It's probably the number one barrier to success and happiness. Fear. How to break
through fear for once and for all. We're breaking through some barriers today.
Fear gets in our way in so many ways. And there are different
kinds of fear, have you noticed? Fear of rejection.
That's one of the big ones. Fear of failure which is closely tied to fear of
success. You know it's interesting, we kind of identify with the fear of
failure. It's like, "Oh, I'm afraid I will fail at that." But really success is one
of those things that we haven't yet experienced at the level that we could.
So, it's unprecedented. We've already failed. It's tough. So, we know what that
feels like. I wonder sometimes if the fear of success might get in our way
even more than the fear of failure. That's kind of weird. But that's
psychology. At another level there's a fear of not being enough or not being
able to handle something. In fact, that's an interesting point.
There's a book called Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway --Dr. Susan Jeffers. I love
that title. She identified in that book that at the root of every fear, all of
the ones that I've talked about --Fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear failure, fear
of success, fear of not being enough; all of those fears have it their base at
their roots --a common belief. In that belief is: "I can't handle it. Whatever it
is that I'm afraid of." I can't handle that. That has a natural trigger for our
brain's fight-or-flight response. This is a natural defensive mechanism that your
body has. It originates in your brain and in different glands of your body where
you experience a threat and your brain in order to keep you safe and keep you
alive for another day triggers chemicals
to your bloodstream that prepare your body to do one of 2 things.
Fight-or-flight. Either put up your dukes or get the heck out of there because
you've got to survive to live another day. That fight-or-flight response is
what we subjectively experience as fear. I remember having a conversation with
Tiffany Peterson. The amazing Tiffany Peterson. You can connect to the video
that I did with her right up there in that cart. Cue it up so that you can
watch that one next about conquering your fears. We got into this discussion a
little bit. Now, going back to the fight-or-flight response. Sometimes that
response is triggered by irrational thoughts or beliefs. And all I mean by
that is that you don't have to be in actual danger
in order for your brain to kick in all those chemicals that we refer to as the
fight-or-flight response. A great example is when you go to the movies. Have you
ever been in one of those movies? You know where it gets kind of intense and
you find yourself gripping those hand rests on your chair? My wife laughs at
me because I dodge stuff in there. And it's not even 3D. What gives? Well, there's
a part of your brain that does not discern between a real threat and a
perceived threat. And it kicks those chemicals into your bloodstream either
way. This gives us some clues as to what we can do to break through the fear. Now
that we understand a little bit about what fear is, where it comes from; let's
get into the specific strategies that we can employ to break through that fear
going back to the fight-or-flight response. One of the first things that we
need to do is calm the brain. And I mean specifically that part of your brain
that's triggering that fight-or-flight response.
It's freaking out and causing chemicals to flow through your bloodstream which
are causing the feelings that you're having. So, we want to calm that part of
your brain down. The quickest way I know to do that is breathing. Slow focused
breathing. In through the nose, hold briefly. Out through the mouth nice and
slow. You do a few of those breaths and it actually triggers some things in your
brain that reverses some of the physiological cues that are getting all
of that chemistry hopped up in your system. So, do some slow focused breathing.
There's other things that you can do too. Meditation or mindfulness are great. Yoga,
exercise. These kinds of things will help you to calm down your brain's
fight-or-flight response and that's important because the next thing that
I'm going to share with you has to do a thinking. And you're not thinking when
you're in fight-or-flight response. In fact, we've got brain scan studies that
prove this. When your limbic system, when that part that controls the
fight-or-flight response is really fired up, there's actually a decrease in blood
flow to the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of your brain that handles
logic, rational thought, compassion, empathy. All of those awesome higher
cognitive functions tend to be housed right here in the prefrontal part of
your brain. Well, that part gets shut down a little bit when you're in
fight-or-flight response. This makes sense. If you're being attacked by a bear,
what are you going to do? Sit down on the stump,
think it through? NO. Your bear chow if you do that. Your brain knows that. So, it
shuts down the thinker in order to maximize your probability of survival.
This is a good thing. Your brain loves you. Doesn't want you to be bear chow. I
told you I'd give you 2 strategies. Calming the brain is one that just
reverses the physiology. Now, we got to get to the thinking part. Some of your
thoughts are actually creating a sense of threat which is triggering the brains
fight-or-flight response. We have to work on the thinking. And the most simple way
to do this is to answer the what-if questions that are causing your fear.
The most simple way that I know to do that is to answer the what-if questions
that your brain keeps asking. You know the ones that are triggering all of that
fear in the first place. There's one answer that we're going for --"I can handle
it." Remember, the belief that's causing the fear in the first place is "I can't
handle it". Well, that's not even true. You've got 100% track
record so far. You've already handled absolutely everything that's happened so
far. Isn't that awesome? Why would that ever change? Of course you
can handle it. So, we answer the what-if question with a
new answer. And the new answer is I can handle it. It doesn't mean it would be
fun or that you'd want to sign up for it. But at the end of the day, you can handle
it. You know everything you need to know about fear to break through and get on
top of it. Sometimes it would help to have a little coaching and we've got
some available for you. I would start with the Positivity Power-Up. Go link to
it in the description. PositivityPowerUp.com where you will find some
resources. This is a self-study course that will walk you through the
psychology that will help you to not only get on top of your fears but to
create and live a life that you love.