I'm not going away and you can't just say no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Alright, well you can.
I can't take it. I can't take this!
Want me to rub your shoulders?
- Down! - Ah!
[distant music and chatting]
No!
What street are we on?
Yeah, what street?
Let's just say it ain't Sesame Street.
I love Sesame Street.
♪ Sunny
Uh, no, no, no.
Hey, Tori. Hey, Tori's friend.
Yeah, I'm not really her friend.
- Hey, p-p-please. - I'm not with him.
Jade, listen, I read your play, and I think it's really good.
I'm not your friend.
Well.
But Jade can be so much fun.
- Not now! - Sorry, Jade.
This is hopeless.
Um-hmm.
The only way to get some guy to ask out Jade on a date...
is if you pay 'em.
Pay him? Like... money?
I'm talking about money.
Sinjin!
Fix this monitor before I make a necklace
out of your ears!
A lot of money.
Okay.
Great. So, the plan-- Cat! [screaming]
No shoving bush peas in your pockets!
Beck was up all night tweeting hot pics of himself.
So he got 200 more followers,
and there is no way I'm gonna let him
have more followers than I have.
Why not?
'Cause I am prettier than he is!
Are you?
Follow me!
[giggling] Yay!
Cupcake batter!
[giggling] Whoo!
[giggling] Hey, Cat.
- Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat. - Yeah?
You're killing me!
[slurping]
[slurping] No!
[slurping]
What should I get, Trina?
Talent.
[sighing] Jade is so pretty.
Three, two, one.
Does anyone have a good idea about a present for Trina?
You people give me a rash.
[music playing]
[sighing]
- Let's just tell her. - No!
I took the wrong bus.
Well, you know what happens
to little girls with asthma who take the wrong bus?
- No. - They get a face full of door!
What does that mean?
Little grunch.
Need some help?
- Yes. - Interesting.
Have any of you seen Tori and Andre?!
[distant chattering]
Have any of you seen Tori and Andre?!
- Jade! - Where's Tori and Andre?!
- Where are you going? - Anywhere else.
[playing keyboard]
Okay.
Do this and that's for you.
Uh, why are you walking so funny?
'Cause my thighs hurt from squatting.
Oh. You want some thigh cream?
No.
Just let me be in it.
- Get out. - Trina.
I don't even want to be in it.
Oh!
Your sister just elbowed me in my lung!
- I'll get you some ice. - Sit down!
Robbie, would you please unplug that cord,
count to three and then plug it back in?
Surely girly.
One, I love Grandma.
- Two, I love Grandma. - Plug it in!
[distant music playing]
Um, I-I think you look nice with no eyebrows.
Jade, I just want to say I really appreciate
you having lunch with us.
And... thank you, Andre and Beck
for handcuffing Jade to the table.
No problem.
[screaming]
You are wearing this to the cow-wow.
Okay.
What, you don't like it?
- I-I said, "Okay." - You barely even looked at it.
I just-- I don't--
This is the first social event
at the school were going to
- since we got back together. - 'Kay.
You wanna know what I'm gonna wear?
Ah.
I'm gonna wear a Hawaiian skirt,
a black western top and a cowboy hat.
- That sounds great. - What is wrong with you?!
♪ La da ♪
♪ La la la la la la la ♪
[clicking]
Okay, that sounds horrible.
I can't hear myself in the monitor.
Turn me up a little.
Sure.
I would love to turn you up a little.
[laughing]
Just turn my voice, you mop-headed freak!
This one's called Kentucky red moss
- and this one comes-- - Go!
You know, he's only trying to make your play better.
So?
So now he's got pee running down his leg.
I'm not responsible for Sinjin's bladder control
or lack of it.
What? What are you gonna tell me?
That someone already posted the video of me online?
No. [sighing]
About 50 people have posted online.
- Eh. - Can we watch anything else?
You don't like Celebrities Underwater?
No, because they make you think that the celebrities
are going to drown, but then they never do!
What's your problem?
Do you know what they're showing live right now
- on funnydanger.com? - What?
A roller coaster got stuck at Mystic Mountain,
and there's an old lady hanging upside down from it.
Oh my gosh, is it someone you know?
No, it's someone I want to laugh at.
- Oh, hey, Jade, Jade. - Can't talk.
Jade, wait up. Wait up. Wait up.
What?!
She scares me.
Jade scares you?
She scares everybody.
I am gonna kill him!
Oh.
- What happened? - Sinjin sat on my new scissors.
Okay, calm down.
I'm not gonna calm down! They're bent!
They've lost their sciss! [grunting]
You kids have fun.
Do you wanna do something fun with me tomorrow night?
Sure. What?
I don't know. I figured you'd pick
- 'cause you're bossy. - Don't say I'm bossy!
Okay.
But ya are... lil bit.
Which boots should I wear, black or brown?
- Brown. - Just make a decision!
Show me your phones, right now!
- Hey, what's your name? - Pepper.
Do you follow me on the Slap?
- No, I-I-- - Why not?!
- I just moved here. - Okay.
Well, whip out your phone and follow me on the Slap.
Okay, okay.
[beeping]
All of you right now!
I will, I will.
So, you're scaring people into following you?
I'm gently suggesting that they follow me.
Hey!
- Do you follow me on the Slap? - Uh-uh.
Follow me!
Thank God it's you.
We thought you would were Jade.
- You want me to go get her? - No!
What's up with you guys?
[sighing] Well, Andre and I were trying--
I got dragged into this.
It was your idea to pay a guy.
No, you came to me and I--
- Hey! - No!
Yeah, I should've told ya,
this is a bad place to hide from Jade.
Hey.
What?
Does it worry you that you never sweat?
No.
But what if one day all your sweat,
like builds up inside and you just explode?
I would love that.
- Can I get up now? - No!