- Emily, thanks for coming back on!
- Thanks for having me!
- It's so fun to have you here!
- Thank you, I'm here.
- You've moved since I've seen you last,
to Pensacola, I mean you're just like all over the place.
- Big move.
It was a big move. - Yeah, so great.
- I'm glad to be there.
- Okay, so I feel like you're just like an expert
in so many areas of just like organizing
your life, right? - That's so sweet.
Thank you. (laughing)
- No, you are, like that's
what Emily Ley is known for.
Okay, so during this holiday season
I feel like a lot of people get very overwhelmed
and in your story, personally,
you kind of hit this breaking point, this wall,
and I just want to know a little bit
about that because it caused you to write your new book,
which we'll talk about in a second.
- It did and, you know, I think a lot of time the holidays
can be a catalyst for burnout where we overcommit,
we do so many things, we pack our schedules,
we often feel like we're missing out
if we're not doing everything
and then we get to the new year
and a lot of us want a big change, and that was me.
At the end of last year, I just hit a point
where I said, I am so tired.
And I was seeing it in my children.
I was even seeing it in our customers,
our friends, just this underlying tone
of everyone feeling really tired.
Like burned out and overwhelmed, and I at that time
actually sat down to write this book
and spent a good few weeks looking at my life
and saying, what can I turn the noise down on?
Our lives are just so crammed full and everything is so loud,
and I just decided to look at things and say,
what can I have less of to live a life that's more, you know?
- Yeah, that's so good,
so good, and so obviously the book.
It's on sale now, which is amazing.
- [Emily] It is, it's out!
- [Rachel] So where can people pick up the book?
- [Emily] Everywhere books are sold, everywhere.
- Guys, make sure to check this out.
And you hit on so many topics just in life,
but you focus a lot on technology and social media,
which I think is so fascinating.
Okay, so technology, you turned down
the noise of that specifically.
Okay so give us some tips,
some things that you've done in that area that's helped you.
- Well I started to realize
that when I got off of social media,
I got off of social media for 30 days to write this book,
and when I got off of it,
I started to realize that social media and technology
weren't necessarily my problem.
My problem was my habit of going to it and saying,
I'm either bored or I'm really busy
and need a break, entertain me.
Like, let me see something new, something new,
something new, and that constant need for that noise,
it wasn't healthy for me and I don't think it's healthy
for a lot of people.
And so, I just started doing some really tactical things,
like turning off every notification on your phone.
Did you know you can do that?
(laughing) - Like you don't
have to be alerted at all.
- I've had this conversation with so many people
that are like, I've never thought of it. And I hadn't either.
- So funny, can I tell you,
like I even like updated my weather app--
- Yes!
- This is such a silly example, and it automatically
turned on the notification,
and it literally like would notify me like,
it's about to rain.
- All the time.
- And it's just like-- and I was like, oh my gosh,
I have got to turn this off.
But it's like anything
will notify you. - Anything, yeah.
- Yes, yes.
- So I turned all the notifications off.
I started looking at noise in our home. Like, you know,
do we constantly have the TV running in the background
or when we're in the car is there just like loud music
when people are trying to talk?
And just looking at all of life and saying,
how can we just like hit the brakes and turn down
the noise a little bit so that we can really enjoy
the good stuff? Because we miss it
when there's so much else going on.
And that's modern life, right?
- Totally, so with technology,
like I want to know your life after you've done these things.
Because I hear this and I'm like, oh that's so good,
like if I implemented this in my life,
like what does it feel like?
Like do you feel like (sighs)? Is there freedom?
Like do you feel this weight almost lifted off?
- I feel like there's so much freedom in it when we say,
I'm going to pump the brakes and like take inventory
and look around at everything being too loud,
too busy, too fast-paced, too much.
There's so much freedom,
and we don't have to live life that way.
I think modern technology and, you know, modern advances
and all these ways that we've tried
to make life better and easier,
they've often made it a little bit more complicated
and we haven't taken the step back to say,
whoa, I'm not just going to, you know,
let these things into my life.
I'm going to be proactive about technology,
about social media, about my own health and wellness,
about getting rest and things like that,
so that I can be the best version of me.
- Yes, that's so good.
So social media, you've touched on this a little bit,
but you went through kind of a social media purge.
You went off it for 30 days to write the book,
and then you also went through and unfollowed
a bunch of people, right? Like you were kind of picky
and selective of like--
- Even friends!
(laughing)
- Yeah, okay so tell me about that,
like what was your filter, what was your mindset
when you were doing that?
- Well I think because I've built a business on social media
and I use it so much for our brand,
you know, we would follow people
we thought we had to or I would follow accounts
I felt like I needed to and you know, slowly built up
hundreds if not thousands of people
that I was allowing into my heart.
And there's that verse about
"Guard your heart for it's the wellspring of life."
I kept coming back to that and saying,
I need to be careful with social media,
especially with kids and having kids that are going to
come up into it, exemplifying guard you heart
in all of these ways and only allow in what you want to pour out.
And so, I unfollowed so many different accounts,
good accounts too, and just limited it to say,
when I go to my phone and I'm looking at social media,
how can I let it be a place of positivity
to put in what I want to pour out?
- So good.
- And it's so freeing, but it takes stopping and saying,
oh I can do that.
I don't have to follow a thousand people.
And my personal Facebook, I also just had a ton
of friends there, and finally decided to set the rule
and say, if you get a Christmas card from me,
we'll be personal friends on Facebook.
It's like, it's the litmus test,
you know? - I love that, yes.
I love that.
I have my litmus test of when I say like,
oh yeah we're really good friends,
I'm like, but do I have their cell phone number?
- Okay, that's a good one (laughs).
- That's my test. I'm like, do I have your cell phone number?
If I have your cell phone number,
I'll consider you a friend.
- Yes, absolutely, yeah.
- Ah, that's so good. Well and I love this whole approach
because you said it earlier but it is true,
it's like, you're being proactive about your life.
We talk about being proactive with your money
on here all the time by doing a budget,
being purposeful with your spending,
but with your time, technology, your social media,
like it can happen to you so quickly.
- So quickly.
- And you look up and it's been a year, right?
Or whatever it is, and you're like wow,
it's been a lot of time-- - A lot of time.
- Where I haven't been the one in control.
- Right, or it's been an hour and I've been scrolling
through pictures of who knows what, you know?
- And half the people we don't even know.
- We don't know! Right!
- I know, it's crazy. It's so crazy.
Okay so, again, the holidays are here,
so I know this is a time for me, having little kids
and I'm an extrovert so I'm like I love all the parties,
I love all the things.
- [Emily] All the things.
- But it is so exhausting-- - It is so much.
- Trying to like, do all the Santa meet and greets
and doing the parades or I mean, there's so much to do.
(laughing)
So, what do you do?
What's your advice to say, okay,
how can we have less and actually end up having more
because of that and during the holiday season,
just even with schedules?
- Well I think it's two-fold.
I think before the holiday season starts,
now is the perfect time to sit down and say,
what are the three things we want to do?
What are the three memories that we want to make
so that you know, come January,
we look back and say, I'm so glad we went and drove around
and saw Christmas lights or we went and saw Santa
or whatever it was.
Also, I think personally, I've often looked
at what's the biggest and the best and the flashiest,
fun Christmas thing because my kids need it,
and we got to do it because we got to get the picture
to post on social media
or whatever it is. - (laughs) Yeah, right.
- But like, when I look back at my life
with my kids who are 8,
and then I have two 4 year olds.
When I look back at it now,
my favorite holiday memories are baking cookies
in the kitchen, even if they're slice and bake,
whatever, or decorating the Christmas tree together,
or watching a Christmas movie.
They aren't always the things that we feel like,
oh, got to do that, you know,
this holiday season. - Right, that's the big thing.
Yes, because I think that's so true.
I'm like, when it is almost more low-key,
there's less stress.
- [Emily] Way, way less stress.
- You're way more present.
There's just more peace.
- Totally.
- And quietness and more like,
as a parent, more (laughs) control--
- More control over it.
- Over your environment and like, yeah.
- And it happens in the margin I feel like,
one of the things I learned most
through this kind of experiment that I did
was that when we allow margin to exist in our lives,
it will fill itself up.
And it'll fill itself up with the good stuff.
You know, not the stress of getting all the things
and doing all the things.
I mean, I could talk about this for days
because it was just life-changing to say,
hey world, I'm not going to live the way you're telling me to.
I don't have to.
- And your life is just so much more fulfilling.
- So much.
I mean it's a journey.
It's definitely every day
something I have to remind myself of and say,
be flexible with it but always have it in the back
of your head that more isn't always better, you know?
- [Rachel] Yes, so good.
- Yeah. (laughing)
- Well, you're fantastic.
- [Emily] Thank you.
- Thanks for coming on.
- Thank you for having me.
- So great, again you guys,
"When Less Becomes More," Emily Ley.
Be sure to check it out.