Both: Three, two, one...
( music playing )
It takes a couple of dark, twisted and downright deranged minds
to take an item that is in perfectly fine condition
and destroy it beyond recognition,
just in the name of creating an entertaining YouTube video.
Luckily, we work with a couple of guys
who fit that description all too well.
It's time for...
Okay welcome, Mike and Alex.
They have destroyed something.
- Yep. - And it's our task once again
to figure out what it is based on its final--
its final result.
Dark, twisted, and deranged.
- Oh, wow! - Here it is.
- Cotton-- Oh! - You're already touching it.
- Oh, gosh. - I'm afraid to touch whatever this is.
It's cotton balls that had gas or some-- Something--
I would not touch that, man.
- There's eggs on it. - There's eggs.
- Those white things are eggs. - Those are eggs. It's larva.
He's gonna bite it.
- It-- Look at that. - There's a leg.
I wish you wouldn't have done that.
There's a leg.
There's a tusk.
- A tusk? - It's a-- It's a--
- It-- yeah. - It's like a stuffed--
- It's like a stuffed frog or something. - Elephant.
Elephant ain't got a leg that long.
But what did you do? You doused it in lighter fluid.
They doused it in gas and then they lit it on fire.
You doused this stuffed animal on fire.
Pretty basic. You're underestimating it today.
But there's a hole in it, which you created with--
A bow and arrow.
You shot it with a bow-- crossbow, specifically.
Look at that hair.
- And you added some of your own hair. - That's just me.
Oh gosh, it's really on there.
Sorry. Yeah.
You did something ungodly to a stuffed animal.
Ungodly?
Yes.
- It's possible. - Is it a Christmas ornament?
You could hang it.
That's all I got.
I can't get more specific than that.
- Just something ungodly. - Oh!
- There it goes. - Let's see exactly what you did.
Mike, I have terrible news.
- Trevor has betrayed us. - Once again.
I saw him kissing our wife last night
and he has to be punished
until he's no longer recognizable.
We warned you once.
- It's my first guillotine. - Wish I could say the same.
- Ready? Good-bye, Trevor. - Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God!
- Oh! - Certainly clean cut.
I still hate him. We need to keep going.
- Now we're gonna tar and feather this bird. - Another classic punishment.
They'll be like, "Oh, there's feathers on here.
It's not a bird. They're trying to throw us off."
This is disgusting.
You gotta squeeze it to finish it off.
- Oh, my God. - Get tarred, you bird! Get tarred!
All right, he's pretty tarred up now.
Really feather him.
Now this looks like Big Bird might've relieved himself.
- Okay. - There's half of him.
Believe it or not, this still just looks like an ostrich.
We gotta do a couple more things.
Okay, so in the Medieval times,
they used to drawn and quarter people.
They'd take four horses,
tie a rope to each one of your limbs,
to the horse as well.
Horses all run in four different directions,
your limbs pop off like Legos.
We don't have four horses, though.
We have two vans.
- I don't mind that. - You ready?
Both: Three, two, one, go!
Oh, that's surprising.
The weirdest part about his insides falling out
is he still looks exactly like a bird to me.
- Exactly like a bird. - So pretty much back in the day
if you were just jaywalking they'd burn you at the stake.
- Really? - I feel like that's how we finish up here.
Three, two--
- Ooh! - Yeah, it's flammable.
That's going good.
- What the heck is that? - Whoa!
- Oh, no! - He just exploded.
There's no chance they'll ever guess this.
I couldn't tell you what that is and I murdered it.
- Guys! - Oh, wow!
I'm completely disturbed.
Yeah, we really went to a different place.
Are you satisfied now?
I mean, did you take out all your demented thoughts on this thing?
- Of course. It's a good start. - I do not like Trevor still.
Wait, I'll point out two things.
I was pointing out the hole which is where he was decapitated
and the beans, which it was a Beanie Baby.
And we could've gotten farther
but you just wouldn't listen to me, man.
So you guys succeeded this time.
- Yeah. - And I'm very afraid of the two of you.
Is that two in a row for us?
You can have it back.
- Thank you. - That's your lunch.
Thank you, guys.
Rhett:
about redheads and it's going to blow your mind.
Knock it outta the park with this "Be Your Mythical Best" baseball T-shirt
available at mythical.store.