A NEW STUDY INDICATES THAT HAVING CHILDREN COULD BE
MORE DISASTROUS TO YOUR LIFE THAN DIVORCE OR UNEMPLOYMENT.
THIS WAS A STUDY THAT RELIED ON SURVEYS WHERE PEOPLE
ANSWERED QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR LIVES BEFORE HAVING
CHILDREN, AND THEN AFTER HAVING CHILDREN.
IT WAS PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL DEMOGRAPHY.
WHAT THEY FOUND WAS, "THE EFFECT OF A NEW BABY ON A PERSON'S
LIFE IN THE FIRST YEAR IS DEVASTATINGLY BAD ñ
WORSE THAN DIVORCE, WORSE THAN UNEMPLOYMENT AND WORSE EVEN
THAN THE DEATH OF A PARTNER."
ALL RIGHT, SO, REMEMBER, THIS IS BASED ON SELF REPORTING.
THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED THE STRENGTH OF THE STUDY, OR
EVEN A LIMITATION OF THE STUDY.
I THINK THAT USUALLY WHEN PEOPLE ARE RESPONDING TO SURVEY
QUESTIONS, THEY WANT TO RESPOND IN A WAY THAT IS FAVORABLE
TO THEM AND THEIR IMAGE.
IN THIS CASE, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.
THE RESEARCHERS FOLLOWED 20
MEN AND WOMEN WHO WERE CHILDLESS AT THE TIME OF THE START OF THE STUDY, UNTIL AT
LEAST TWO YEARS AFTER THE BIRTH OF THEIR FIRST CHILD.
RESPONDERS WERE ASKED TO RATE THEIR HAPPINESS FROM 0 TO 10.
IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION, HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU WITH YOUR
LIFE, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED?
KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS TOOK PLACE IN GERMANY, WHICH HAS A
LOT MORE ñ
>> PORN.
SORRY, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.
>> YES, BUT ALSO HAS A LOT MORE SUPPORT FOR NEW PARENTS.
THEY HAVE FOURTEEN WEEKS GUARANTEED PAID MATERNITY LEAVE.
THE RESULTS MAY BE DIFFERENT IN THE U.S., BUT FOR THE WORSE.
>> BEFORE WE GET INTO THE EXACT NUMBERS, BECAUSE THE DEPTH
OF HOW MUCH A BABY SCREWS UP YOUR LIFE IS APPARENTLY
FASCINATING, I LIKE THE WAY THEY DID THIS STUDY.
THEY DID NOT ASK ABOUT THE KID SPECIFICALLY, THEY ASKED
ABOUT THE PARENT'S LIFE, IN GENERAL.
>> THERE IS A STIGMA ABOUT SOMEONE SAYING THAT THEIR CHILD
IS MAKING A LIFE MISERABLE.
>> THEY WERE JUST ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION HERE.
>> THAT COULD MEAN THAT THERE ARE OTHER FACTORS THAT ARE
IMPACTING THEIR LIFE.
>> BUT THE NUMBERS ARE SIGNIFICANT, SO IT WOULD BE
A HELL OF A COINCIDENCE.
THE DOWNSIDE OF THIS STUDY IS THAT IT IS HELD IN GERMANY,
AND THE GERMANS ARE NOTORIOUSLY ANTI-CHILDREN.
SERIOUSLY, THEIR RATE IS ABOUT ONE AND A HALF KIDS, WHICH
IS LOWER THAN A LOT OF OTHER COUNTRIES.
KEEP THAT IN MIND, IT MIGHT BE THAT THAT ALSO AFFECTS THE
RESULTS.
YOU MAY GET DIFFERENT RESULTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
IN JAPAN IT MIGHT BE EVEN WORSE.
HAVING SAID THAT ñ
>> IF YOU LOOK AT THIS GRAPH, YOU WILL SEE VARIOUS ISSUES
LIKE DIVORCE, UNEMPLOYMENT, DEATH OF A PARTNER, THEN
BIRTH OF A FIRST CHILD.
YOU SEE THE NEGATIVE IMPACT THAT ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE ON
SOMEONE'S HAPPINESS.
BIRTH OF A FIRST CHILD WILL TAKE YOU FROM A ZERO TO A -1.6.
THIS IS ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10.
>> THIS IS THE EFFECT OF COURSE.
I WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND, ONCE THE KID IS BORN IT'S
NOT LIKE, I WENT FROM A FOUR TO A -1.6.
THIS COST THEM -1.6 POINTS OF HAPPINESS.
FOR EXAMPLE, HAVING NO JOB, OR LOSING YOUR PARTNER TAKES
AWAY A POINT.
SO IF YOU WERE AT A SEVEN HAPPINESS, YOU ARE NOW AT A
SIX IN HAPPINESS.
>> ALL RIGHT, I THINK THAT PART IS CONFUSING, BECAUSE
IT SAYS THAT IT IS A SCALE FROM 0 TO 10.
>> THEY ARE SHOWING YOU THE SCALE OF WHAT HAPPENS
BECAUSE OF THESE EVENTS.
SO IF YOU GET A RAISE, YOU MIGHT GET A PUMP UP OF 8.2 OR 8.4
FROM WHEREVER YOU WERE BEFORE THE EVENT.
>> OKAY, THAT PART I MISSED.
ABOUT THIRTY PERCENT REMAINED AT THE SAME STATE OF HAPPINESS
OR BETTER ONCE THEY HAD THE BABY, ACCORDING TO THE
SELF-REPORTED MEASURES OF WELL-BEING.
THE REST SAID THEIR HAPPINESS DECREASED DURING THE FIRST
AND SECOND YEAR AFTER THE BIRTH.
OF THOSE NEW MOTHERS AND FATHERS, WHOSE HAPPINESS
WENT DOWN, THIRTY-SEVEN PERCENT REPORTED A ONE UNIT DROP,
NINETY PERCENT REPORTED A TWO UNIT DROP, AND SEVENTEEN
PERCENT A THREE UNIT DROP.
>> IMAGINE YOU'RE LIKE, YOU'RE HANGING IN THERE, YOU'RE
DOING WELL, YOU'RE A 6.
THINGS ARENíT TOO WELL, BUT YOUíRE RELATIVELY HAPPY.
A THREE POINT DROP, ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE AT A THREE OUT OF
TEN, YOU'RE LIKE, MY LIFE SUCKS.
THESE ARE BIG PROBLEMS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU SEE
THEM IN THE CONTEXT OF OTHER DRAMATIC EVENTS, AND HOW
THEY DID NOT HAVE AS LARGE AN EFFECT.
>> YES, AND SO, IF YOU PUT YOUR BIOLOGICAL IMPULSES ASIDE,
AND YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHALLENGES OF CHILD
REARING, YOU REALIZE THAT THIS ACTUALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.
RAISING CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY IN THE FIRST FEW YEARS, IS
EXTREMELY DIFFICULT.
YOU LOSE YOUR IDENTITY, YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BECOMES ABOUT
THE CHILD, YOU ARE NO LONGER AN INDEPENDENT PERSON.
YOUR HAPPINESS IS DEPENDENT ON THE HAPPINESS OF ANOTHER PERSON.
IT IS SCARY, AND IT IS COSTLY AND STRESSFUL, YOU DON'T
GET ANY SLEEP, YOU ARE EXHAUSTED, IT HAS AN IMPACT
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
NOW I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN.
I LIKE EVIDENCE-BASED DECISION-MAKING, AND THIS HAS
LED ME TO DECIDE THAT CHILDREN IS NOT THE ANSWER FOR ME.
>> I LIKE THAT YOU MAKE FACT-BASED DECISIONS, BUT
LET'S KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH GRAIN OF SALT.
THIS IS THE FIRST YEAR AFTER THE CHILD, WHICH IS THE HARDEST
YEAR.
YOU HAVE AN ENORMOUS CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE, WHERE YOU ARE NO
LONGER AS INDEPENDENT AND YOU CAN'T JUST GO TO A BAR, OR
EVEN SOMETHING AS MUNDANE AS GROCERY SHOPPING.
YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THE LOGISTICS OF THAT, HOW TO
GET THE KID IN THE CAR, REMEMBER TO BRING THE DIAPERS, YOUR
LIFE GETS SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED.
AT THE END OF THAT YEAR, YOU GET THAT SURVEY, YOU'RE
PROBABLY GOING TO SAY THAT THINGS ARE PRETTY ROUGH.
THAT'S
NATURAL.
WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER FIVE YEARS OUT?
TEN YEARS OUT?
>> THEN THEY ARE TEENAGERS AND YOU ARE MISERABLE AGAIN.
>> FAIR ENOUGH, BUT THOSE ARE ALL DIFFERENT THINGS.
THERE IS A SHORT-TERM IMPACT OF BEING TIRED THAT DAY, AND
THE LONG-TERM IMPACT OF HAVING A KID, AND THAT BEING A
FASCINATING, AND IN MY OPINION A WONDERFUL HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
IT ALSO DEPENDS ON HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT.
IF YOU BECOME AN ANCHOR PARENT, OR A HELICOPTER PARENT,
AND YOU WRAP YOURSELF AROUND THE LEG OF YOUR KID AND
WILL NOT LET GO AND YOU CANNOT LIVE YOUR LIFE, YES, IT
MIGHT MAKE YOU MORE MISERABLE.
IT'S OKAY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR OWN IDENTITY,
ALTHOUGH IT DOES CHANGE.
THAT IS WHY I THINK IT IS A SUPER INTERESTING STUDY,
AND ONE WORTH CONSIDERING.
THE LITTLE FLOWERY THING ABOUT, CHILDREN ARE GOD'S BLESSING
AMONG US, AND EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE KIDS ñ
>> THAT IS THE SOCIETY THAT WE LIVE IN.
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE IF YOU MAKE A CONSCIOUS
DECISION TO NOT HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE IT IS NOT RIGHT FOR
YOU, YOU ARE BERATED BY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO HAVE CHILDREN.
YOUR SELFISH, YOU'RE ONLY THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF,
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO DURING THE HOLIDAYS, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO WHEN YOU ARE SICK?
THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT PEOPLE GET CRITICIZED FOR ñ
>> IN OTHER WORDS, ANA GETS CRITICIZED FOR.
I AM WITH YOU GUYS, THE SOCIETY PRESSURE IS RIDICULOUS.
IT'S NOT LIKE IF I DON'T HAVE KIDS I'M GOING TO BE THIS
SICK OLD PERSON IN A BED WITH NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, I'M GOING TO HAVE AS MUCH FUN
AS I CAN WITH MY LIFE.
IF YOU HAVE KIDS, WHAT'S YOUR LIFE
WORTH?
MY LIFE IS WITH ME.
I WOULD ARGUE IN A LOT OF WAYS THAT IT IS SELFISH TO HAVE KIDS.
>> BECAUSE YOU WANT TO PASS DOWN YOUR ñ
>> GENES, AND YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR THOUGHTS AND HOPES AND
DREAMS INTO THE KIDS.
THERE IS SO MUCH SELFISH ABOUT HAVING
KIDS, AND I LOVE MY KIDS, BUT TO ME, ìYOUR ONLY CONCERN ABOUT
YOURSELFî?
SO WHAT?
SO ARE YOU, YOU'RE JUST LYING ABOUT IT.
SO
I AM NOT CONVINCED BY ANY OF IT, BUT I AM ALSO NOT CONVINCED BY
THIS STUDY, BECAUSE IT IS JUST
THE FIRST YEAR.
TO ME, HAVING KIDS HAS BEEN AN AWESOME,
WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.
IT HAS
HELPED ME TO LIVE LIFE FULLER, AND EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND I
LOOK AT THOSE KIDS AND I FEEL
ECSTATIC ABOUT IT.
SO, DON'T JUST JUDGE IT BY ONE STUDY,
DON'T JUDGE IT BY SOCIETY'S PRESSURES, EITHER.
THE REALITY
IS, THERE IS A TON OF INTANGIBLE BENEFITS TO KIDS, AND NOT JUST
WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND NEED SOMEONE
TO BRING YOU SOUP.
>> WE DID WANT TO ASK YOU GUYS ABOUT IT, WE HAVE A TYT PULL UP
ON THE TYT APP.
" A RECENT STUDY SAYS THE FIRST YEAR WITH A
CHILD CAUSES PARENTS MORE UNHAPPINESS THAN A DIVORCE.
HOW
WAS THE FIRST YEAR WITH YOUR
CHILD?"
I LOVE THIS, SIXTY-FOUR PERCENT SAID HAPPY, THIRTY-SIX
PERCENT SAID UNHAPPY.
DAMN,
HONESTY.
>> THE TYT AUDIENCE IS THE MOST HONEST AUDIENCE IN THE WORLD.