of peace.
It doesn’t have to be a major trip.
Just take a walk outside, go to a nearby park,
maybe go to the beach or the mountains,
or even your local nursery.
I mean even going to your local home improvement store
where they have that outdoor nursery
can make you feel a little better
Because I feel like the energy of plants and flowers can be so healing.
Next, understand that life happens in cycles.
Just like the cycle of the day, our moon, or our four seasons,
life also happens in cycles.
Change is the only constant.
This means that life never stays the same
and is always going through cycles or seasons.
Have you ever heard of the saying “this too shall pass?”
whatever you’re going through, know that it will pass.
You might be going through a tough time right now,
but it won’t stay like this forever.
Your situation and feelings will change.
Just stay patient and persevere through this season.
Learn to embrace the cycles and seasons of your life.
Both the highs and the lows.
Because without the lows, there wouldn’t be highs, and vice versa.
It’s the depth and variety that allow you to feel the difference.
If you only knew day, but never knew night,
you would take the sun for granted.
You wouldn’t appreciate it as much.
It’s because you know night,
that you can appreciate the day, and vice versa.
Same with our emotions.
It’s because you’ve experienced the lows that you can deeply appreciate the highs.
Once you’ve given yourself rest
and you’re ready to take some action, start with baby steps.
Again, release any expectations
or pressure you might have for yourself.
Break down your tasks into the smallest, easiest chunks you can.
If you want to start exercising to nurture your health and boost your mood,
instead of setting a goal like,
“I want to workout for an hour everyday”
Set tiny goals like:
put on my workout clothes today, put on my shoes,
open a workout app, or step outside to walk for 5 minutes.
Do as much as you feel you can,
and congratulate yourself for those small actions.
We tend to want to be ambitious
and set these big goals for ourselves,
but when we don’t meet them,
we feel like we’ve failed,
and we feel even worse about ourselves.
The better approach is to start small and give yourself grace.
A small effort is still an effort.
By doing this, you take the pressure off
and you’re building your stamina to be able to do more.
Lastly and importantly,
find gratitude in every little thing.
Get specific about all the small things in life you’re grateful for.
Open up your journal or word doc,
and start writing a list of sentences that begin with
“I’m grateful…” or “I’m blessed…”
I actually did this exercise last night and ended
up writing over 900 words in a list that went on and on.
It’s funny how once you start focusing on gratitude,
more and more things pop up.
I wrote things like I’m blessed to have experienced
music festivals and concerts pre-pandemic.
I’m blessed to have a big family with a lot of cousins.
I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my brother.
I’m blessed to have healed from emotional baggage in my past.
I’m blessed to be alive and healthy during a pandemic.
I hope these ideas were helpful to you,
it’s a gentle reminder that if you feel like doing nothing,
it’s okay to do nothing.
It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.
It’s okay to give yourself space to breathe, and to heal.
We all need it from time to time.
It’s part of our cycle.
Like I said, there’s both masculine and feminine energies.
Our world operates mostly on the masculine and we’re expected to do
and achieve and add value to the world.
But we can’t ignore the feminine energy
that wants us to go inward, to allow, to be.
I’m learning more and more the beauty of simply existing,
of least effort, not trying to achieve or do more,
but to do less and allow life to flow more naturally.
I think people worry that if you don’t do anything,
your life won’t move forward.
But that’s not true.
Just as your body knows how to heal itself when you do nothing,
your life will be guided forward and change will happen,
because change is ALWAYS happening even if you’re not trying to.
All you have to do is follow your intuition.
And if you don’t know what it’s telling you, get quiet.
Maybe it’s telling you,
you need a break before I tell you what to do next.
Thank you so much for watching.
Please subscribe and leave a comment below with your thoughts.
Are you able to surrender and flow with ease?
Can you release those expectations you have on yourself?
Sending you so much love for your journey.
See you next time.
Bye!