The story of the video game hero has been pretty standard since Donkey Kong: do good
stuff, save the day.
Saving princesses and defeating evil space emperors is straightforward stuff, but storytelling
in video games has evolved.
Even the original Nintendo library of games is peppered with a few strange tales, but
game endings have only become weirder, twistier, and morally grayer as time goes on.
Spoiler alert: here are some of the most unexpected game endings we've ever played.
Batman: Arkham City
Rocksteady Studios brought their Arkham trilogy to places that Batman's comics never dared
venture, and broke numerous Bat-rules in the process, like revealing Batman's true identity
to the world…and letting the Joker die.
At the conclusion of Arkham City, Batman thinks that he's going to use an antidote to save
Joker from the toxin ravaging his bony body, but at the last moment, this happens.
"People die.
I stop you.
You'll just break out and do it again."
(laughs)
"Think of it as a running gag…"
(vial breaks)
"No!"
The Clown Prince of Crime dies on his own terms, laughing about how hilarious the situation
is, and Batman doesn't have to violate his ethics.
Even though it's a video game, it's probably one of the best Batman stories ever written.
Take that, Frank Miller.
Portal
Valve created the ultimate physics playground with their Portal series.
As you fight against a tyrannical computer artificial intelligence that's descending
into insanity, it's not hard to guess the game's ending: you destroy the computer and
save yourself.
You wouldn't be wrong.
The unexpected part comes when the computer actually flickers back to life, reboots itself,
and sings you a song about how it's very sarcastically happy for you.
(computerized song playing)
A later patch for some versions of the game includes a scene where the player is dragged
back into the facility after their escape, leading into the Portal sequel.
That game is more of the same good stuff, but with more Stephen Merchant.
"Oh, that's me they're talking about!"
Through an awesome series of events, the final battle culminates in stuff being sucked into
space through a portal on the Moon...and the computer program that's been trying to kill
you for two games just decides to let you go, once again serenading you as you depart.
Which, as game endings go, is pretty weird.
Far Cry Primal
The regular ending of Far Cry Primal is not very surprising.
You conquer a prehistoric land, raise the orphaned kid of a rival chief you've killed,
and burn another lady alive in the fire that she worships.
You know, typical caveman stuff.
A bit after the initial release of the game, its publisher, Ubisoft, released Survivor
Mode, which brings your hero's semi-mystical abilities back down to Earth and makes the
game incredibly tough.
Worst of all, if you die…that's it.
You have to start over from the beginning.
Ubisoft repeatedly implied that if you beat the game on Expert Survivor Mode, you'd get
an amazing reward.
Maybe something like a sci-fi raygun, or the crazy fire and ice weapons from your various
visions, or maybe a Prize Patrol-style giant check?
Nope.
You get a video of the developers saying thanks.
That's it.
Big freaking deal, guys.
Worst.
Surprise.
Ever.
Bionic Commando
The original Bionic Commando is notable for being the first platforming game that used
a grappling hook mechanism, which would later show up in countless games as an invaluable
tool.
Or just another way to disembowel people.
"Get over here!"
The 2009 version of Bionic Commando is notable for completely different reasons.
At one point near the game's final sequence, the secret location of hero Nathan Spencer's
missing wife is revealed … and it just happens to be inside his bionic arm.
"It's okay.
I'll always be by your side."
(drum beat)
This raises many more questions than could possibly ever be answered, so it's probably
best we just never ask them, period.
"I need an orderly with a wheelchair.
I've got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here."
Dragon Warrior
Vintage Nintendo games didn't offer too many big surprises, but the ending of Dragon Warrior
allows you to make a very challenging choice.
When you finally reach the Dragonlord, the evil dude who's been shadowing the land with
evil, it's not just a simple hack-and-slash conclusion.
The Dragonlord asks you if you'd like to join him in ruling the world.
You can obviously say no, but if you choose yes, you're promised half of the world, and
the screen is bathed in red.
Your experience and gold instantly drain to zero, you get immortality … and the game
freezes.
It's as if even your NES is disappointed in you.
It's kind of like the original video game creepypasta.
And speaking of creepy...
Dark Seed
If you ever want an evening of absolute creepout gaming, dig up a copy of the obscure game
Dark Seed.
H.R.
Giger's graphics are pretty eerie, and the game's limited palette, discordant soundtrack,
and awkward animation all add up to one big creepfest.
As the hero, you point and click your way between Earth and a fleshy, veiny parallel
dimension...all while some kind of alien baby gestates in your head.
You know, that classic video game trope.
After you save the world and return to your quiet little town, you still need to somehow
get this space fetus out of your skull … so you take an aspirin.
That's it.
"My headache's gone.
Just two excedrin is all it took.
Metroid
It's the original twist ending in video games.
As space pirate Samus Aran, it's your mission to hunt down the pulsating Mother Brain and
rush to escape the collapsing planet.
If you do a good job, you're rewarded with a pretty unexpected ending: Samus removes
her helmet.
Yes, her: Samus was a badass woman the whole time and you, young man, just learned a lesson
in gender politics.
If you beat the game in under an hour, Samus basically strips down to her undies, which
was a pretty big deal before the Internet.
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