Hello and welcome to Good God with God.
I am God and today's episode is brought to you by the sycamore tree.
It's a tree that is in America and you know, it's got bark that falls off,
and butchers use it for blocks, people make instruments out of it.
The sycamore tree. I made it, I love it, check it out.
Okay, well today we have a very special guest.
He's a little cherub of a god type of guy and shoots arrows at people to make them--
- That's right. - Yep. It's Cupid.
- Hello Cupid. - Cupid!
- Hey Cupid! How are you? - I'm doing good, God.
So Cupid, so you go around and you're a little baby who flies,
and then you shoot people with the arrows to fall in love.
What do you care about love I guess?
I think that love is the most important thing
and ever since I can remember I just wanted two people to fall in love,
- and of course eventually have sex. - You think about sex when you shoot them?
Oh yes. I imagine the two of them having sex,
- and then I force it to happen. - Cupid--
I say, I would like to see those two people have sex and I shoot them in the rear end.
Jeez. How do you decide who goes with who?
I picture what their genitals look like
and I think about what it would be like if the dentals came in contact with each other.
- You think about the generals first? - Yeah.
And for some men who are gay I think about a butthole and then the penis.
Well, it's good that you shoot all sorts of couples.
- Yeah. - Have you ever like, shot three people
so they would have a threesome or something like that?
- Of course I have. - Man.
It just feels a little weird to me to drug people via arrow into a threesome.
- It's a part of nature. I view myself-- - Definitely not.
- That's definitely not a part of nature. - I feel like I'm a part of nature.
Cupid is a part of nature. I'm just like a little bird or... Yeah.
No. No. Birds don't affect how two people are to the point
- where they were having sex. - I just think sex is beautiful
- and love is beautiful. - It is beautiful.
It sounds a little more like you're horny.
I don't think my balls ever drop, so I don't know--
- So you can't... - Yeah, so, I can't get an erection.
I mean, so you being a Roman god, are you just pretty much a human body,
or are you just following those rules? You're just kinda-- But you're stuck as a little baby.
I describe by testicles as a little empty feather, so.
- I didn't ask you to describe it. - Ah well, I just thought I would.
A little empty feather bag. Nothing in there. No balls.
- Okay. I get it. You're a little baby. - Yeah, just little baby.
I can fit in your panty drawer, but I am flesh and blood.
- I just started bleeding the other day, in fact. - What?
- My gums are a little bit inflamed. - Oh God, you're right.
- Are you chewing right now? - Yeah. I'm dipping skull.
Oh, my... I wanted to bring up that disgusting cup that you brought.
It looks like an ancient chalice.
Have you been carrying that around and spitting in it for hundreds of years now?
Well, yeah. This little spit cup is my baby blanket--
I'm just gonna throw it out there, I think you should shower,
- because you're covered in dirt. You got-- - Okay, okay.
You have like a little sink so I can take like a little babies bath?
- Like bird baths? - Yes. I'll splash a little water in my mouth--
In your mouth?
You got bleeding gums, and you're putting bird bath water in your mouth.
Well, I think it tastes good. It's refreshing.
Jeez Louise.
When you shoot people with the arrows,
do you ever clean them before you shoot the arrows off?
Because, I mean, those arrows look disgusting.
I don't clean them, but I don't think it's been a problem.
- That's all the time we have on Good God. - Thank you for having me.
Thank you Cupid for being on the show.
Is there any last parting words that you would like to say?
Thank you for creating sex, because I like to watch it.
Today's episode has been brought to you by the sycamore tree.
It provides a lot of shade, its kind of tall, it could get really big, it's green.
You know, hey, give one a hug next time you see it.
The sycamore tree. I made it, I love it, check it out.
This has been Good God. God out!