Happy Cinco de Mayo.
[CHEERING]
If you don't know what that means, "cinco" of course
means "sink."
[LAUGHTER]
And "de" means "of."
And then the "mayo" is short for "mayonnaise."
[LAUGHTER]
So happy sink of mayonnaise everybody.
[APPLAUSE]
Sink-- oh yeah.
Cinco de Mayo, it's a wonderful day.
So I thought we would play a game before you get too drunk.
[LAUGHTER]
Because I'm sure you've already had
a margarita and the next thing you're
going to go to is tequila, and then more tequila,
and then you run out of tequila.
Yeah.
[CHEERING]
And you switched to vodka because you're out of tequila.
Next thing you know, you wake up with your head in a Sinko de
Mayo.
[LAUGHTER]
So this guy knows what I'm talking about, right.
Yeah.
[CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE]
Yep.
So we're going to play Five Second Rule
but, in honor of today, we're calling it Cinco Second Rule.
[MUSIC - CHER, "IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME"]
(SINGING) If I could turn back time.
If I could find a way.
I'd take back those words that have hurt you, you'd stay.
If I could reach those stars, I'd give them all to you.
Then--
It made me want to do that.
That's the first time I danced like that,
but it really got into me.
Normally, I play this with a celebrity,
but I thought I would divide the audience in half.
OK, let's divide them in half.
All right.
Now you know which side you're on.
And I'm going to have one person from each side
compete against each other.
And if you see your name on the screen, get down here.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHEERING]
Hello.
How are you?
How's it going?
How are you?
OK.
You are?
I'm Emily.
Hi, Emily.
Where do you live, what do you do?
I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana, and I'm
graduating from Indiana University this May.
Woo!
[APPLAUSE]
Sharon?
Hi.
Sharon?
Yes, Shirin.
Well, Shirin, where do you live, what you do?
I'm from Toronto, Canada.
[CHEERING]
And I work for one of our financial institutions there.
OK, which one?
CIBC.
I see.
You see?
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Wonderful.
OK, so this is--
you've seen Five Second Rule right?
Yeah.
So it's very, very easy, but it's Cinco Second Rule now.
But you'll have a category and you have to list three things.
Within five seconds, you have to hit this
as soon as you list the three things, it'll stop the clock.
OK?
OK.
Whoever wins for their side, the audience--
[CHEERING]
You don't even know what you're playing for.
It's OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
If you win for your side, or you win for your side,
that side will get tickets to next year's Cinco de Mayo show.
[CHEERING]
I'm kidding.
You're playing for a ticket to 12 Days of Giveaway.
[CHEERING]
All right everybody.
Let your representatives gather themselves.
So suddenly she's become very important to all of you.
She's become very important to all of you.
All right.
So obviously, you want to get three things in that category
and hit this and have time on the clock, so you get a point.
If not, you don't get a point and, all right.
And we're going to go side to side, OK?
We'll start here.
OK.
Name three things you're going to do for Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going to drink margaritas, I'm going to eat nachos,
and I'm going to party.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
Name three things you should not do on Cinco de Mayo.
Drink, party, and eat a lot of guac.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
OK.
I mean, you know.
So you people won't be hanging out.
[LAUGHTER]
It's OK, I got my people.
All right.
It's pretty cold in Toronto.
All right.
Name three Spanish words.
[BELL RINGS]
Oh!
Hola, uno, dos.
[BELL RINGS]
Hola, uno dos.
[LAUGHTER]
That's three.
OK.
That is.
But it's after.
Right, right.
But you still--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
I got a little ahead myself.
All right.
Name three countries that speak Spanish.
Spain, Portugal, and uh, uh, uh.
Oh, my God.
France!
[BELL RINGS]
They do!
They do.
Some of them.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
[BUZZER]
They serve pizza there.
There would be Mexico.
That would be one.
I guarantee you there are people that speak Spanish
in every single country.
Every country.
But--
That's OK.
Yeah.
All right.
But it's 2 to 1, right?
[CHEERING]
Name three holidays besides Cinco de Mayo.
Christmas, Easter, and Kwanzaa.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
You better catch up and hope she doesn't get anything.
Name three foods you find in a Mexican restaurant.
Tacos, espanadas, and guacamole and chips.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
All right.
I don't know if I said that correctly.
All right.
Name three things you like about me.
You're beautiful, you're funny, and you're nice.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
Too easy.
I mean, that was too easy.
That's not fair.
There's so many things, it was too easy.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, it was.
Name three things you like about Twitch.
He's a good dancer, he was on Dancing with the Stars,
and I mean, just look at him.
He's gorgeous.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
Name three different brands of beer.
Budweiser, Miller, and otherwise.
Wait, oh boy, no.
Yuengling.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
What was the last one?
Yuengling.
Yuengling?
Yeah.
[CHEERING]
Even people who don't drink are going, yeah!
All right.
Besides beer, name three different kinds of alcohol.
Tequila, vodka, gin.
Yes.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
This is tough.
Still 5 to 4.
Name three reasons you might laugh.
Looking at your humor, seeing someone fall down,
or [INAUDIBLE]
[BUZZER]
[BELL RINGS]
[WHOAS AND CHEERS]
[INAUDIBLE]
OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
All right.
So you have a chance to tie this.
Yep.
[CHEERING]
All right.
My special is called Relatable.
You said my humor, looking at my special
on Netflix called Relatable.
That's--
Right.
Next time you play.
All right.
Name three reasons you might cry.
You, my mom, my dad.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
Now it's tied.
[APPLAUSE]
Emily?
Yep.
Name three places you should not find a lover.
At a bar, in jail, or in an alleyway.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
A lot of people find love in jail,
and the alleyway is the only one I'm with you on.
But--
Yeah, that's a good one.
Alleyway.
[LAUGHTER]
Hey.
You come here often?
Name three things you should not call your lover.
The other person's name, Boo Boo, and Pinky.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
I couldn't think of anything else.
The other person's name, meaning?
Like the Tuesday night one?
You know.
Got to mix it up.
And Pinky because?
[LAUGHTER]
I couldn't think of [INAUDIBLE]
Oh, yeah baby.
Do it, Boo Boo.
[LAUGHTER]
It's still tied.
Name three things we would find in your car.
My wallet, my map, and my purse.
[BELL RINGS]
OK.
[CHEERING]
Took me a second there.
One last one.
OK.
This way, it could be tied or she loses.
Oh, God.
Three things we would find on your side table.
My Bible, my book, and my phone.
[BELL RINGS]
[CHEERING]
We only have enough for one.
So I get to pick?
Right.
You get to pick a side.
You have [INAUDIBLE]
[CHEERING]
Wait.
Wait, wait.
Wait.
Have a seat.
This is not going to be easy, but I'm
going to do this what I think is a fair way.
And be honest.
You have to be honest.
All right?
How many people on this side have seen my special Relatable
on Netflix?
[CHEERING]
All right.
How many people on this side have seen my special?
[CHEERING]
All right.
So the only fair thing to do is all of you are coming back.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC - ANDY WILLIAMS "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE
YEAR"]
(SINGING) It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings,
when friends come to call, it's the hap- happiest season
of all.