Greetings nerdy list aficionados and welcome back to top 10 nerd.
Today we’re looking at heroes and a list that was actually fairly difficult to compile
because well if you’ve made it to superhero status you most likely have something to offer
in the fight department.
Whether it’s tech based or not so we’re going to have to get situation specific with
a lot of these in other situations these heroes might be just who you need but in other situations
you’ll wish you had someone else.
I’m Sasha and these are the Top 10 superheroes who are useless in a fight with the caveat
it depends upon the fight.
So I hope you haven’t exercised yet today cause we’re about to stretch.
Number 10 – Green Lantern – Ringless most times when I say green lantern I mean Hal
poor tripping over his feet Hal.
The lantern rings function on will drawn to people with the capacity for great will and
ability to overcome fear through the force of that will.
Once selected the bearer has access to the full scope of the rings abilities including
conjuring of objects the limits of which are only the imagination.
They can encase themselves in a forcefield travel the galaxy learn to be able to affect
things that are yellow coloured, even the time limit isn’t as intense as it used to
be.
All in all it’s a great too but what happens when you don’t have it.
Well you’re just a person.
This has come up a few times in fights on the rare occasion that the rings runs our
of charge.
Or when the ring has been passed to someone else but someone is still coming for the first
bearer.
There’s actually a great moment at the end of the new 52 where Hal passes his ring off
to Bruce who for years canonically it’s just kind of been accepted could wield it
except for that brief period in johns run after rebirth when hal and bruce were patching
up their relationship and Bruce was the jerk for some reason for remembering all those
people hal killed he took the ring and couldn’t handle it.
Ok sure Jan. Anyways without his ring Hal is pretty average all the human lanterns are
even if they’re trained in martial arts or have a gun looking at you Baz.
They still are probably going to be useless as if you brought the green lantern it wasn’t
your average fight and you may even be in space in which case they’re dead.
Number 9 – Spider Woman while pregnant – We’re talking about Jessica Drew here.
Now Jessica Drew initially had no interest in motherhood so it made for a compelling
and for some perplexing arc when she decided that actually she did want to be a parent.
There was also a whole who’s the babies daddy arc cause I guess the writer just saw
one too many maury episodes.
Here’s the thing she still fought crime for a bit and this stressed me out to no end.
I have a baby in no way am I saying when you’re pregnant you need to go hide away from the
world but there’s a difference between going to work and the gym and fighting crime.
Even the images of her in costume pregnant stress me out.
And she fought not always intentionally and super pregnant too just ok now they weren’t
going to do anything but in reality these were villains one kick one punch one bad fall
one object falling on her and her baby dead.
The comics didn’t depict her as useless she kicked an unrealistic amount of butt.
I’ve been nine months pregnant and I can hear the but she’s spider woman and has
a super baby.
No look at this cover
Her baby has spider sense also maybe she’s in labour and skrulls you know when you’re
fighting and pregnant when you have no choice.
She’s best friends with carol no one could make it so she had a smooth pregnancy.
Oh but she wanted to help you say.
One kick one parenting starts before the baby is born that’s all I’m saying.
I’m pressed.
Number 8 – Wildcat – Now cause old.
Ok so wildcat is a member of the JSA the justice society of America and is a hero from the
golden age.
So when DC initially dealt with the golden and silver ages it was reconciled by making
these heroes older than their silver age counter parts.
So Wildcat became a mentor to many younger heroes or heroes who stayed young such as
Batman And Superman.
However, he’s getting older and essentially, he’s just a dude a dude with nine lives
but just a dude.
So if he’s up against someone with powers, increased tech or even just someone significantly
younger he’s not going to be much help.
Yes experience counts for a lot and can help you strategize but when it comes to stamina
and strength sometimes you just age out it’s a compelling story if told well.
Justice league unlimited had a fun time with it.
Number 7 Superman in a magical fight.
Yes, I picked magic over kryptonite cause depending upon where you are in the timeline
you can walk to the store and buy some kryptonite.
No magic is a more complex nebulous weakness for supes.
Doubly so cause sometimes it turns him into being a liability in a fight meaning he can
find himself being controlled.
The man of steel may be able to dodge a speeding bullet but he’s incredibly susceptible to
spells.
He’s had his powers taken away, swapped, been frozen just many bad things for Clark.
However, the good thing is he knows this is a weakness for him so tries not to be too
involved in these conflicts instead preferring to send leaguers if it is a league issue who
are better suited for the threat.
Also he just tends to find magic irritating I would too more powerful than a locomotive
taken down by a woman talking backwards.
Number 6 – Billy Batson – Not Shazam come on reach with me feel the burn So Billy Batson
turns into Shazam aka Captain Marvel when he says the magic word Shazam.
However other than that he’s just a kid a regular little kid.
This is worse than being just an average person cause well he’s an untrained kid.
So yeah he has the stamina but he’s small not as strong easy to capture.
If you can keep Billy from transforming you have a massive advantage.
And there are many ways to do it.
One of the best billy surprise transformations is in the justice league unlimited when captain
marvel still called that he hadn’t lost that lawsuit yet joins the justice league.
And superman gets jealous of him and the two end up fighting quite brutally later in the
episode only for Billy to accidentally transform back mid fight and for superman to realize
he’s been fighting and been jealous of like a 10 year old.
Awkward.
Number 5 – Gladiator – When Sad.
So Gladiator is one of those heroes who’s powers and abilities are tied to their emotional
state or self confidence this isn’t the most uncommon thing but it’s not too hard
to activate this in Gladiator.
He doesn’t have the thickest skin out there.
If this happens in a fight all of a sudden strength down powers not landing or being
ineffectual that makes him feel worse now you’re trapped in a shame spiral and probably
dying cause your backup is too busy feeling bad about how they’re not saving you sometimes
you’re not in a position to give a pep talk.
Sometimes you just need someone who’s powers work no matter what.
Gladiator, and Captain Britain too.
Both of y’all self esteem classes on your spare time.
Number 4 – Constantine Avoidance.
Now Constantine may seem like an odd choice for those of you who well know how powerful
he is and what he can do here’s the thing Constantine will avoid fighting as much as
possible if he can get out of having to fight Constantine will.
So he’s not the best back up you know demons everywhere blood everywhere Constantine seeing
if there’s someway he can maybe summon etrigan or get an item to do what needs to be done
perhaps broker a sleazy deal of some kind.
It makes him interesting that’s for sure but when the chips are down and you need someone
to come in ready to smite.
Well Constantine will help but only if he absolutely has to.
He’s also going to sass you the entire time which contrary to what movies will try and
convey is not cool or helpful while you’re fighting in fact it’s annoying.
Number 3 – Mogo The Living Planet.
This is a speed and mobility deal if you land on mogo well then good luck mogo can manipulate
it’s environment and make it quite an unpleasant time for you trapped on a living planet that
has literally turned against you.
But Mogo is a planet so the fight needs to be near it in order for it to be able to do
some serious damage.
Now Mogo can move but being a planet it’s not exactly zipping across the galaxy.
More like lumbering slowly I wonder what that would be like if you were on Mogo.
Mogo is extremely powerful and an integral member of the green lantern core which it
joined cause it wanted to and what greater display of will is there than that.
So Mogo useful but you need to get it there first and Kyle really needs to stay off Mogo
he always has such a terrible time.
Kyle just has a hard time in general though when people remember him that is I remember
Kyle and not just cause his girlfriend ended up in the fridge.
Number 2 – Storm in a small space - This is so high up cause this has happened more
than once demonstrable proof.
We can put our arms down.
Storm may be mistress of the elements but she is also horribly claustrophobic small
spaces or spaces where she feels trapped enclosed.
She’s paralyzed with fear when this happens and all that power well it’s not worth anything
if you can’t use it that’s the thing with all hypothetical powers if you can’t access
them well then I might as well be there with Billy.
Storm is aware this is a weakness and works hard to overcome it as she does all her fears.
Hey we all have something.
Number 1 – Hindsight Lad – Hindight lad might as well be called post mortem boy cause
well that’s what he does he can look at a battle after it’s happened and analyze
just where exactly things were deficient how things went wrong and what can be done about
it next time, but he himself is soft untrained and not protected really so if you threw him
into a fight well he could tell you why he lost it after but coming in as backup not
the most helpful.
I mean unless you were going up against one of those loses powers cause of self esteem
villains cause then you could tell them how bad their past plans were and deal with the
threat that way.
Your last scheme was embarrassing, it wasn’t even on brand.
Green looks terrible on you.
That’s like a death sentence in the marvel universe green is the villain colour of choice.
So those were 10 superheroes who are useless in very specific fights who do you think would
be useless in a fight and why share your thoughts down below.
Thanks so much for watching top 10 nerd don’t forget to like share comment and subscribe
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I’m Sasha and I’ll see you again soon here in top 10 nerd bye bye.