- DC, you built like one Nee aunt legs.
- Them ain't your eyebrows, is it?
Them yours?
- No.
- One shaking.
- Ooh! Boy, if you don't get your auntie built
looking ass off of me.
(crowd cheers)
Silence! Now, Nick Cannon, what's up, Foo-Foo?
- What's happening, fool?
- What up gang? Silence.
Now,
this rapper whose real name is
Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn.
Man, that is an ugly ass name.
He has one more baby mama then you,
but one of his baby mothers
does have a real talent.
Ooh!
What is this rapper's name?
- Wait, what was his name again?
- Aw, (beep) mother (beep) stupid.
Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn.
(crowd laughs)
- Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn?
- Yeah, that (beep) name Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn (beep).
(crowd laughs)
- Imma try, is it Future?
- Huh? - Future?
- His name is Nayvadius.
(crowd laughs)
- Future's real name?
- You correct! (beep)
(crowd cheers and chants)
Silence my minions!
Now, people always talk about
how bad yo damn music is, Nick.
- Yours too.
- No, no, no, no.
Don't say nothin' about mine when we talkin' about yours.
But you know,
I do love listening to your music
when I have trouble sleeping so, it works.
It works.
Trust me, I go straight the (beep) to sleep,
I ain't gonna lie.
Now, they also say that you have something in common
with a fellow rapper, alright.
That was from Staten Island.
And he also never liked to use condoms as well.
Who is that rapper?
- So you telling me there's a rapper from Staten Island
that's famous for having a lot of kids?
- I mean, he just likes hittin' raw,
you know what I'm saying?
Everybody like to do a little raw man technique,
every now and then man.
- Now for, so, okay, I think I know you talk about now.
- Uh-huh.
- He's actually from Brooklyn.
His cousins are from Staten Island.
- Oh, for real? - The Wu-Tang Clan.
- I'm just reading what the card say, Nick.
- He's from Brooklyn
and his name is the Old Dirty Bastard.
(bell dings) (crowd cheers)
Rest in peace.
(crowd cheers)
- Shut up my minions, shut up!
- Yo, what you got on?
Yo, you look back at skinny ass Wesley Snipes.
- They gonna call you..
They gonna call you Razor Blade.
(crowd and cast laugh)
- What did the left butt cheek tell the right butt cheek?
(crowd laughs)
- What did the left button cheek tell the right butt cheek?
Really? Are you asking me that?
- What did the left butt cheek
tell the right butt cheek?
- Man, after all this (beep)
and we still together.
That's from third grade. We know that joke.
I been saying that joke since I was a kid.
- God damn, boy you good. (bell dings)
(crowd applauds)
- [Nick] You really took it to grade school with that one.
- [Everyone] Baby daddy,
baby mama, baby daddy,
baby mama, yo, who wants to drop?
- I'll take a little drama.
- Aight son.
- My baby mama is so unemployed.
- [Everyone] How unemployed is she?
- (Beep) she used to work for you, Nick.
What happened? (beep).
What's happening?
(bell dings) - You got her pregnant twice.
- This only for two, no I can't say that.
- Team Evolution, Team Revolution, wild out!
- [Everyone] Back seat of my ride! Go! Go!
Back seat of my ride! Go! Go!
Back seat of my ride!
- I just got fly.
- [Everyone] Back seat of my ride!
- I used to sell bean pies!
- [Everyone] Back seat of my ride!
- Boy, you don't try.
- [Everyone] Back seat of my ride!
- (DC raps) ♪ Because I am not the person
♪ That you thought I was, Nick Cannon. ♪
♪ I get to bammin. ♪
♪ You can't understand it (beep) you damaged ♪
- What? (Beep)
- I can't top of that!
- Yes! (bell dings)
- What! What!
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
♪ The back seat of my ride! ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ We gettin' hella lit ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ You getting' hella (beep)! ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ I got the cutest fit! ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ You look stupid as (beep)! ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ You got no registration. ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- ♪ Here go the declaration. ♪
♪ You 'bout to see what's happening ♪
♪ Hold up no separation ♪
♪ (Beep) your people ♪
♪ (beep) where's our reparation ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Back seat of my ride! Go! Go! ♪
♪ Back seat of my ride! ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Who we introducing? ♪
♪ Who we introducing? ♪
- ♪ This is my cousin and this is kinda scary ♪
♪ But don't she like a character from the ♪
♪ Wildthornberry's ♪
- [DJ] ♪ At the family reunion ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Who we introducing? ♪
♪ Who we introducing? ♪
(hip hop music)
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
♪ I'm the man on this bus ♪
♪ So I'm gonna give you some help ♪
♪ I'd be like turn right ♪
♪ And turn left ♪
♪ Now listen I want you to listen what I said ♪
♪ I be like ♪
♪ Look there go a big ass head ♪
(crowd laughs)
♪ I'm a man on the bus ♪
♪ You ain't never been out of town before ♪
♪ I tell you everything where you want to go ♪
(buzzer rings)
- She don't know.
(crowd laughs)
- ♪ There's a hater in a house ♪
♪ Should I get him ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Let's get him ♪
- ♪ There's a hater in the house ♪
♪ Should I get him ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Let's get him ♪
- Boy, I'm about to get on yo ass.
Boy, you think I don't see your ass.
Camera man, get his ass. Right there.
- [Nick] Who? - Big, white teddy.
Boy, your ass look like a goddamn clown on Spawn.
Ugly ass (beep).
(crowd laughs)
- There it go.
What did he say DC?
- ♪ There's a hater in the house ♪
♪ Should we get him ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Let's get him ♪
- ♪ There's a hater in the house ♪
♪ Should we get him ♪
- [Everyone] ♪ Let's get him ♪
- Come here. Come right here, camera man.
Come right here, camera man.
Where we at? Right here, you ready?
Cortez, I see you little body havin' ass (beep).
You only get two checks for talent
and a lamp check ugly ass.
- DC, I don't know if that's Cortez.
Cortez, is over there.
- Oh my bad, Cortez.
- Watch this okay.
Hi, they're playing.
- Hi.
- They call me Dr. Blaccaloose.
But my friends call me Beat you.
Beat yo Blaccaloose.
(bell dings)
- [Nick] ♪ We got to killin' and killin' and killin' ♪
- Your top pick is beat boxing.
♪ And killin' and killin' ♪
♪ Pick up and killin' and killin' and killin' ♪
♪ - You already know when they come in the south ♪
♪ Imma beat bop with my mouth ♪
Come on!
♪ - Okay (unintelligible) ♪
♪ And I am the one that go ♪
♪ And this goes out to you DC ♪
Oooh!
- What's it gonna be DC?
- I don't know what he said but look.
(DC beat boxes)
Come on!
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
(Biz Markie beat boxes)
(crowd laughs)
♪ - [Nick] Pick up and killin' and killin' and killin' ♪
♪ -[Everybody] Pick up and killin' and killin' ♪
♪ And killin' ♪
- Your topic is ex girlfriends.
♪ -[Everybody] Pick up and killin' and killin' ♪
♪ - Talking about ex y'all got some switches ♪
♪ Matter of fact (beep) y'all (beep) ♪
♪ - Yeah my man while you going hard ♪
♪ There's something out in your back yard ♪
♪ - Hold on lets dance ♪
♪ Know your ex girlfriend got your new pants ♪
♪ - Check out your pants ♪
♪ Look like my daughter's ♪
♪ Now now you know that (beep) out of order ♪
(crowd laughs)
♪ - Hold up what the (indistinct) like that ♪
♪ Why the hell your voice sound like that ♪
♪ - Why you sound like a young Chris Tucker ♪
♪ You idiot mother(beep) ♪
♪ Skinny mother (beep) ♪
♪ - Oh look nasty ♪
♪ The (beep) is wrong with your hat ♪
♪ - What the hell's wrong with you ♪
♪ This is what (beep) I do ♪
♪ - [Everybody] Killin' and killin' and killin' and killin' ♪
♪ Pick up and killin' and killin' and killin' and killin' ♪
- Go you ready?
DJ D-Wrek, drop the beat.
- Lets go D.
Lets do it.
- ♪ Welcome to the candy store ♪
- Put your hands in the air.
- ♪ Where you can have all you want ♪
♪ And so much more ♪
♪ If anybody out there's got a sweet tooth ♪
♪ This one's for you ♪
♪ And it goes a little something like this ♪
- ♪ Your a box of chocolate ♪
♪ Come on and unwrap this ♪
♪ You don't want to (beep) me ♪
♪ Can I have a taste of your chocolate ♪
- ♪ Your a box of chocolate ♪
♪ Come on and unwrap this ♪
♪ You gon' wanna eat me ♪
- ♪ Can I have a taste of your ♪
♪ Chocolate ♪
♪ So much I can lick in this place ♪
♪ Put that caramel on my face ♪
♪ I heard she aint wit that ♪
♪ Guess what ♪
♪ I break your back like a Kit Kat ♪
- ♪ Boy I know that you wanna check ♪
♪ But give me time and I'm gonna give you the space ♪
♪ Ain't nothing more that I got to say ♪
♪ It be all night (unintelligible) on the way ♪
- ♪ I know you don't like me ♪
♪ You probably can't stand me ♪
♪ Girl give me that chocolate ♪
♪ As long as it ain't Candy ♪
♪ Oh that chocolate got nuts in it ♪
♪ That chocolate got nuts in it ♪
♪ I'm allergic to nuts ♪
(crowd laughs) (DC screams)
(bell dings)
(crowd applauds)
(crowd laughs) (soft music)
- Now, listen.
Are you're ready? - Yeah.
- Now look.
♪ I'm a gonna keep it simple. ♪
♪ I can't kill that cat in the intercontinental ♪
You get it?
♪ I'm going hard. ♪
♪ I went crazy the first movie about my car ♪
♪ The second movie I was wrong ♪
♪ I went crazy about my dog ♪
♪ Listen, I will go crazy about my dog ♪
(buzzer rings)
(crowd laughs)
ATL turn up!
- [Everyone] Turn up for what?
- Man, Mexican had done
ran in the back of my car yesterday, man.
- [Man] What?!
- It's all good.
I ain't call the police.
(Beep) ain't had no insurance!
(crowd laughs)
(crickets chirping)
- That was very irresponsible.
(crowd applauds)
- DC, let's go!
Young Fly, tell 'em how fly she is, Fly.
- My girl, Carly Ray, is so fly.
- [Everyone] How fly is she?
- She be like..
(DC hums)
(bell dings)
(crowd applauds)
I am Regina's thoughts,
I can't believe Cisco ordered them shoes.
(crowd laughs)
♪ He gotta take the shoes back back ♪
♪ Put them shoes 'cause they whack whack ♪
♪ All night long ♪
♪ Can't believe he worn them shoes ♪
♪ Baby ♪
(crowd cheers)
I am Sin Santana thought's.
Y'all know what time it is.
Lets go and get it over with!
Girl, your edges so dry they look like gummy worms.
(crowd laughs)
(bell dings)
Her edges like this.
- Okay, lets give the crowd what they came for.
Give me DeRay Davis,
here I need you here, DeRay.
(crowd cheers)
Give me DC Young Fly.
(crowd cheers)
- DC, if you don't get your
hookah pipe body shaped ass outta here.
Get the (beep) up outta here (beep).
- Boy, your ass look like every girl
when they take their lace front off.
Girl! (crowd laughs)
Look what it did to me!
- If you don't get your trembly with the tree chopped off
shoes wearing ass outta here.
DC, you got a tattoo of a fat you on your back ass (beep).
- How the hell you light skinned with a Mexican beard?
(crowd laughs)
That (beep) got the Lego chin, ugly ass.
(crowd laughs)
- Uh-uh, he was doing faces.
- You! - He doing faces!
He doing faces! - Out!
- [Everyone] Outta here!
- You hood rat fir wearing ass mother (beep).
- Let's get to it.
New school give me DC Young Fly.
I need you here.
(crowd cheers)
Old school, it's time to crack some heads.
Give me Head Crack. Okay.
On the roof!
- Boy, your ass sound like a youth pastor
but don't nobody come to your church, ugly ass.
We working on it.
I know I got two people in the congregation.
Matter of fact,
y'all can go home,
we gonna try again next Sunday.
- DC Young Fly is the Great Value Chris Tucker.
- Boy, if you don't get your toy soldier, boy,
we are the gorgonites lookin' ass.
(crowd laughs)
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Wait!
- You jumpin' Head Crack. Go. Let 'em, go.
- You sure?
- Let you jump my friend,
what you gonna say?
- Both of y'all look like y'all do these at home.
Uh-oh, Andy's coming.
(crowd laughs)
(bell dings)
- Give me Nessy. Nessy, I need you here.
Nessy, I need you here.
(crowd applauds)
Sorry.
Give me DC Young Fly. I need you here.
(crowd cheers)
- Girl, you're nose longer than Tar Boulevard.
(crowd laughs)
- For 33 cents a day,
y'all can sponsor this child.
- I ain't even gon' lie, boy,
your Chucks look tired as hell.
I thought they were socks. Ugly.
(crowd laughs)
- You out!
- [Everyone] Get outta here!
(bell dings)
- DC Young Fly, I need you here.
I want you here.
Let's go Fly!
Pretty Vee, I need you here.
Vee, are you ready?
- I am.
- I already know you're ready.
- Your ass built like a great dane, ugly ass.
(DC screams)
- DC, we built the same.
- I know.
That why we up here looking like two live germs,
ugly ass germs.
You built like an intestine, ugly ass.
- DC, shut up.
DC, you built like one of Nee aunt legs.
- Them ain't your eyebrows, is it?
Them yours?
- No.
- One shaky.
- Boy, if you don't get your auntie built lookin' ass.
(multiple cross talk)
- Get your ass outta here you took too long!
You out!
(hip hop music)
- (Nick raps) Hey. Hey. Hey, clap.
♪ What it is yo ♪
♪ What's up Old School 'bout to tear this bitch up ♪
♪ Hey yo, DC, I don't mean to be mean ♪
♪ But you look like the richest roach a (beep) ever seen ♪
♪ Before you speak ♪
♪ Your breath is is too strong ♪
♪ You just look like Chris Tucker ♪
♪ Who got left in to dryer it too long ♪
(crowd laughs) (bell dings)
- (DC raps) Okay. Okay.
♪ Listen New School 'bout to mother(beep) kill the Old ♪
♪ New School 'bout to mother(beep) kill that Old ♪
♪ New School 'bout to mother(beep) kill the Old ♪
♪ New School 'bout to ♪
♪ Listen look ♪
♪ New School New School ♪
♪ We the mother(beep) true school now ♪
♪ You already know that you might be rich ♪
♪ But how you rich, but yo ass can't keep a (beep) ♪
(crowd laughs)
- You right. You right.
- Aight, I'll talk to him. (Justina raps)
♪ Aw yo Deena I know you think you Liddy ♪
♪ But you need to change your name ♪
♪ 'Cause your V is for from pretty ♪
♪ And Santwon you really gotta stop it ♪
♪ Got this vest on ♪
♪ So you could keep a (beep) in both pocket. ♪
♪ DC, you know I want to kick it ♪
♪ Yo, ugly ass look like a deep fried cricket ♪
- (DC raps) Listen Justina,
♪ You don't want no drama, ♪
♪ But hey, y'all look at her pants ♪
♪ Don't just look like a dirty brochure to The Bahamas ♪
(buzzer rings) (Danger raps)
♪ My music's top 10 ♪
♪ And I just got me a Cole featured ♪
♪ DC, not getting a verse ♪
♪ And Nick Cannon, you either ♪
♪ And before I leave this beat ♪
♪ I don't like none of the shoes ♪
♪ That's on any y'all mother(beep) feet ♪
- [Everyone] What's up?
- He going crazy. (Nick raps)
♪ Yo he can't get a feature from that (beep) Moray ♪
♪ DC what you gotta say ♪
♪ He think your (beep) is way played ♪
♪ And Imma tell you like this ♪
♪ Imma a juicer matter of fact ♪
♪ You need to get in the gym like you used to ♪
(bell dings)
- Okay (beep)
(DC raps)
♪ Listen I'm in kitchen ♪
♪ Uh-huh just the ketchup ♪
♪ You already know ♪
♪ Uh-Uh don't get wet up ♪
♪ Listen, I ain't ketchup ♪
♪ Listen, I ain't mustard ♪
(Beep) I don't wanna do a verse with you
you fake (beep) Ruben Stoddart.
What's wrong with you?