"Do not rub."
Oh!
Hello??
I think something's wrong with your gravy boat!
I definitely didn't rub it!
(off-screen) Ooh!
Ooh! Finally! It was tighter than a tick's behind in there!
Who are you?
Well, uh, you rubbed the magic gravy boat and smoke came out. Obviously I'm a genie, ma'am.
I thought genies were blue.
Ok that is actually a very hurtful stereotype.
I'm so sorry...I...there's just, um...
...a lot to process here.
So, I rubbed the magic lamp--
-Gravy boat. -Gravy boat...
...and you came out...so...
Do I...get a wish or something?
Does Paula Deen soak her dentures in butter?
I don't...know?
Shoot yeah! You actually get three wishes!
Uh, but just know that, uh, I can't make anyone fall in love,
uh, I don't do the infinite wishes thing,
and I can't make everybody drive the right direction in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Well let's get to it! What's your first wish?
Oh! Um...
I wish...
I wish I was rich?
All right! Uh...
We talking like "I just got my taxes back" rich, or
"I can afford to shop at Publix without coupons" rich?
Uh, the...second one?
All right!
Here we go!
Ta-da!
What just happened?
You are now the inventor of, and the only person allowed to sell those.
What are these?
Those are door hangers. And Southern women can't get enough of 'em.
They get one for every holiday, season--
No, no, no. I just wanted to be rich.
And you will be. Especially if you put like a monogram on there with a chevron print and a big ol' burlap bow.
No, no...I...
I don't want to be a door hanger dealer. I just wanted to be rich. Can you not give me what I asked for?
Lordamercy, calm down!
All right, what's your second wish? We'll make it happen.
Ok...I...
I wish I was in perfect health!
That's easy enough.
What is this?
A never-ending supply of VapoRub!
Seriously, that container will never go empty.
It says it expired in 1993!
Oh, no that's a lie. That stuff never goes bad.
Can I just...make my third wish and get out of here?
Well, yeah, that's how it works.
Ok...I wish...
...I...could fly!
Wait!
On my own! Do not shoot me out of a cannon.
And I don't want...wings.
You done?
Yes...I think...
Here we go!
Whaddya think?
Oh my gosh! You did it!
I'm flying! I'm actually flying! Thank you!
Just doin' my job, ma'am.
I'm gonna go to the beach!
See ya later!
All right! Hey if you're going to Destin, there's a little seafood restaurant down the, uh--
Hey!
Hey, why am I going the wrong way?? I don't think this is the way to the beach!
Ooh...
I forgot to mention that you can fly anywhere you want, uh, but you gotta go through Atlanta first.
What?!
Yeah, sorry. Uh, sometimes I can do layovers in Charlotte and Dallas?
Ugh, this is crazy!
Ugh! I wish I never rubbed that stupid gravy boat!
You're not a genie! You're a scam!
Huh.
"Do not rub."
You reckon there's a genie in here?
Only one way to find out!
I wish Tennessee football would win the national championship.
What's wrong with you?!
Get outta here!
Gotta figure out how to get back in here.