Donuts.
Wow.
I can't quite take all this in.
Quite literally, as far as the eye
can see in every direction-- options for food.
But what actually is the Iowa State Fair?
I don't know much about US state fairs.
Things on sticks.
A sensory overload of farming, food, lights, rides.
I'm expecting a culinary experience.
I'm not sure which way it's going to go,
but I'm expecting an experience.
I've been to a county show in the UK.
It'll be like that merged with the Vegas Strip.
The internationally acclaimed Iowa State Fair
is the single largest event in the state of Iowa
and every year attracts more than a million people
from all over the world.
It celebrates the state's best in agriculture,
food, entertainment, and achievement,
and we were told it's the true heartbeat of the Midwest.
It is nuts.
It's massive, and on any given day,
there are over 100,000 people visiting.
In true Sorted style, we love a competition,
so we turned this into a scavenger hunt.
We're going to pair off, and everything on that list
has points attributed to it.
I'm sending you the list now.
Eat a hot dog like Lady and the Tramp.
Are you serious?
Oh, what?
Kiss a horse.
Hold a snake.
Dress up like an American dad.
Done.
Right.
We need to talk strategy because I'm out to win.
Tactics.
We've got to nail the big pointers.
This is what Iowa's famous for.
That is the freshest corn I've ever had.
Chewy, charred to perfection, very buttery.
That is even more refreshing than a light beer.
35-degree heat.
That's what you need.
Sip a beer, sip a lemonade.
We've hit the gold mine.
This one stand does two staples--
elephant ears and funnel cakes.
That's delicious.
I don't need a whole elephant ear to myself, but it's great.
It's deep-fried strips of cake batter
covered in powdered sugar.
Crispy, golden, and sweet.
I'm going to have to use all my horse whispering skills to get
one of those horses over here.
Pucker up.
Nailed it.
You got it.
Got it.
Yeah!
It smells piggy in here.
Oh, wow.
Got it.
I've milked a cow.
A butter cow.
That was the same amount of points for that
as it was for actually milking a cow.
Milking a cow was more fun.
We've heard a rumor that every president has had a pork chop
flip, or a pork flip.
For several years now, yes, they have.
I'm nowhere near presidential material,
but I'd love to flip a pork chop.
You certainly may.
Hey.
Three flips.
Where did they come from?
I turn around, and you've got that.
There is no doubt that Iowa is all about corn and pork.
Corn feeds the pork, the pork feeds the humans.
It's very cyclical.
They sell 60,000 of these at the fair every single year,
and this our one.
Beautifully tender meat.
No flavors are added-- anything like that.
Just perfectly seasoned.
Jay.
This looks like something high.
Right, let's go.
Two balls, two plates.
Baz, you need to play the next game because that was rubbish.
That was awful.
Next might be [INAUDIBLE].
Yes.
One.
Yes, Ebbers!
Three.
You're walking.
Aww, this kid here needs it.
I want to give you this.
It's all yours.
Say thank you.
Let's find a cold beer.
I mean, yeah.
If you want to stick your thermometer in there, go ahead.
I asked if I could probe her beer.
Minus half a degree.
I'll take a beer.
Thank you.
How cold did you think that cold beer is?
There is only one way to find out.
Yeah, good idea.
What do you think of that?
3.7.
That's cold.
Oh, mate, what have you done?
Mike came back with a pork tenderloin
sandwich and a hot dog for us to Lady and the Tramp.
Well done, lads.
I think that's a two points or a three-pointer.
It's a tender loin.
Have a egg roll.
Bacon-wrapped rib on a stick with barbecue sauce.
I just remembered something fantastic.
What?
Our deal was that I kissed a horse and you hold the snake.
Oh, no.
Look who we bumped into.
I don't know.
Honestly, I don't know if I can.
Baz, you don't have to do it.
Just by myself.
Is that an Australian accent?
Yes.
A first?
Our [INAUDIBLE] is London.
I'm sorry to disappoint.
1, 2, 3, cheese.
Not yet.
We can [INAUDIBLE] this guy now.
[BLEEP] the bed.
All right.
It's not.
It's in my hand.
[BLEEP] [BLEEP]
All right, ready?
No.
Just take a deep breath.
There you go.
Movie star.
I feel like I embarrassed myself.
It's for the points, eh?
So let's get a hot beef sundae, which
won the state fair in 2006.
This is ultimate comfort food.
It's like beef stew, mashed potato, grated cheese.
I would rather not be eating it in 30-degree heat,
but on a cold winter's night, this is exactly what I want.
Fuck yeah, cookies.
I got a couple cookies, but I also
thought it might be worth asking her
how many cookies they go through a day.
100,000.
They are warm, and soft, and really tasty cookies.
There's one thing that I really, really, really want
to take off our list.
I really want to ride a mobility scooter.
Let's do that.
OK.
You're more likely to get this than I am.
Why?
Do we just go in and be honest?
Reversing, reversing, reversing.
What's your accent?
Australia.
We're from London.
Oh, man.
Causes so many people confusion.
If you want sugar and nuts, that's it.
On a stick?
Why don't you take that stick put it in that,
and that's beer on a stick?
Beer on a stick.
That's pretty weird.
Ice cream bar on a stick.
Ice cream cookie sandwich on a stick.
New York cheesecake on a stick.
I think we found our winner.
Having stood in line for five minutes, also seen on the menu
the cookie dough spaghetti, which
is one of the best new foods here at the State Fair 2018.
Done.
Mate, beat that.
New York cheesecake on a stick.
The one thing I am surprised about--
there's no base.
It's such a weird thing to be eaten on a stick.
It's so dense.
It's absolutely delicious.
It's a really good cheesecake, believe it or not.
So this is one of the fair's newest foods this year.
I'm not going to lie-- it isn't great.
But cookie dough spaghetti with a Ferrero Rocher on top.
Strawberry sauce or cherry sauce?
One of them.
Strawberry or cherry sauce, depending on what you choose.
Here we go.
Is it worth it?
It's great.
That's dressed like cowboys, right?
That is a dad's t-shirt.
That's a dad's t-shirt.
Strut that.
White sport socks pulled up, and a baseball cap.
I've completed our dad outfits for us.
You'll be home by 10 o'clock, young lady.
No, no.
10 points, right?
Surely.
Um--
Look at our socks.
Oh, well played.
I'll give you that.
Keeping the socks with you.
Well done.
We got beer on a stick.
Seal in your scores right now.
We'll count them up.
Then we'll reveal the winners, I guess.
But our day didn't end there.
We had one final surprise left.
My t-shirt says something about hot air balloons, yes?
We're going to take a ride.
We're all going to go up today.
I cannot wait for this.
Oh, yeah.
In Des Moines, they host the National Balloon Classic,
so I thought, what better way to experience
a bit of Des Moines and Iowa hot air ballooning--
Nice.
--than going ourselves?
This is amazing.
It's like a military operation.
Everyone has a role, and this balloon has just appeared out
of the back of a truck.
I've never seen a family so well organized also
who get on this well.
Not been one single bicker.
They told us that this is the biggest registered
hot air balloon in Iowa state.
It is 150,000 cubic feet.
And when we looked at her blankly,
she explained in real terms, that's
the size of 150,000 basketballs.
Jamie's holding on tight.
I'm excited, but I'm bricking it.
I'm going to be honest with you.
We've just released tether.
We're going.
Bye.
Now we're up.
It's quite calm.
How are you, mate?
I'm-- mm-hmm.
Oh, mate, [INAUDIBLE].
Still concerned about the lack of seat belts.
This is insane.
We've all gone very stiff.
You know, all YouTubers these days are doing drone shots,
so I thought--
I know.
Get with the times, man.
Well, you know me.
Mate, there's the state fair.
Get your drone shot now.
I'm still holding off.
Are you enjoying it at all?
I'm loving it, but I'm holding on.
It's so calm up here, and it's not at all windy.
You're going with the wind, and then you look down,
and you see the scale of the fair
that we were at earlier on.
And the scale of everything.
So you can see such a distance.
And it's the haze that stops you seeing,
rather than the horizon.
To be this high up without an engine, and nothing but a gas
burner, is actually magical.
Remind me.
I've just got over that.
It's amazing.
Absolutely breathtaking.
I am very happy.
I've let go.
I'm feeling good.
It is ridiculous up here.
It is really calming.
That feeling did not last long.
We're staying low now because any point,
Tim might drop the balloon down to a safe landing space.
How you feeling, Baz?
I'm seriously on edge.
Well, we're trying to decide whether to land
this side of the state or the other side of the state.
But not in the middle, then.
So we're coming into land.
Use the trees to brake.
[SCREAMING]
[BLEEP]
We did it.
Well done, everyone.
We're going to get people in the neighborhood
to come on over and see a balloon.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Mate, this is all local recommendations.
This is what happens if you don't just Google stuff.
Thank you, Des Moines.
Well, why don't we do it now.
So we planned it.
Let's ask people what we should do.
I believe we have no idea where we are now.
No.
Tim and his team were amazing.
They put on some food and drinks for us at the end of the trip
and even dropped us back to our hotel.
It's safe to say we'd remember Iowa,
the food, the people, and all those local recommendations
forever.
That is a game changer.