Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz
and this is Ascension Presents. So,
in working with a lot of high school students, college students,
young adults, the big question
comes up a lot of times, in someone's life,
"How do I know though—like, when it comes to being an
adult—how do I know
when I'm an adult? Like, what's the sign?"
You know, because, is it when I get my
driver's license, is it when I turn
18 and now I can vote, now I can buy scratchy lotto games?
I can gamble. Is that the sign of being an adult?
Is 21, when I can drink? Is getting married being an adult?
Is getting my first job being an adult?
Is having my first child being an adult? Like,
how do I know if I'm an adult?
An adult is someone
who takes responsibility.
Like, that's it.
Responsibility is the mark of adulthood.
In two ways.
One is responsibility for myself.
The other is, taking responsibility for someone else.
I'm going to explain those.
So, taking responsibility for myself.
That is such a clear sign of like, "Oh, I'm choosing to be an adult.
I'm responsible for doing what I said I would do.
I'm responsible for my decisions.
I'm responsible for waking up when I said would wake up
or when someone told me to wake up.
I'm responsible to get to class on time. I'm responsible to get to work on time.
I'm responsible that, when I show up, I'm giving my best.
I'm giving what is needed for this moment.
And I'm taking ... and it's on me. To embrace that kind of personal responsibility
is, I think, the first sign of adulthood.
And the second sign is when I take responsibility for someone else.
Now here's what I don't mean.
I don't mean I'm responsible for their emotions, I'm responsible for how they feel,
or I'm responsible for their outcomes, or I'm responsible for how their life turns out.
No, no no. I mean, I'm responsible to the commitments I've made to them.
I think that's one of the reasons why people will say, "I knew I was an adult when I got married,
or when I had a child."
In fact, one of our former students, he got married a couple ... two summers ago.
He and his wife just had their first child a couple weeks ago.
And, about seven days after, I texted him and said, "Hey, how are you different now?"
And I thought I'd get back, the kind of the quick text that was like, "Well, I'm really tired."
But he actually sent this long text,
kind of enumerating all of the ways that he perceived in himself that he had grown in seven days
of being the father of his son.
And I thought ... and as I read it, I thought, "Yeah, actually, that sounds really accurate."
Because that mark of adulthood is now, this man is like, "No, I'm responsible for the life of my child."
And he even said, "I'm responsible to my wife, to be the kind of man that she needs me to be."
I'm like, "Oh my gosh. Here is this man who's embracing
adulthood because he's embracing responsibility.
Think of how in past ages, this was just so natural.
And it was so ... it was such a drive in many people's lives.
I remember hearing stories from my dad or from my grandfathers—,
about how when the earliest age they could get a job, they were just so excited to get a job.
They were excited, they were eager to have the responsibility of, this is your job now.
This is your task. This is the money you're going to be making.
Yes, that's on the side
but, it was even more.
You are now responsible
for this work. If the mark of adulthood
is taking responsibility for yourself and for
and for someone else,
that means that no matter how young you are,
you can start acting like an adult.
It also means that no matter how old you are, you can shirk your responsibility.
You can cease acting like an adult.
I mean, people do this all the time, we see people
do this all of the time, right?
You have the old man or the old woman who, I don't want to take responsibility for myself anymore.
I want to hold on to my childhood, I want to hold on to my youth.
Which isn't just, I want to enjoy life. It's, I don't want to have to be responsible.
I want to avoid duty. I want to avoid obligation.
Responsibility isn't just a sign of adulthood,
it's actually also the mark of a Christian.
What is it that makes a saint?
Like, what is THE thing that distinguishes a saint from anyone else?
It's responsibility.
What I mean by this is living up to the obligation—
to the duty—
of saying yes to the Father's will.
You know,
the life of a saint all comes down to one question.
Do I live for the Father's will
or do I live for my will?
And if I'm living for the Father's will,
that means that I have an obligation to do this— I have a duty to live for the Father's will.
And a saint is someone who says yes to the Father's will and then just never stops saying yes.
Even if they fall—even if they fail in it,
a saint will get back up and say yes to the Father's will again and again and again.
And that is the criterion,
not just for adulthood,
but for sainthood.
And here's the last thing.
I find a lot people who will say like,
"OK, that's fine and everything but I can't be an adult.
I can't be that responsible Christian or that responsible saint
because I don't know my vocation yet. I don't know what the Father's will is for my life."
OK, baloney!
You absolutely do. Here's why. You know. Because why?
Because A) You know the commandments.
You know what God is asking you to do on the most basic level.
You know the commandments, what he's asking you not to do.
To be responsible to that, mark of adulthood, you know the commandments.
You also know your calendar.
You know, on your calendar, on any given day, where you need to be
and when you need to be there.
So, to say yes to that is to be responsible.
Third, you know your commitments.
You know the people to whom you have made a commitment.
And you know when you're there for them and you know when you're failing to be there for them.
You know the commandments of God, you know your calendar and you know your commitments.
You know enough to be a saint today. You know enough to be an adult today.
So, the only question remains is,
will I have that same kind of eager, racing after adulthood, racing after sainthood?
Or will I kind of sit back and say, "Nah, I'd rather be a kid.
Avoid responsibility.
Avoid the Father's will.
And not really grow up."
Again,
again, the distinction is not,
the distinction is not,
am I an adult with responsibility and a heavy life of sadness?
Or, am I a kid with no responsibility and joy?
The saints
figured this out.
A life of responsibility
AND joy.
A life of choosing the Father's will
AND being joyful about it.
Or will we do them, maybe? But still, be sad and resentful?
The choice is ours.
Be an adult.
Be a saint. Be responsible.
And be joyful in the whole thing.
From all of us here at Ascension Presents, my name is Father Mike.
God bless.