-Texas and Mississippi announced
that they're lifting their COVID restrictions,
including mask mandates against the strong warnings
of public health officials, and the same Republicans,
putting workers in harm's way are also silent
on a courageous drive to unionize Amazon workers.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
We are tantalizingly close to what could very well
be the end of the COVID pandemic.
No one knows exactly when that could happen.
Predictions for when we'll hit herd immunity
and return to normal range from as early as April
to as late as Christmas.
But we know with vaccines
ramping up and cases trending down,
especially as we get closer to summer,
there are genuine reasons for optimism.
And I know it's hard to believe.
When I hear good news, it's like when a vegan
eats a cheeseburger.
My body doesn't know what to do with it,
but it knows it's good.
Our souls have all been ground to dust by a relentless winter
and a year of being trapped indoors,
drinking gin straight from the bottle
and bingeing increasingly obscure TV shows.
It got so bad I downloaded a German streaming service
called
to watch a crime show that takes place in Baden-Wuerttemberg,
starring famed German character actor Albert Van Mueller-Schmidt
as Detective Otto Jaegerhauer.
Oh, man, let me tell you,
episode three is a real "clippenbugel."
That's German for cliffhanger.
Anyway, the point is we're so close,
we can't screw it up now.
We need to spend the next two
or three months really crushing this thing
so we can all have a potentially beautiful summer.
The Senate is on the verge of passing a massive COVID
relief plan to help get everyone through the next few months.
And President Biden has announced a production deal
that could ensure vaccines
for every American by the end of May.
Think about that.
Come July 4th, you could be knocking back
a cold one in your neighbor's yard
while he flips burgers and drones on
about how much better it is to cook with charcoal.
You'll be seeing so much of your neighbors,
you'll start praying for the next pandemic.
We could get there. It's possible.
We just have to spend the next few months not screwing up,
which of course, means some governors immediately
started racing to screw it up.
-The governors of Texas and Mississippi say
they are lifting nearly all of their states' coronavirus
restrictions and mask mandates in the coming days,
now despite new warnings that the US could soon face
a deadly fourth surge of the virus.
-Health officials are warning Americans
should not become complacent
because this pandemic is not over yet.
We are still seeing roughly 1,500 deaths
every single day from the virus.
-All businesses of any type are allowed
to open 100%.
Also, I am ending the statewide mask mandate.
-Your reaction to the governor's announcement today?
-Insanity. I'd like to say that Governor Abbott
has lost his mind.
-In fairness, maybe he didn't lose it.
Maybe it just froze during the massive power failure
that happened on his watch.
-Damn it, guys, we're so close. Why are you doing this now?
You really want people to congregate at full capacity
in bars and gyms and nightclubs?
I wouldn't even go to a
full capacity nightclub without a pandemic.
I mean, why?
So I can awkwardly wave my hands
in the air to some EDM
while a jacked due on molly touches my face
and asks me how Stefon is?
He's fine.
He's fine and he's fictional.
And by the way, this isn't the fault of Texans.
They need and deserve help and vaccines as much as anyone else.
It's the fault of their political leaders.
And look, I get it.
Businesses really are struggling.
It's still too early to reopen the riskiest ones,
and we should just be giving everyone money to survive.
But I understand -- it's a difficult trade off.
But rescinding the mask mandates?
That's just full insanity.
Masks work. There's so much proof.
Thanks to masks and social distancing,
the flu basically vanished this year.
Meanwhile, South Dakota resisted a mask mandate
and that state's mortality rate
has been the highest in the country since last July.
Masks can actually help us open up more safely.
Plus, I got to be honest, I'm surprised politicians
that are so pro cowboy hat find masks uncomfortable.
Maybe it's my weak neck, but I'd rather wear 100 masks
than one of those big ol' hats.
That's a shame though, because I look very good and natural
when I wear one. [ Laughter ]
That's real. That's not Photoshop.
One of the most galling parts
of rescinding the mask mandates is that many of the people
who will suffer most are workers.
The mask isn't just for your safety,
it's for the safety of those around you.
Workers who have no choice but to show up to their jobs
in person will be at risk
and the politicians will be fine.
So, please, keep wearing a mask.
The last thing a Footlocker employee needs
is for you to show up maskless
and spend an hour trying on different sizes of red Yeezys
that are gonna look ridiculous on you no matter what.
And by the way, this is the same party
that, as we speak,
is trying to rebrand itself as a workers' party,
even as they needlessly put workers in harms way.
In the aftermath of the Trump presidency,
you've probably heard a few Republicans
ludicrously trying to rebrand themselves
as the champions of the working class.
You know, the same guys who cram
through a $2 trillion tax cut
for corporations and the wealthy in the dead of night
without a single hearing and literally scribbled notes
in the margins at the last minute
to make it easier for the wealthy
to avoid taxes by using pass-through companies.
All that stuff Springsteen's always singing about.
♪ Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack ♪
♪ But I can claim them as consultants ♪
♪ And I get it all back ♪ [ Laughter ]
I mean, now it's good. I had a bad one last week,
but now it's fully like he's here.
[ Laughter ]
Remember when Elizabeth Warren,
who is now pushing for a wealth tax on the richest Americans,
that the fake Republican populists also opposed,
tried to read the text of the GOP tax cut
and couldn't even make out what it said?
-They're sending around their edits as we speak.
"Adjustments attributable to conversion from S corporat--"
Oh, it's been cut off -- "to corporation.
Section 481 is amended by adding at the N."
I assume they mean "end,"
but again, it's all cut off.
"The following new subsection, adjustments
attributable to conversion for a corporation..."
Something. C Corporation.
Per in...
Dangerous? That can't be right.
-Sounds like she's trying to read the text
on a bottle of Dr. Bronner's.
Made with mint, lavender, juniper, and...
whale meat?
That can't be right.
By the time they were done with it,
that bill looked like a science textbook
you got for six dollars at an off-campus bookstore,
the one where the last paragraph says, "As of this publishing,
Jonas Salk is getting some promising results."
And I have to say, watching a Harvard professor
try to make heads or tails of nonsensical writing
gave me chilling flashbacks to college.
"So that's why Pacino and De Niro make convincing,
if unlikely, adversaries in the movie 'Heat.'
Now, Mr. Meyers, you do know
this is a chemistry class, right?"
"Hey, you're not going to find better chemistry
than De Niro and Pacino in their prime.
That is a much more explosive combo
than hydrogen peroxide and sodium iodide."
[ Chuckles ]
They should do a remake of that movie now.
And instead of a diner, they'd meet virtually.
"Thanks for meeting me in the Zoom room!
All ready to Zoom tonight, baby!"
"I can't hear you. Somebody muted you. Somebody muted you."
"What? I'm on mute?
Nobody mutes Alfredo James Pacino!
My mic is always hot, baby!
[ Laughter ]
And I'm feeling sky-high!"
It's very nice when there are no people here...
'cause then I can give the people what they want.
[ Laughter ]
So, the same guys who wrote and voted
for that massive giveaway to corporations and the wealthy
who are needlessly putting workers in harms way
by repealing mask mandates
and using them as cannon fodder against the virus
are now trying to rebrand themselves
as working class populists.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz tried that last week
at the Conservative Political Action Conference
and then again this week on Fox News.
-The Democratic Party has abandoned
the working class men and women,
the millions of people who are out of jobs,
who are seeing their wages pulled down,
who are competing to provide for their families
with people coming illegally.
That's not who the Democratic Party represents anymore.
They don't represent unions anymore.
They don't represent construction workers
or truck drivers
or working men and women anymore.
The Republican Party
is not the party just of the country clubs.
The Republican Party is the party of steelworkers
and construction workers
and pipeline workers and taxi cab drivers
and cops and firefighters and waiters and waitresses
and the men and women with calluses on their hands
who are working for this country.
That is our party!
Oh, please, Ted Cruz, your hands are so delicate
you need an epidural to get through a manicure.
The only calluses Ted Cruz has on his hands
or for checking Kayak on his phone.
Also, I'm willing to bet the only truck driver Cruz
has ever met is this guy.
But yeah, sure, we all believe you're a pro-union,
blue-collar guy who's fighting for working people
from your flight to the Ritz-Carlton in Cancun.
I'm sure those construction workers
you're pretending to care about are thrilled
that, thanks to the tax bill you voted for,
they can finally convert their S corporations to C corporations
and use their corporate pass-through vehicles
to reduce their tax liability.
Everybody remembers the famous photo of steelworkers
sitting atop a skyscraper.
But did you know they wrote off those lunchboxes
as business expenses by funneling their income
through a limited liability company?
But if Ted Cruz and his fellow faux-populist hucksters
like Missouri Senator Josh Hawley,
really wanted to prove
they're supposed pro-union blue-collar bona fides,
they could easily speak up in favor of a courageous
and unprecedented union drive by Amazon workers in Alabama,
because right now those workers are bravely taking on
one of the richest and most powerful companies in the world.
And the company is going to extreme lengths to stop them.
-An historic labor showdown in Alabama tonight
involving the world's largest online retailer,
and it's drawing the attention of the White House.
Thousands of workers at an Amazon warehouse
voting on whether to form
the company's first labor union in the U.S.
Amazon pushing employees to vote no.
-Bessemer, Alabama, is home to an Amazon warehouse
where about 6,000 employees are voting right now
on whether to form the Internet giant's first union in the U.S.
It's a bitter battle.
Warehouse employees like Jennifer Bates
constantly get texts from Amazon,
warning that union dues could leave them
with less money than they already have.
Anti-union fliers are even posted
inside a warehouse bathroom stalls.
-First of all, Amazon, stop sending anti-union texts.
In fact, stop sending texts in general.
Amazon texts me more than my wife,
especially when I ask her about one of my impressions.
Seriously, Amazon, I don't need a text every time
I place an order, then another one
when that order's received, and then another
when the package is shipped,
and another when it's dropped off.
What's next -- a text when my neighbor gets mad
that I left the package in the hallway for too long
and reports me to the co-op board
for a disciplinary hearing?
Janet, I know you've been trying to get me kicked out
because you hate my welcome mat, but too bad
because I think it's funny...
and we need to laugh, Janet!
It's hard to overstate just how seismic
and historic this union drive is.
Amazon workers are fighting
against the largest retailer in the world
run by one of the richest men in the world,
which is going all out to stop them.
-Why do you want to join a union?
-Because I feel like we need an amplified voice.
We've been talking to Amazon about issues that we've had
and they've ignored us, so we need a sense of security
and a louder voice and better wages.
-Amazon hired a group of union buster consultants
that they paid each consultant $3,200 a day
to try to convince these people to vote against theirselves.
Amazon is no more than when we look at things down there,
it's a sweat shop and people are out there
just working -- They have to touch a package.
Every eight seconds they have to touch a package.
They're only allowed two 30-minute break a day.
-They have to touch a package every eight seconds?
That's insane.
Not even the TSA works that fast.
[ Laughter ]
Fred, where's my rimshot?
Fred, that joke clearly called for a rimshot, buddy.
Okay, you know what? We're going to have to have a meeting.
Well, where was I? Oh, right.
They have to touch a package every eight seconds.
[ Rimshot ]
[ Laughter ]
Just too late, Fred.
But also, it's insane they only get two 30-minute breaks.
They're essential workers employed by a company
whose CEO increased his wealth
by $75 billion in 2020
and they basically kept the entire country
running during a pandemic.
Without Amazon, I probably
would have had to camp out at Trader Joe's for toilet paper
like the standby line for SNL when BTS performs
or when I hosted.
You should have seen the line.
[ Wind howls ]
I did not sign off on adding a tumbleweed.
[ Laughter ]
This is an actual fight by courageous
working-class union organizers against a corporate Goliath.
If you were to actually take the pretend populists
of the GOP at their word,
this is the exact kind of thing they supposedly care about,
and yet they've been silent.
Meanwhile, Biden released a major
and truly unprecedented video in support of the effort
and without mentioning Amazon by name,
warned companies to stop intimidating workers
who want to unionize.
-The choice to join a union is up to the workers --
full stop.
Full stop.
Today and over the next few days and weeks, workers in Alabama
and all across America are voting
on whether to organize a union in their workplace.
This is vitally important -- a vitally important choice.
And there should be no intimidation, no coercion,
no threats, no anti-union propaganda.
No supervisor, no supervisors should confront employees
about their union preferences.
-And of course Joe came out for the union.
He was one of those guys eating lunch on that skyscraper.
You think he's going to be out-blue-collared
by Ted Cruz, of all people?
He's ridden Amtrak so many times,
he's probably got a railroad union card.
If politics didn't work out,
his fallback plan was working in the snack car on the Acela.
"We got gum and coffee, and that's it."
So Biden came out forcefully in favor of union rights.
And yet we've heard radio silence
from the so-called populists of the Republican Party
who pretend to be pro-worker and anti-big tech,
although in fairness,
they do have much more important things going on right now.
-Well, first it was Mr. Potato Head
and Mrs. Potato Head,
now it's Dr. Seuss.
-They want to cancel the Muppets.
They want to cancel Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
So when will this stop?
-You see last week they tried to cancel Kermit the Frog
and Mr. Potato Head? You see that?
-Look out, Mr. Potato Head. You're next.
-If I wanted to buy one and let's say
I had the boy at home and I wanted the girl,
the box is going to say "potato head."
How am I going to know which one I'm getting?
-This week alone, they canceled Mr. Potato Head.
You know, this week alone, they canceled the Muppets.
You know, they're canceling Dr. Seuss.
-First, they outlawed Dr. Seuss
and now they want to tell us what to say.
-Ah, yes, the party of the working class,
if class in this case means third grade.
Do you guys really think any actual adult
in their right mind cares about a few Dr. Seuss books
getting pulled from publication because of racist imagery?
Even my kids don't care about Dr. Seuss.
They want to watch the League of Legends World Championship,
even though I'm still trying to get them into
my favorite board game, "Ocean Master,"
which has a new expansion pack called "Port of Call."
The way it works is
you get skill cards for every port you dock at,
which helps you mine resources which translate to gold coins,
which you can then use to hire deckhands
who help you find islands where you collect minerals,
and whoever collects the most minerals
gets to pick a different game to play.
Republicans are preposterously trying to rebrand themselves
as a party of working-class populists,
despite the fact that they're still in lockstep
behind a racist billionaire tax cheat
who helped them dole out trillions in tax cuts
to corporations and the wealthy.
And now they're needlessly putting workers in harms way
by prematurely lifting mask mandates.
And one of them flew to a luxury resort in Cancun
while his constituents froze to death.
Meanwhile, courageous Amazon workers in Alabama
need and deserve the support, and Republicans are silent.
Turns out there's only one worker
they're willing to stand up for, and that's...
-Mr. Potato Head.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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