I got ya some grits for ya and I'm gonna serve you some breakfast! Some vittles
Oh we do NOT sound like that
The city that never sleeps. Subways. Rats.
Pizza. New York pizza. Bagels.
Sex and the City life. BROADWAY! Oh my God - Broadway!
People are always shouting at you. I don't appreciate that
Ah man. I think of assholes
Straight talking, no nonsense
They can be hard-asses but they're at the same time - you good? You OK?
Hippies. Surfers.
Vegan. Good Mexican food.
Obsessed with their appearance. Like plastic surgery! Oh my Gosh, I was about to say it
They're not very straight with their words, but they talk around things
Oh my gosh! That latte was so disgusting! Aw mah gowd.
One time I went to the gay pride parade, ah it was awesome!
Northern California is - they're more chill. I like the Bay Area. Expensive but they're cool
Northern California is more about ideas. Southern California is more image, entertainment, expressing yourself
Oh! Everything is bigger in Texas! EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS.
Cowboys, longhorns, line dancing
I'll let you take that one! I mean what can I say - I think it's the best place on earth.
We got oil. Yeah BBQ and stuff too. Lots of BBQ if you think about food
Mexican food. Austin Keep it Weird. Austin is pretty cool. Music right?
Austin City Limits? Definitely! 6th street - amazing bar area
Screwed - I don't know if you know what it is. It is literally music slowed down. Literally.
Beyonce, hello!
Big houses, guns and republicans
Yeah down home, you know - authentic? They drive direct, they talk direct. No nonsense
Oh no. Spring break!
Personally I enjoy Miami. Shout out Spring Break
Other than that, what else do they have?
Alligators, oranges, con artists. Recounts.
Beaches! Sunny. Hurricanes. Hurricanes, yeah...
South Beach Miami. Latinos and rednecks.
Get mad, get mad and take your glasses off.
Gloves coming off!
Florida's crazy. Literally google Floridaman and put any, any year you want
Ooh. Not a lot going on there. The Goonies! The Goonies were filmed in Oregon!
Really beautiful. Lots of rain, I think.
Honestly, good football team.
Portland. Also keep it weird in Portland.
Living on their farm, harvesting their apples. Knitting, they're usually knitting something. They all have bands.
Portlandia basically
Old school country vibes. Hospitality. Fried chicken. Grits! Oh yeah, grits - nice.
Heavy meals. Heavy food.
Gumbo. Cajun food.
I think of like cornbread, sweet tea
If you're from the South you probably love sweet tea. I love sweet tea. If you're not from the South -- with sugar. Extra sugar. Just dump sugar in it
We say y'all a lot down there.
Deep South is scary, racist as hell
When I moved there, the very first question I heard from someone who was living there was "what church do you go to"
Tailgate parties, ma'am
Mannerly, very mannerly. Bless your heart, bless your heart
You wanna learn some manners
I preferred it to Ohio in fact. Everyone does...
New Yowk. Cowfee. I'm WALKING HERE!
I'm from New York. How you doin'? You talking to me?
Like a whiny -- I used to have a teacher and she always called me "Zara"
Or if you're from Long Island you have to say like "This coffee is great" "COWFEE"
"Yeah son, y'know" Old Jay Z "Nah son. Whatcha doin' son?"
Como soy boricua (Cause I'm Puerto Rican)
It's very informed by the Italian-American population that moved there
New Jeywsey. JERSEY SHORE!
Goin down the shore. You wanna do a jagerbomb? I'll do a jagerbomb!
Workout, gym, tan..?
Gym, tan, laundry?
I just know..
Like, like, like.. OMG. It's basically Nissa
Dude. OMG. I need to go down and meet that director tonight!
So I just got back from Burning Man and I had the most unbelievable, extraterrestrial, multidimensional experience
Sometimes we can be kinda monotone and everything starts to end with a question
Bro, we're gonna like hit some waves after we smoke this weed and then we're gonna go work on our tech company. Yeah I was gonna say - tech bros.
Hey y'all! Y'all wanna get some BBQ?
Not so drawly like the South but like, more direct
Wanna go to the... I dunno, watering hole? Is that were they go?
Yeah you gotta talk out the side of your mouth, I think, like you're chewing straw. Like chewin' straw...
I can just give you black Texan, hood Texan. Maan, you know whatamsayin', come down from H Town Texas
Y'all wanna go grab your pick up truck and go down to the -- that was close, very close. I've never met anyone that speaks like that
Don't look at me for that!
Bless your sweet heart!
The Southern drawl.. it's all so slow tawking, real slow...
I can try. I can be a little bit of the Southern Belle. Nah, nah.
I got ya some grits for ya and I'm gonna serve you some breakfast! Some vittles
Oh we do NOT sound like that
Bienvenido a Miami! Miami.
What's Pitbull's accent?
Ah Miami. Si, es mejor lugar (It's the best place)
Say hello to my yurlfriend. That's a good one!
Mark Whalberg! How about them apples? Good Will Hunting. Yeah there you go
You paaked your caa in the Haavaad Yard. Paaked your caa. Paaked the car in the Haavad Yard
Get yer ass out here. Get yer paak on.
Chowde. Chowdah. It's like a Matt Damon, Ben Affleck. They get together and they do their Boston movies.
Sing it now? SWEET HOME ALABAMA
ALABAMER
WHERE THE SKIES ARE SO BLUE
LOWRD I'M COMIN HOME TO YOU
Ooh. I don't know.
Mississipi. Oh? Was it? Bless yer heart!
You work the farm, you go to Church
Kentucky? Mississipi?
It's like the Bible Belt down there.
California?
LA?
No?..What?
I sorta have to say LA. What else would it be? Florida maybe? Everyone's getting Brazilian butt lfts.
She gave you a thumbs up when you said Florida. I got it right?
TEXAAAS! Our slogan is literally "The Friendship State"
Friendliest? Friendliest is NOT Florida
Friendliest? Would it be someplace in the MidWest? I feel like it's Ohio.. It's gotta be Ohio right?
I was gonna say MidWestern.. like Minnesota.. MINNESOTA!?
Wisconsin.. (Minnesota) Close!
Yeah Minnesotans are super friendly
The least friendly is California
OK. Would New York be the rudest?
Rudest? I'm gonna go New York
I got screamed at to get into the ferry
New York gets a bad rap because people are brusk
I think New Yorkers are surprisingly kind. They're kind - they're just blunt. Rough on the exterior cause there's so many people
I've literally tripped on the street and fell in New York and someone caught me in their arms
That would never happen in California. No, no. They would step out of the way.
Utah!
There is literally nowhere else that can even compete. They all live there. I have friends from Utah and they're Mormon
Georgia! (No) Damn...
Seems obvious right? Yeah. Nevada! No?
(You're close) Oh, it's Oregon! WHAT!? They're stripping in Oregon?
WHAT!? OMG.
It's cold and rainy so it makes sense.
Florida has a lot of strip clubs. Yeah that's true. Not that I know! I'm like - you know who has a lot of strip clubs?
Portlandia and strip clubs.
Ooh! I failed history.
New York. Mhm.
Virginia! Ooh. Is it Illinois?
I was gonna say Illinois only because of Lincoln
Illinois? No it's -- oh...
Lincoln! Damn, Michael. Just killing it. I'm a trivia master.
Oh God. Georgia! Georgia. Georgia! Atlanta.
I've spent nine years of my life in Atlanta. There's Peachtree st. Peachtree rd. Peachtree ln, Peachtree way.. Peachtree Industrial - that is a real thing
I used to drive around Georgia so it was really difficult. Like - which Peachtree do you mean?
HAWAII??
That's a real thing?
In my opinion, Texas
My wife is Japanese so I don't even-- we have some Asians, got some Asians, we got some Asians
Louisiana! No, I'm lying - I'm gonna say number one is Atlanta. Atlanta has some beautiful women there
I was actually banned from Atlanta for like three years. How do you get banned from a city? Don't even ask
And then I say New Orleans even though we got some ducks there
California! Really? They work out a lot.
You must be into blond dudes. I kinda feel like surfer vibe
Californians are really hot so yeah
But with the sunshine, everybody's tanned and happy
I'd have to go with Maine or Massachusetts
Maine, what is Maine? You have to go to Maine. I'm not going to Maine!
I'm more of an East Coaster. I'm gonna go with either New York or Florida
Florida! Cause Miami! Miami airport - wherever I go there I'm like - is this a model convention?
New York is pretty good as well. New York is very diverse
It has more people coming from random places that anywhere else so you get a cross section, a slice of every walk of life
New York you have an intellectual, cute thing going. Yeah - sexy brains.
New Orleans! New Orleans is a State in this question!
Texas. Texas BBQ
Texas you have BBQ. Kansas City you have BBQ
Louisiana of course, hands down. Cincinnati. My home town, we have the Skyline Chili which is the best food in the world
It's got chocolate, cinnamon on top of spaghetti noodles with meat and then you add kidney beans and onions
And it's - we call it a three way, a four way or a five way. It's great!
I'm gonna say Chicago. Chicago has a lot of really good food from all over the place!
We've got the best cuisine - we've got Cajun dishes, we have jambalaya, we have gumbo, we have etouffee, we have boudin
California. Everything from cheeses and olive oils and wines, to Japanese food, some of the best. Some of the best Mexican. Mexican food.
Sushi for LA. New York for everything.
TEXAS. MAINE. TEXAS. MAINE.
Not Florida.
You know what, I have to say Oregon, after the strip club thing
I think Oregon, because it has a lot of that chill culture
It has beautiful hiking trails plus a great food scene
Hawaii. Hawaii is easily the coolest state.
Have to say my home state of Louisiana. Has the nicest people, has such a lovely, friendly, warm vibe
California! It's my home land.
I think California hits all the marks. I think it has mountains, beach, food, culture and sexy people
They are very progressive and I really rock with Cali
CALIFORNIA! Oh wow, thanks guys!