- Hey, I'm Jai! - And I'm Rebecca!
And we've been married for 3 years.
We're also about to be parents for the very first time.
We don't know if it's going to be a boy...
Or a girl...
It doesn't really matter as long as it's healthy.
You see, 10 years ago I broke my neck...
...and now I'm in a wheelchair with limited body function.
So you're probably wondering...
...how on earth I could get my wife pregnant.
We weren't sure how it was all going to work..
So we just went ahead and gave it a bash.
And here we are!
Narrator: Well, that's one way of putting it.
Two years ago, Jai and Becks started trying for a baby.
Because of Jai's spinal cord injury, they had no idea if it was possible.
Would they be able to conceive without help?
Was Jai's sperm any good?
I get asked a lot as I'm sure Jai does...
...whether a guy with a spinal cord injury...
..can even have sex...
..let alone slip one past the goalie!
So, it's time to put the hard questions to Jai.
I'm going in!
After my injury, a lot of things were affected...
...as well as outside physical things, you can see...
A lot of internal functions will never be the same again.
Never asked the question after my injury...
'Am I still going to be able to have kids?'
Or: 'Am I still going to be able to ejaculate?'
Most patients who have spinal injuries...
...have two hurdles that they come across...
...if they want to have a family.
Firstly: to be able to ejaculate. And most men can't...
...ejaculate naturally.
And secondly: the quality of the sperm is normally affected..
...by the spinal injury. And that's normally low.
And having a good sperm count and good quality of sperm...
..is very important for being able to have a family.
Narrator: The odds were stacked against them.
Finding a way to become parents would require...
...some 21st century science.
IVF was one.
Then Dr Tuckey mentioned the FertiCare vibrator...
And we were like: 'How does that work?'
And he said it was a more natural way...
...than having IVF with all the drugs...
...and tests that you have to have.
Yeah, we did our own research on it..
And he kind of suggested...
...to search online.
We found a supplier in the US, e-mailed them...
And within two weeks it arrived.
No instructions!
It did have a little manual...
The little manual was like.. - Little diagrams!
We didn't know what we were doing...
We just went ahead and tried!
The first option is to try something simple...
...for people who can't ejaculate.
To try a FertiCare vibrator.
It stimulates the reflex ejaculation pathways...
...in the body.
And some people can ejaculate with that.
They can. And it's very simple.
Narrator: IVF would have cost about $10,000.
This supercharged vibrator, designed to...
...kickstart Jai's system cost $1,500.
It's pretty high-powered stuff!
It's charged off the mains.
It's not battery-powered or anything!
It's pretty scary stuff!
This is the pad that's supposed to come in contact...
...with my man bits!
The diagram doesn't show you where it's supposed to go...
So there's a bit of experimentation!
You know, I don't have fine finger motion.
I can't move my fingers or my thumbs..
So I really had to push my thumb along it.
Like that! Serious noise!
[Loud vibrator noise]
You hear that noise and you think...
'I'm not putting that thing anywhere near me!'
[Laughs]
It's not romantic either!
No, no, no!
Narrator: The use of the FertiCare technology...
...certainly gave his body a jolt!
But it produced blood, not semen!
The next day I rang the urologist and...
..asked him: 'Look, I spent half the night in A&E, bleeding!
He goes: 'Um, how long since the last time...
...you ejaculated?'
And I said: '8 years.'
And he said: 'Yeah, that's going to happen!'
But Dr Tuckey said: 'Just give it another go...'
'See what happens!'
He said it'd settle down. And sure enough...
The next time I tried it was awesome!
Things worked really well.
We were feeling confident.
My part in it when he was using that...
I'd have to catch it in a little cup..
And we'd use a syringe. A sterilized syringe.
And it was quite funny.
I was talking to my hairdresser about it...
..And she said: 'It's like turkey basting!'
So I said: 'Yeah, it is a bit, isn't it?'
[She laughs]
Yeah, yeah!
Narrator: The odds against achieving pregnancy were huge.
Yet it took just three attempts before the magical...
...positive result showed on the pregnancy test.
You've done the test, you'd worked it out...
And you looked at it and I saw your face...
And you were like: 'That looks like a plus!'
You came back into the bedroom and you were all quiet.
And then I went to go to the toilet.
And I just went to go and wash my hands..
And I looked down.
And of course, here's the pee test on the sink...
And I saw the plus!
I was like: 'It's very faint'
And you said 'Yeah, it's very faint.'
'But I still think there is a plus!'
Yeah.
'It's a plus, it's a plus!'
[She laughs]
And then you started crying.
And yeah, there were hugs!
Narrator: Forty weeks later after a textbook pregnancy...
..this baby is ready to be born!
The baby's breach, so Becks is having a Caesarean.
Baby's coming now! Yay!
Congratulations! - Oh my god!
[Baby cries]
Narrator: Emily Rose Waite weighed in at 3.2kg
[Baby cries]
Narrator: It's 6:30am and the Waite household is awake
..thanks to Emily!
Hello Emily!
Narrator: Becks is on bedrest after her Caesarean...
..so Jai's straight in there attending to his baby girl.
Jai has little hand and wrist function.
But he's determined to be a hands-on dad.
Jai: Getting her out of the cot, came about more so...
Because about that same time Becks couldn't get her out.
You know, pick her up.
It was after that I had to think to myself...
Now's the best time to learn!
[Inaudible]
Jai: And at the same time Emily's had to learn...
..to adjust to my ability as well.
To start with, the first couple of times...
The way I get her out is kind of...
...just scooping her up!
And I have to lift her right up and put her by my head.
And she goes a bit upside down!
And the first couple of times she was like..
[Makes distressed noise]
..freaking out a bit about it.
Yeah!
Jai: And now she's just relaxed into it.
She just knows that's the way.
And just when I'm carrying her in general.
She just knows.
She'll just sit on my lap. She won't wiggle around.
Because she knows that... subconsciously knows..
..that if she wiggles she'll be on the ground!
Hey Emily, you want out?
Yeah!
What's that?
Hey, hey!
Oi! You going to smile?
Narrator: A few years back Becks was Jai's main caregiver.
Now Sheree calls by each morning specifically to assist Jai.
Jai, your breakfast is ready!
Good girl, hey!
Cheers, Sheree!
When Sheree comes in the morning...
...depending on what Emily's doing...
...whether she's awake or asleep.
If she's asleep I'll be straight in the shower...
If it's a bowel morning, do a bowel routine..
..then it's straight in the shower.
But during that time, as well...
...she's hanging out washing, vacuuming, doing the floors.
So, we consider that as 'me' doing the vacuuming..
...hanging out the washing.
So, to Rebecca it feels like I'm doing my part, housework-wise!
So, without that support it'd be so much harder.
About that? - Yeah, that's perfect, thanks!
Morning! - Morning!
Did you even hear her wake up?
No, I didn't!
[Inaudible]
Jai: I think my fear was for Rebecca.
There's a lot of pressure on moms.
It's so tiresome for them.
It's very hard.
She has to get up, early hours of the morning.
One of my major fears was that she was...
...going to get run down.
As a disabled parent, there's not a lot I can do..
...when it came to changing nappies...
...dressing her, and that kind of stuff.
And bathing...
And so, a lot of care and responsibility falls on Rebecca.
So if she goes down, I can't do a lot.
So my biggest fear was that Rebecca wasn't going to cope..
But she's been so fantastic. She's the best mom.
I can't...yeah...
And I'll just try and do things I can.
Jai, he's got an incomplete injury which is good...
But if he had a complete injury, he would have very little hand movement.
Which would make it difficult, in his situation, with a baby.
..to cuddle it and changing nappies..
...and do all those sorts of things.
Or even to play with a rattle or with a ball or whatever...
For people who have an injury below the cervical spine..
...they have full hand movement.
And they can have trunk movement as well.
Just depending on the level.
So they're that much better-equipped..
...to deal with the routine tasks of daily life.
Narrator: She's only been up for a few hours...
..but Emily's already off for her first nap of the day.
Her parents have quickly learned to make the most of this window
..to crack into their own tasks.
[Speedy music plays]
Narrator: Emily's awake and hungry!
[Emily cries]
Jai's rigged his wheelchair to take a baby carrier.
It's a bassanet modified by a mate..
..who also uses a wheelchair and is a dad.
[Emily cries]
Emily! Hey! What's all the noise!
The first three days in that maternity ward.
I would just chuck her in that and cruise around!
I was the star of the ward!
Because no-one had seen...
1. A guy in a wheelchair with a baby...
And 2. There I am, cruising around with a baby..
..asleep on my lap.
And safely!
[Emily cries]
You're ok!
Stinky nappy! Yeah!
[Emily cries]
Stinky nappy!
- Shall we change her nappy?
Yeah let's change her nappy.
Well, if he didn't have the carrier...
...he wouldn't be able to hold her much.
Because once she's on his lap he has to stay there.
Because he has to hold her...
...he can't push.
Until she can sit there on her own and not fall off.
Yeah, now I can just cruise around the house..
..with her and, yeah, she's happy hanging out.
Yeah.
Oh, what's this one?
Jai: it's pretty cool coming home from work...
...and seeing mom and daughter come home..
And I can just hang out with them both.
Just chill out on the couch.
And she sits on my lap.
I read her a story or just cuddle time, I guess!
Once upon a spring day in South Melbourne...
...unicorn Rose and I shared some magic...
Jai: She's started to smile as well and that's really cool.
She's a bit more interactive now!
We laughed and continued on!
Can you look at the picture?
Are you too busy tasting your hand?
Narrator: Like most new parents, life has become about the simple things.
Like walks in the park.
It takes Jai that little bit longer to do things.
But the ladies in the Waite household are very patient!
You can see the look on people's faces, when you go out.
They're kind of inquisitive.
And you can see them wondering...
And I kind of have it in the back of my mind..
Thinking, they must think: 'I wonder if that kid's actually his.'
[Laughs]
And I'm guessing this program will probably answer...
...one or two of those questions!
[Laughs]
They must wonder what... how it all works.
You know?
Wonder how functionally, I operate as a father!
Jai: I'm just lucky that Emily's got a fantastic mom..
..that does such a brilliant job.
Jai: I guess the world's changing, you know.
It's adapting a lot more...
..for disablists like myself.
And people are getting a bit more accepting.
Feels like a huge weight of responsibility on my shoulders.
Yeah, but, you know..
It's just taking it as it comes, you know.
I think it's just a case of being a mentor...
..to a little person.
And hopefully I can be a good dad!