[music playing]
JESSICA: Well, welcome.
It's great to see all three of you.
Well, all four really. - Yeah.
Technically, yep.
With just one week to go in the Happily
Ever After experience, Pastor Cal and I
are taking advantage of the time to meet with the men
and the women separately.
How's she doing?
She's sleeping so well.
She's doing good.
So that we can give them the opportunity to talk freely
about issues that may be unique to their role
as a new mother or a new father.
How are things going?
I know so much has happened.
I had a really rough few months though.
First trimester was rough?
The roughest.
But I feel like it's--
hopefully, it's smooth sailing now.
Once you hit the second trimester,
and once you're about halfway through,
you start to get more energy-- - Yeah.
--and you feel like you can--
ASHLEY: I feel like I never got that energy.
No, I never got the energy.
But I feel-- like, I relatively--
I feel good.
One of the things I want to emphasize with the three of you
today is, this is really the time to hash out any issues
before the end of this process.
So Ashley, you've identified that one of the issues that you
and Anthony were struggling with had
to do more with communication.
How's that been going?
I've learned, if it's something that's
really important to me, like, I need
to talk about it right away.
And when he walks away from it, like, I
just assumed like, all right, you
don't want to talk about it?
Then you must not care.
Like, I had no idea, like, that that was his way of processing,
that, like, he was trying to, like,
cool off or figure it out, you know?
So it's nice to know that, like, that's not actually the case.
One of the things to be clear about
is what you need from your spouse.
Sometimes, even just writing it down--
here's the things that we need to accomplish--
might be useful in preparing for sort of next step.
So Danielle, how has the emotional expression
been going with Bobby now?
I've gotten very comfortable expressing, like, frustration.
And he's gotten very good at, like,
figuring out how to handle that.
But I still have a lot of work to do
on, like, positive emotions.
Who in your life are you most expressive with?
I'm very good at telling Henry how much I love him.
SHAWNIECE: Who's Henry?
My dog.
ASHLEY: Your boyfriend.
SHAWNIECE: How much you love him?
Yeah.
I'm always like, I love you so much, Henry.
You're the best boy ever.
So the dog gets more of your loving.
Yeah.
SHAWNIECE: It's the opposite at my house.
It just reminds me of Jephte and Keke.
Now that we have the baby, I have
to watch him look at the baby and Keke and go,
I just love you two so much.
So it just makes me feel like, OK, I'm here.
I'm your wife. I'm cooking.
I'm cleaning.
Like, I'm doing all this, and you never
once told me you loved me.
I literally cry.
Because I'm like, you never once told me that willingly.
Hearing Shawniece talk about how she feels when she
doesn't hear Jephte express himself, I think,
is definitely very eye-opening, and really helps me see
it from Bobby's point of view.
She's talked about how hurt she's been.
And it makes me feel pretty bad.
And I don't want Bobby to feel like that.
Sometimes, I feel like it's implied, or that--
That I'm supposed to know.
Right.
Yeah, you just--
like, of course I love you.
Like, that's why I'm here, and that's I'm with you,
and that's why we're doing all these things,
is because I love you.
What are your thoughts on that with bringing
a new baby into the world? - Yeah.
I mean, I don't want her to have those same problems.
I don't want her to look at us and be like,
I can't tell how Mommy feels about Daddy.
So--
Danielle and Jephte both struggle
with emotional expression.
Danielle has acknowledged that this is an issue for her,
but knows that she really needs to focus on this.
Being able to be more emotionally expressive
is going to be like learning a foreign language.
They're going to have to practice.
It's going to feel awkward at first.
But the more they do it, the more natural it will become.
I want you to make sure you are intentionally
expressing your feelings-- DANIELLE: Yes.
--maybe multiple times a day.
DANIELLE: Yes.
And that's a good way you can model for your children.