- My top three songs that I have were all,
you could call them demos.
And I think that people just like to listen to something
that they could hear themselves in,
whether it's the words,
the way you sing it, whatever it is.
And I think that the rawer and the more real it feels,
the more connected people can feel to it.
I made the song 'MEMORIES!' in my mom's basement,
right at the beginning of 2021.
And it was like 4 AM,
I was just scrolling through YouTube,
looking at YouTube beats
because for a while, I couldn't afford actual production.
So I would just go on YouTube
and search up random beats.
And I found this beat and then it was called 'Memories',
and I just went off that and built the song from that.
It's kinda weird to think about like relationships
or romance because I'm pretty young.
I'm like 18, but I think that no matter what age people are,
if you really are feeling someone
or you're feeling some sort of love,
The pain when you lose that person is the exact same,
no matter the age.
I had went through a breakup when I was like 16, 17
and I never deleted any of the memories on my camera roll.
Like I just left them in there.
It's weird how humans will like know something
is gonna hurt them,
but they'll go look at it anyways.
And I'm,
I would do that, I do that a lot. (chuckles)
And I feel like that's where that chorus kinda came from.
A lot of my favorite artists have passed away,
Juice, X, Peep, Mac.
When I think of who I am as a artist,
I like to think of myself as one day being in that lane,
which is the lane of being in your own lane.
A lot of great, amazing artists die young.
And I just, I don't know,
I have this feeling that that's just not my destiny
or at least I can hope that that's not my destiny,
because I want to be able to impact people for the better
for the rest of my life and the rest of my career.
A big portion of that is being alive to do that,
so I don't wanna die, it's not my destiny.
I think that's something that's always in everybody's head,
I think everyone always necessarily wants to be better
at what they think they're not doing too well at.
Some people are really able to see that
and able to accomplish that and be better.
And some people aren't able to figure it out right away.
But for me personally,
I just feel like that's something I'm always thinking about,
just in whatever way it is,
just trying to be better.
I think everybody's scared to open up.
I mean, I think everyone's scared to open up
in things that they're really either insecure about
or haven't talked out loud about.
If I went to like a doctor and they said,
"Your mind's like this and it's gonna be like this
and you can't fix it",
I think that would terrify me a little bit.
So I think that's why I'm kinda scared
to tell people how I'm feeling.
Well, there was a time in my life
where I was definitely smoking a lot
and drinking a lot,
which again sounds so weird because I'm young as fuck.
But there was like a fat moment in my life
and sometimes even now where it's like,
I would just wake up,
after a night of being faded or drunk,
and I would just feel like almost like a robot.
Like not even like a real human being
until I smoked again or drank again,
and then I'd feel like myself.
And it was the high or the faded was the actual sobriety
and the sobriety was the being faded or being high.
It's like a mix of roles.
I think that I said that at the end
because that's kinda how you feel
after anytime of doing something like that,
whether it's like looking through memories
or listening back to a voicemail
that didn't make you smile, whatever it is.
I was just like,
"Oh, why did I do that?"
I wasn't writing about something
that should be so foreign to people.
It's like, I feel like I wrote lyrics
that seem really familiar to other people
because it's real, it's real things that I felt
and most likely real things
that anybody else has felt.
That's why I think it does connect.
I had none of the files for the song
because all the files were on my old computer,
which had shut down and didn't work anymore.
So the final version of the song is technically a demo.