(Sad piano plays)
(Applause) Heavy: Thank you, thank you!
LIFE IS PAIN
That was a re-creation of a Competitive Heavy clip showcasing the raw power of this big Russian boy
As the slowest class in the game, Heavy truly struggles to out-position his opponents
Because of this, many heavy mains live for the moments where you just say
"fuck it!"
and blindly jump around a corner into the enemy team
Enemy Heavy: OOOHHH NOOOO
These moments are SO gratifying, and if you stopped watching this video right now
You'd think that heavy is the best class in the game...
but oh boy, you'd be wrong
If you ever feel a need to hone your spy paranoia,
play Heavy for an extended period of time.
I can barely walk out of spawn anymore without thinking
AAAA IT'S A SPY!
Oh wait, it's just my scout asking for a sandwich.
Let me take it out and....
oh! Look at that, my medic's dead
Enemy Spy: PEEKABOO!
But I can't complain about spies all day...
Heavy's massive health pool allows him to tank all sorts of damage and make his enemies look silly!
Haha, just kidding!
I'm still complaining about Spy!!
You might think Heavy doesn't have any...
"movement,"
but here, I'm barely able to punish this Demo for assuming all back up by walking /into/ him
One of Heavy's greatest
"MOVEMENT"
tricks is to be braver than your opponent expects!
oh
Hoo... That sure was a close one, 'eh Spy?
NOPE, gotcha again!
This whole segment is me complaining about Spies!
Even when you catch a Spy, they just won't die!
Just look at this Spy!
He is /so/ screwed, and yet he won't die!
HE JUST WON'T DIE!
Enemy Spy: "I'm so dead!"
Enemy Spy: "AAAGH"
Despite all my complaining, I've really improved at countering Spies.
So all you Spy mains better watch out, I'm out to getcha!
(Demon voice) CEASE YOUR EXISTENCE
It's such a delight when you punish a Spy for blipping out of their invisibility for even a second!
Heavy: "Uh oh! >:)"
I hope it's not too upsetting for you spy mains when this happens...
After all, it's all in good fun!
(Demon voice) DO NOT RESIST
And of course it's always a feel-good moment when you save your medic :)
Not this time, Spy!
(Demon voice) EMBRACE YOUR END
And what could be funnier than a Spy just messing up entirely?
Enemy Spy: "I'm coming for you!"
Enemy Spy: "Oh no..."
(catchy jingle) "I couldn't succeed at what I'm doin"
(Enemy Spy screaming)
Enemy Spy: "Fuck, I'm dead."
Again, if you want to build a healthy sense of "Oh god,
I could be shot in the face at any moment if I'm not careful and every moment of life is a blessing,"
Heavy is your guy
Here, you can see me brawling it out on the point when I suddenly get the
OVERWHELMING premonition that I'm about to be shot in the face
I crouch in anticipation,
BUT BOOM, just a second too late because of the way lag works.
That's right, meet me at LAN,
MUFFINMAN
I mean, I get it right: Sniper counters Heavy,
but some snipers just take it too far man!
This guy headshots me, and then tries his luck again.
Yeah, don't hurt yourself tryin'.
Anyway, I won't be peeking that door anytime soon
Sniper, panicked: YA BETTER HOLD ON TO YOUR HEAD MATE
I'M GONNA PLANT ONE RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR EYES, YA PUNTAH
I can take care of this mini sentry, then dip back inside...
WAVE GOODBYE TO YA HEAD, WANKAH
I'M GONNA TURN YA INTO COLORED RAIN....
Ope! Someone's shooting me, I'll take care of that...
Get outta here, Scout!
YOU'LL BE NEEDIN ANOTHER USE FOR THAT NECK,
HOOT!
Finally, I'll top off my health, and SURELY by now the sniper is peeking somewhere else...
Thankfully, there's some justice in the world:
the enemy sniper sees me, and, again
(same aggressive gibberish)
But I've learned my lesson, and I'm not moving an inch!
Yeah, I see your little dot thing! I'm not moving!
But then: One, two, three!
Thank you!
Engineer: "Weren't no thang :)"
Okay, okay, so heavy gets wrecked by spy and sniper, but what is he good at?
Basically, he's a monster in head-to-head combat
(aggressive Pyro sound)
(Epic music plays while Pyro screams)
Don't do that! Don't just rush heavy without a plan, that's what he wants!
Here's an excellent example of what not to do
Enemy Pyro: Hey guys, there's a Heavy at our cliff!
Enemy Soldier: Don't worry Pyro, he's no match for me
Enemy Pyro: OH YE GODS, no! Don't worry Soldier I'll-
Enemy Engineer: Not to worry, I've got this under contr-
Heavy: ALL OF YOU ARE BABIES!
Heavy: Who sent all these BABIES?
Heavy: AAAGH! I am dead.
Enemy Heavy: AAAAAGH!
Enemy Heavy: MY ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES
Hey you!
Sniper: "Me?"
Yes, you lad!
I'm here to teach you how to position yourself against a heavy!
Sniper: Thanks mate!
(Sniper screams)
Sniper: Okay.
This is not a good position to be in against a Heavy.
Sniper: Yeah, that seems about right
(Sniper screams)
Sniper: No worries!
This is also not a good position to be in against a Heavy.
Sniper: Thanks for the practice!
Let's see what you've learned!
Is this: A
Not a good position to be in against a Heavy,
or "B," a good position to be in against a heavy
(Sniper chuckles)
Sniper: You're makin this so easy!
Sniper: "A!"
Look, you have to treat every corner like there's a heavy or pyro right around it.
You can't just open a door and be like:
ERRR, Hey! What's goin on in here?
Or else you're gonna get your team ripped apart one by one!
Mowing down unprepared opponents is Heavy's THING, man!
It's what makes him so fun to play!
Soldier: SCREAMIN EAGLES!!!!!
Soldier: Welp, that was not the plan
All these moments where you just delete overconfident enemies from the video game are so rewarding
Ope! One health left!
Time to take a sandwich out of my pocket and eat it!
I've been wearing these pants for three days...
That's right!
After a long day of shredding bad guys, it's nice to just take it easy and take a bite out of your...
Oh no
(aggressive mini sentry sounds)
(Heavy screams internally)
(Elevator music)
Heavy: Sandwich
(Cheesy 80s music)
It's hard to imagine life without the sandwich.
Heavy takes so much damage all the time that he absolutely
needs a way to recharge without going to health kits
Come on, Heavy. Why can't you eat your sandwich underwater?
Heavy: (disgusted sound)
YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE!
Of course, eating your sandwich is always a gamble since it makes you stand still for so long
Enemy Heavy: (singing) HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME
Enemy Heavy: (singing) I MADE MY MISTAKES
Enemy Heavy: (singing) GOT NOWHERE TO RUN
Enemy Heavy: AAAA, BULLSHIT
But sometimes it's nice to just take a minute and watch things unfold
Enemy Engie: This here point's ours now!
(crowd laughing)
And besides, you'd be surprised how much the sandwich actually heals you in a pinch!
Enemy Medic: HORRIDO! HEE-AAAH! I'm going to saw through your bones!
Medic: uh...
(Ominous music and eating sounds)
(Medic screams internally)
Heavy: I have plan for you!
Medic: No!
Heavy: Yes.... (maniacal laughter)
Hello yes
You might not have known that you can give your sandwich to other players
If you didn't, don't worry, your teammates would have told you
(Pyro teammate says "can you give me sandwhich three times)
Carlton: "Hey G, would you make me a sandwhich?"
But you know, sometimes it's nice to be there for someone in need
"Where are you?"
Oh, here you go
Scout: I.... EAT.... YOUR...
Scout: Sandwhiches! I eat 'em up!
(Scout teammate laughs)
"Did Scout grab it??"
(laughing)
Let me tell ya somethin:
If heavy could build his own teleporters, he'd be 200% better.
Engie: wat?
Heavy... plus... teleporters... equals
A SUPERIOR CLASS
Heavy is slow, and he NEEDS teleporters!
So all you Heavies out there, be sure to THANK your engineers for building these,
let them know it isn't going unappreciated!
Wait, what the f- HOLY SH-
Just make sure that you let heavy use the teleporter,
especially when there are only 16 seconds left in the round!
Oh.
Oh, you took the teleporter.
I mean, I guess it was our Demo...
Oh.
It's a level 1.
(Sighs heavily)
Heavies got some problems, all right?
All his strengths and weaknesses come together to form one glaring issue:
If you're winning, it's great!
If you're losing: UUGH.
Let me see if I can illustrate this: Can you guess which heavy wins this fight?
How about this one?
Aaaand this one?
Think it over!
IT'S ME!
I WIN!
I ALWAYS WIN
All of these clips have one major thing in common:
the enemy heavy is on THEIR side of the map,
painfully trying to make their way towards the captured objective
This is commonly referred to as:
LOSING
You can argue things like
"Weeeell, Heavy is a DEFENSE class,
so he shouldn't even have legs to begin with!"
(Heavy says "Yatta" robotically like a sentry)
But the point is that there's no question which one of us is going to win in these Heavy...
DUELS
There's one last thing that really needs saying:
Casual Heavy is a completely different experience than Competitive Heavy!
In organized Highlander matches,
You are guaranteed to be up against one competent Spy and
one competent Sniper
In casual games, the enemy team might not even have a sniper!
Or at least, not a competent one
While gathering clips for this video, I went 35-1 in a casual game
This is not a sign of how powerful Heavy is,
it's a sign of how hard he punishes casual players
I know that most of my viewers
Just play TF2 casually and that's fine
But I think it's more interesting to /talk/ about the classes in a competitive setting
with experienced players that know how to counter you
Because, in that setting,
you're gonna learn the limitations of your class
real quick!
In a competitive match, the enemy team won't hesitate to exploit any
weaknesses your class has!
That means it's on YOU to push to push Heavy's potential to the limit
and be there for your team!
YOU have to learn what the best players are going to do to make your life a living nightmare,
And you have to learn how to do the same thing to them!
In other words, you have to learn how it FEELS...
to play Heavy.
(sniper shoots)
Hello, and thank you for watching!
This video would not have been possible without my amazing Patrons on Patreon
It's been so great chatting with my patrons in my Discord server,
and I'm gonna be doing a patron-only stream tomorrow as well as after every big video project.
If you can't join me on Patreon, don't worry about it!
But feel free to join my discord server in the description.
Believe me when I say that it's been a pleasure to make this video for you, and I hope to see you next time