good morning John so honestly I just
can't right now so instead I'm going to
indulge in three things I like a lot
home soda carbonation Mars and pedantic
over-analysis SodaStream add a Superbowl
commercial and what am i top like five
SodaStream commercials you might think
I'm kidding but no number one is
definitely this one from the 90s it's so
never really settled on a jingle
during those years but they really stuck
with get busy with the fizzy like for
decades which is a little baffling
considering that like I will do a lot
with the fizzy but I tend to not get
busy with it but anyway Super Bowl
commercial Mars SodaStream I got to talk
about it right especially because I
think there are some teaching moments
here shot number one establishing shot
from Mars drone cam two shot number two
our astronauts on Mars shot number three
they're excited about something shot
number four shot number five it's water
on Mars yeah I'm gonna have some
problems with this there's enough
confusion already about the water
situation REE Mars we're not I probably
never gonna find liquid water on Mars
it's like physically impossible for
there to be liquid water on Mars the
temperature is too low for it to be
liquid if it was not because the
pressure is so low there it would
immediately evaporate into a gas into
the atmosphere you might have heard of
these like streaks that appear on the
side of very steep mountains those might
be kind of flowing water but they're
seeping through soil there also if they
exist
extremely saline so they've got a bunch
of salts in them not like table salt
like perchlorate salts which are super
toxic shot number six we're at Mission
Control which is a very quick shot but I
have a lot to say about erst
there are no NASA logos here which is a
little confusing to me is this a SpaceX
thing more important to me though on
this beautiful wall of HD images
livestream from the surface of Mars on
the bottom right hand corner there's a
picture of Earth and I zoomed into that
picture of Earth and there's a little
caption and it says Great Pacific
plastic patch look ocean plastic is a
big deal but not like we're just gonna
keep an eye on it from Mars Mission
Control big deal number seven beautiful
shot of the water 7.5 same shot but now
in an internet news site other articles
from this site something about the Super
Bowl something about plastic waste
optimus
about climate change and sparkling water
is all the rage on Wall Street with this
just for me who else looked at this my
biggest problem with this new site is
this water on Mars now I'm not just
being insufferable here I hear it all
the time people are like excited to
maybe find water on Mars there is a lot
of water on Mars and we've known this
for a decade if all the water on Mars
right now was melted there would be
oceans on Mars and also we know from the
Curiosity rover that there once were
oceans on Mars shot number eight Billy
Nye get that muddy Sun also I have a big
old rock on your desk and a microscope
facing the wrong way and calculations
for gravitation over a distance on your
blackboard number nine this young woman
is Alyssa Carson who's a science
communicator in space enthusiasts oh
that's cool also here we get to see that
somehow we named our Mars mission after
a Roman Emperor who was known largely
for debauchery and incompetence why did
we do that
I don't know subtle dig at the current
leadership maybe number 10 refers shot
who are these people we have not seen
them before also this is the shower we
hear the tell-tale sound of a SodaStream
11 close-up on competent woman 12
close-up on competent man 13 and 14
close-up on SodaStream 15 mid shot of
incompetent man 16 he's really enjoying
his beverage I actually asked on Twitter
and somebody knew that this thing is a
mass 100 NT microbiological air sampler
so like that's a real science thing shot
number 17 she looks very worried but
this is not the face of a woman whose
only Mars water sample has been
destroyed it's the face of a woman who
realizes that her colleague is about to
die of perchlorate poisoning his thyroid
is shutting down right now mark it was
never safe to go to Mars but we didn't
think you'd go out like this
Soda Stream get busy with the fizzy John
I'll see you on Tuesday