You hear from a lot of kids from big families that,
especially the ones who are older,
have a sort of energy of, like,
"I was like a second parent to my younger siblings."
Do you have any inkling of being sort of a second dad to your younger siblings?
No, not a bit.
No one would have ever mistaken me for a dad or trusted me to be one.
This is something I was gonna write an essay about,
was being a brother and what does that mean to be a good brother?
And I think it means turning your siblings onto drugs.
Uh, and I'm not talking about heroin,
but, you know, if you've taken mushrooms
with some of your favorite people, it's great.
I am both nervous and excited to meet David Sedaris.
I'm pretty sure that he's gonna be a chill dude.
He's just real. He's an entire vibe, a whole mood.
I feel like to a degree
I kind of know him through his essays.
I have loved his work for years.
( theme music playing )
- Hello. - Hello.
- Nice to meet you. - Hi. Francina.
- Cindy. Nice to meet you. - Hi, Cindy.
- Should I sit here? - Yes.
This is "BookTube." It's a vibrant community
of people that come to YouTube
to share their love of reading and books.
We're so happy that you came.
In case you forgot who you are,
you're David Sedaris.
You are the best-selling author of books such as
"Me Talk Pretty One Day," "Naked,"
this recent entry, "Calypso,"
and we're very, very happy that you could join us today.
- Oh, thanks for having me. - Yeah.
We wanted to start off a little bit broadly with your career.
Jake, do you want to sort of kick us off?
Jake: Oh, I would love to.
I'm curious about what your first big break was,
and what you were doing before that that led to that moment.
Sedaris:
a creative writing class, and somebody said,
"Oh, I'm having a happening at my loft on Saturday.
Do you want to come and read?"
And I thought, "Sure."
And then I read out loud and I thought,
"This is exactly what I wanted to do."
And then my friends and I would put on variety shows.
It was this little club in Chicago
that would let us do whatever we wanted.
Ira Glass from NPR was in the audience one night
and he called a couple years later
and asked if I had anything Christmas-y
that would work for a local radio show.
So, I had worked as an elf at Macys,
and so I read the part of the diary
that I kept while I was working there.
And then he put it on "Morning Edition."
Sedaris's voice:
and was told, "Congratulations, Mr. Sedaris, you're an elf."
In order to become an elf, I filled out 10 pages worth of forms,
took a multiple choice personality test,
underwent two interviews,
and submitted urine for a drug test.
During the second interview, we were asked why we wanted to be elves,
which when you think about it is a fairly tough question.
I was living in New York City
and working for a housecleaning company.
And that was on the radio, and then the phone just started ringing.
I mean, literally, like, a telephone operator called
and said, "Oh, I just heard you on the radio."
And I said, "Are you allowed to do this?
Like, make calls like this?"
And then "The New Yorker" called and said,
"Would you like to write for us?"
And I said, "Well, let me think. Yeah."
- 'Cause that's really what I wanted. - Mm-hmm.
It seemed like you were destined to become a writer.
Can you imagine yourself doing anything else?
Well, I went to art school, you know, for visual art.
And I looked around me and I saw these people
who were so good and they were just gonna get better.
And I thought-- not in a competitive way, but I thought,
"Wow, they have something I'm never gonna have."
I do have that, but it's not for visual art.
It's for writing, so...
Hi, I'm Cindy from the channel ReadWithCindy
where I talk and review books.
No one's putting a gun to your head
and making you watch my video, right?
Right?
And basically what I'm gonna do
- is just shoot a whole bunch of questions at you. - Okay.
- Are you ready? - Sure.
What's your guilty pleasure?
What-- my guilt--
it's a television show and it's called, uh...
- "Hoarders"? - No, it's called, uh, "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta."
Oh.
What is your favorite word?
Oh, I can't say it on this show.
You can say it to my ear.
- Really? - Yeah.
( gasps ) I will try to incorporate
that word in my vernacular as well.
So, you've written nine "New York Times" bestsellers
- throughout your career. - Twel-- sold 12 million books.
Sold 12 million books, got nominated for a Grammy.
- Five Grammys? - Five Grammys.
So, what do you want written on your tombstone?
"He was rich."
Great.
And I want it in diamonds.
- A tombstone made of diamonds. - Diamond encrusted.
In your work and in "Calypso,"
you talk a lot about your partner Hugh.
Sedaris's voice:
but we have our share of fights,
the type that can start with a misplaced sock
and suddenly be about everything.
"I haven't liked you since 2002,"
he hissed during a recent argument
over which airport security line
was moving the fastest.
This didn't hurt me so much as confuse me.
"What happened in 2002?", I asked.
Do you share the stories with him?
Does that-- is there tension?
I'm closing a story with "The New Yorker" right now
and it's about Hugh.
And it's the first time
he's ever kind of objected to an essay about him,
and it is exactly Hugh.
And everyone who knows Hugh says, "Oh, my God, that's Hugh, exactly."
It's difficult when you're in a relationship
'cause you think, "Okay, I want this story in 'The New Yorker.'"
So, I said to him, "I'll give you all the money that they give me."
It's a negotiation.
But it wasn't what he looks like naked.
It's not anything-- it's-- everybody who knows him
knows that he can be really moody.
- And... - That comes through, I want to say.
- Yeah. - That comes through.
But then, at the same time, when I wrote the essay,
I showed how irritating I am.
You always do-- I think since you began writing about Hugh,
he always seems to appear, in the essays, irritated with you.
I was on the way over here reading a story
that came out in a blog titled "Are David and Hugh Okay?"
Do you feel like we're getting a full picture
of your relationship with Hugh?
First off, I'm so grateful to be living in a time
where I can write about my relationship with Hugh
and it's not in the gay section of the bookstore, you know?
I don't want to be there. I want to be in the bookstore.
And I think the way that I write about my relationship,
it's a way that anyone can relate to.
Our problems don't stem from being gay, you know?
Our problems stem from trying to make a life with another person.
Has the fear of being confined to the gay section of the bookstore
affected the way you write about the things you write about?
No. You know what?
I think it's just I was always true to myself, right?
But one of the things I've never written about is sex.
And I gotta say, I think it's true that straight people,
if you're gay and you talk about gay sex,
then they're like, "Well, this isn't for me."
But when you're gay, you grow up, you know, hearing about straight sex.
When I sit there in a movie theater, I'm like, "Oh, my God."
Like, I'm disgusted. Even as a child, you know,
you watch people kiss and you're like, "Ugh."
And so we have to put up with that
and we've always had to put up with it,
but I'm true to myself that it's not my subject.
Like, I don't even write about it in my diary.
Do you think you would've written more about sex
had you not for the last three decades
been in a relationship with someone
who probably would not want you talking about that?
The only time I've ever broken my rule--
well, because he won't pee in front of me.
And I'm like, "I had that in my mouth five minutes ago."
And I've had so many straight people come up and say,
"We have that same argument." Do you know what I mean?
Certain essays that you write about
talk about your mother's death or your sister's suicide,
and they are these things that generally are just
whispered amongst families or friends.
Is it therapeutic to you to give these emotions to people
that are kind of this anonymous crowd of readers?
No, writing's never been cathartic to me. Never.
It helps me make sense of the world.
But that said, I meet so many people now
who have had somebody in their family commit suicide.
That's been really interesting to me, to write about that
and to be introduced to this whole sort of community
that's out there that I never thought I would be a part of.
And they know exactly what it is that I'm talking about.
Because it's always assumed,
"Oh, you must feel so guilty," you know?
Like, "You could've saved that person's life and you didn't."
But I haven't met anybody who feels that way, you know?
Nine times out of 10, it's the person's mental illness
or, you know, their alcoholism or whatever it was.
Most of the people who I've met realize
there was nothing they could've done to change it.
And I'm always happy to meet someone from that club.
Hello, my name is Jake Roper.
I'm the host and producer of the channel VSauce3.
I've always been curious about the world around us, especially fictional worlds,
and I wanted to express that curiosity through science.
Time is relative
and doesn't move at a constant rate.
The faster you move through space,
the slower you move through time.
So, I wanted to ask you about what motivates you or drives you to create.
I don't know. It just always meant something to me to take,
I don't know, a piece of paper and fill it up.
I guess it's just a habit, you know?
Just something I get up every day and I do.
- I don't ever not do it. - Yeah.
But is the intention always for it to be shared?
- I write in a diary every day. - Yeah.
And so not all of that is meant to be shared.
But people come up and they say, "Oh, I know you. I feel like I know you,"
And that's fine with me.
I wouldn't say to them, "You don't know me.
Let me ask you five questions and see if you get them right."
Mainly I just give the illusion of exposing myself.
It's just an illusion, you know?
Because usually the more embarrassing something is,
the more people can relate to it.
It's 'cause we're not that different.
I was at-- went to the hospital in France once
and they told me to undress to my underpants.
And then they led me to a little room
and there's a little waiting area like this.
And so I go and I sit down in my underpants
and a couple comes in, and this is France,
so they're not just fully dressed, they're beautifully dressed.
- Yeah. - And then more people,
and the room fills up with people,
and it's like a horrible dream.
And I'm in my underpants and I'm thinking,
"One day, this will be funny."
But that doesn't make me feel
like I've chipped away a piece of my soul.
It doesn't matter to me that anybody would know that.
You've written kind of a lot about your youth,
and a lot of it's hilarious.
But, like, people would be up in arms by today's standard
if someone were to start writing about that now.
If someone were to be like, "David, I can't believe you did this
when you were 18, 19, 22.
You should be ashamed of yourself."
What do you think about cancel culture?
How do you feel about that?
Well, with cancel culture, I just wonder about it.
Like, if you're not on social media,
how do you even know you were cancelled?
Right? I mean, I think as an artist,
the great rule is that there aren't any rules.
But now there's so much talk
about what's yours to write about.
Like, "That's not yours to write about. Like, it's not yours."
And it's like, "Yeah, it is."
You know, there were people who were saying,
"You had no right to write about your sister's suicide."
Well, I can't write about my own, you know what I mean?
When my last book came out, I did an interview with "The New York Times"
and they said, "Well, you know, you said some things
about your dad here that are pretty rough.
Did you share it with him?"
And I said, "I thought he'd be dead by the time the book came out."
I mean, he's 96.
It's a reasonable assumption, you know?
I'm Francina Simone,
and my channel is FrancinaSimone.
"The Unwanteds."
I'm going into it hoping that I have a good time,
and that's it.
I want you to read the last line of your book
because I want to talk about it.
- It's so... - Okay, never-- I have no idea
what the last line of this book is.
What made you write that last line?
Oh, I was talking about some things my father gave me.
And I think if you were to read the story,
you would think, "Oh, that's so sweet.
His father gave him an old calendar
and a postcard that's framed.
That is so sweet."
But I actually have a nice home
and I didn't want those things
and I put them in the trash can at the airport.
He's never gonna visit. He's 96.
Plus, it's an expired calendar.
It's not-- give me something good and I'll keep it.
There are so many underlying themes
and lessons in "Calypso,"
and I was curious what has been the most important lesson
that you've taken away through your whole writing process?
- Easy question. - Gosh. What's a lesson? I'm trying to think.
Oh, you know what? When I first moved to France, I took a French class.
And my teacher, like, threw chalk at people
and she'd get up right up in your face and mock you.
My neck froze up, I was so afraid.
And I wrote an essay about her.
Sedaris's voice:
saying, "Every day spent with you
is like having a cesarean section.
You exhaust me with your foolishness
and reward my efforts with nothing but pain.
Do you understand me?"
And it was with great joy that I responded,
"I know the thing what you speak exact now.
Talk me more, you."
When it came out, she was really hurt.
What I didn't add to that essay
was that we all kind of adored her.
And I don't know if it was Stockholm Syndrome or what,
but it would've been-- it was hard to explain
that we adored her because she was such a monster,
and so I left that out.
And in by doing so, I hurt somebody.
And so don't be lazy.
And if it's hard,
that's just gonna make it a better essay.
- Yeah. - Because it's better to kind of
hate somebody one minute and love somebody the next.
- It's more interesting. - I think that's very human, too.
It's authentic, yeah.
Well, I think that is the perfect place to end our conversation.
Thank you so much for that lesson,
and thank you for sharing this book with us, David.
I think we all really appreciate it.
Thank you, young people.
It's this and then this.
And sorority squats.
Could we do, like, a prom one?
- Yeah. - Oh, oh. Wait, wait.
LGBT prom.
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