-Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "The Tonight Show."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Very special, very special episode.
You guys, I'm excited about this.
Yankees superstar Aaron Judge is on the show tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
We love Aaron Judge. Of course, Aaron is so kind.
Backstage I asked for a selfie,
and he was nice enough to pick me up for the photo.
-Aww. -I thought that was cool.
Last season, Aaron hit 62 home runs,
surpassing players like Roger Maris and Babe Ruth.
And here's a fun stat.
Between the three men, Biden's met them all.
[ Laughter ]
Let's get to some news here.
On Friday, the FBI spent 13 hours searching
President Biden's house in Wilmington, Delaware,
and they found more classified documents.
You know what? At this point, just let us know
when you stop finding them. You know what I'm saying?
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, as if the documents weren't crazy enough, they also
found the script for the last season of "Stranger Things."
Ooh. How is he getting all this?
The Justice Department also took handwritten notes
from when Biden was vice president.
One was a piece of paper addressed to Obama that just
said, "Do you like me? Check yes or no."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wow. -It's crazy.
First Trump, now Biden.
Today, just to be safe, Obama burned his house down.
He's like -- [ Laughter ]
It's interesting how Biden and Trump have handled
their situations differently.
Biden has new documents found every week, while Trump went for
the Netflix style -- binge all at once release.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it's not a good look for Biden.
And now even top Democrats are criticizing him for his handling
of classified documents, calling him irresponsible and saying
that he should be embarrassed.
Yeah, they're really piling on.
Here, check out what some other Democrats had to say.
First up, Senator Cory Booker said...
Then Senator John Fetterman said...
[ Laughter ]
And Senator Bernie Sanders said...
And Senator Jon Tester said...
Senator Tom Carper said...
[ Laughter ]
And Senator Joe Manchin said...
So Senator Jon Ossoff said...
And finally, Senator Cory Booker said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Everyone's got something to say.
Some more news from Washington.
This weekend the news broke that Biden's chief of staff
Ron Klain is stepping down.
Yep. Klain said, "Look, I hate leaving you with such a mess,
but I will anyway."
[ Laughter ]
Of course, being Biden's chief of staff is a tough job.
You have to be able to write and speak in size 72 font.
[ Laughter ]
"Your tie is croo-- Oh, forget it."
[ Laughter ]
At first it was unclear who was stepping down
because Biden calls everyone chief.
[ Laughter ]
"Hey, chief."
Well, get this. TikTok just confirmed that some
of its employees have the power to decide which videos go viral.
[ Audience oohs ] Yeah, it's crazy.
So, basically employees make the decision
that this should not go viral.
-So, one thing that people have asked if I've tried
quite a lot is boba.
-But this should go viral.
-Poke a hole in it.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-What? -Here's another example.
Employees decided that this should not go viral.
-Whoo!
[ Audience ohs ]
-But this should.
-Us teachers would never ask you students
to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves.
[ Groans ] [ Laughter and applause ]
[ Rimshot ]
-Wow. Wow. -Wow.
-That's right. They didn't think that this should go viral.
But they thought that this should.
-And his name is John Cena!
[ Laughter and applause ]
-And finally, they decided this should not go viral.
But this should.
[ Audience oohs ] [ Applause ]
Interesting choices.
[ Laughter and applause ]
We would never do --
Switching gears, Buckingham Palace has revealed
the details of King Charles' coronation, which will include
three days of celebrations.
I just hope all this partying doesn't leave him too exhausted
to not do any work the next day.
[ Laughter ]
I also saw that the coronation
will also break away from tradition.
Yeah, apparently when Charles steps onto the palace balcony,
he's going to toss Mardi Gras beads.
[ Laughter ]
Well, people are talking about this.
On Saturday at a resort in Dubai, Beyoncé performed
her first full concert in four years
and was reportedly paid $24 million for the hour-long show.
[ Audience oohs ]
$24 million for a one-hour performance.
Even Aaron Judge was like, "Damn, that is a lot of money!"
Hey, this is exciting.
Tomorrow the Oscar nominations will be announced.
And yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
And apparently, "Top Gun: Maverick" is expected to be
nominated for Best Picture, marking the first time in
a decade people have said, "Oh, my God, I've seen one."
[ Laughter ]
Some more entertainment news --
the new season of "The Bachelor" kicks off tonight.
[ Cheering ]
It's actually the most shocking season ever because they find
classified documents in the fantasy suite.
[ Laughter ] I don't know.
That's what I'm hearing.
Well, listen to this. The president of Ireland has
called on schools to stop giving homework so kids can use
their free time for other creative things.
-Ooh.
-That story again -- the president of Ireland is
apparently my 9-year-old daughter.
[ Laughter ]
Candy for dinner!
Did you guys see this?
I read that the world's worst McDonald's, which police were
called to more than 800 times in one year,
is permanently closing.
On the bright side, they just changed the sign,
and now it's the world's best Waffle House.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
And finally, have you guys noticed
that when you start typing something on Google,
it automatically tries to complete the search for you?
It autofills what you're looking for?
Sometimes their suggestions are a little off.
I'll show you what I mean. It's time for Google Autofails.
-♪ Google autofails ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-Just look at what I did today.
I typed in "How did Yellowstone..."
and these three things popped up.
"season 4 end?"
"get so popular?"
"convince my dad to start dressing
like Woody from Toy Story?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
He works in an office!
Here's another one.
I typed in "Why is Joe Burrow..."
It said "so good,"
"number 9,"
"in my wife's search history?"
[ Applause ]
-Wait, what?
-Next up, I typed in,
"How to return" and it said,
"a package to Amazon,"
"cable equipment to Spectrum,"
"Prince Harry to England."
[ Applause ]
They --
-That's not you. That's an autofill.
-After that, I typed in,
"Why can't I sleep?" and it said,
"through the night,"
"on my back,"
"without scrolling through TikTok for three hours first?"
"I'll just check it, just real quick.
I'll just --" Pretty good.
Next up, I typed in "Whatever happened to..."
it said "Amelia Earhart,"
"Susan Boyle,"
"Predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV."
[ Applause ]
After that, I typed in
"How to survive..."
It said "a tornado,"
"a hurricane,"
"a fight in the bathroom with Marjorie Taylor Greene?"
[ Applause ]
I don't know. How do you do it?
Next up, I typed in
"Why do the Girl Scouts..." and it said,
"sell cookies?"
"wear sashes?"
"guard the entrance to the grocery store
like they're the National Guard?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
You going somewhere?
[ Applause ]
And finally, I typed in,
"Am I the only one without..."
and it said, "a 401k?"
"a car?"
"classified documents in my garage?"
That's all for Google Autofails.