UPenn? Who's applying?
Not me, 'cause I'm to community college!
She just missed the early admissions deadline.
Hey, you don't need early admissions. You're a Hastings.
Give me a hint.
I will not give you a hint. We made a deal.
You'll see my costume tonight at the party.
But what if we end up wearing the same thing?
We are not going to be wearing the same thing, I promise you.
Look, I'll give you a hint if you give me a hint.
No hints, okay?
We said we're gonna pick somebody from a movie and we're all gonna surprise each other.
Whose stupid idea was that?
- Yours. - Yours.
You are such a tremendous loser!
You know, this is why nobody will go out with you!
You make it so hard to be a modern post-feminist
when you get so Alpha-male.
Well, you want me to stop?
No.
I know. I just... Really wanted you to see my costume.
Well, I can see it tomorrow.
Playing dress-up for your man on Halloween is one thing.
You do it any other night you end up on an afternoon talk show.
And besides, I've got a little bit of time now.
Trick or treat!
- Great. - Early birds.
Night of the living preschoolers.
Ezra had to cancel on me.
Great! Well, I mean...
Now I'm not the only one without a date, so...
They look like a wedding cake from outer space.
She told Hanna that she's better now. Better at what?
I'll tell you what. She sneaks in my house past midnight,
I'm sleeping with a crowbar under my pillow.
The only question is: do we ignore her?
Um, here's a hint: yes!
Where's Mrs. Grizzuti?
Uh, I'm guessing she had her baby.
And now Meredith's her replacement?
Please stick a fork in my neck.
Wait, someone stole that from the bio lab?
They have cow brains up there?
- I didn't even think... - That's because you got excused
from dissection based on vegetarian grounds.
Guys, people are gonna think that we put that in her locker.
It wasn't vegetarian, it was humanitarian.
- Are you still hating on me? - Possibly.
Guys, pay attention.
Something's definitely going on between Mona and Lucas.
- Why is he limping? - Maybe she kicked him.
What'd you do with the basket?
I trashed it. Why? Did you want the jelly beans?
Aria's right, Hanna.
You were the one who told me to give her a second chance.
Yeah, that was before I saw her campaigning.
Right now, I think Mona may be the best argument we got
against human cloning.
...and what's been done to you, and then you have to learn to forgive...
She shoots, she scores.
Un-freakin'-believable.
We will begin in three minutes.
Excuse me. Who's singing the national anthem?
- We really didn't plan on... - I'll do that.
Are you sure that Emily can't meet us?
Yeah, unless she can escape "Fort Fields".
Why is your grandmother singing?
Because she can.
This isn't working.
That's because it's a paper clip. You have to use a bobby pin.
Come on, have I taught you nothing?
- Soy? - Unsweetened, no foam.
You deserve a medal.
Weirdly, both of them ended with my teeth falling out.
Anxiety dreams.
In mine, usually there's always a piece of gum in my hair,
and I just keep pulling and pulling until I'm bald.
Academic decathlon.
I show up to state finals with my underwear on the outside.
- Hey. - Hey.
They were all out of "The Times", but I got you lots of copies of "The Observer".
Thank you for helping my freshmen to remember that TMZ is not the only source for current events.
You guys have history.
That's rough.
Yeah, if you're downplaying it.
All those in favor of Mona as team captain.
I had so time to campaign.
And Spencer?
A tie. Unbelievable.
So I guess we have a quiz-off.
Back of the study guide in the by-laws.
You read the by-laws.
Of course.
Tomorrow then.
Good luck!
So, put on your Hastings face and spank her tomorrow night
like I know you can.
Good pep talk.
I can come with you and I can rub your shoulders
between rounds, and wrap your knuckles, and hold your spit bucket.
This is not a prize fight, but I would like to punch her.
You look terrible.
Thank you.
I brought over everything that helps me when I'm sick.
Trash...
Ginger ale...
And... three seasons of "Saved by the Bell".
Thank you, Hanna.
Which one screams "young and hot" without being too trendy?
You're asking me?
Hanna, I've had this hoodie since I was twelve.
Caleb, come on, this is important. I have to impress Corin.
It's a job interview. You're not walking the runway.
She's the hottest designer in Philly.
It'd be a privilege to get her a cup of coffee.
She wants you to do it in five-inch heels?
Yeah, at least.
Alright, go with the dress.
But just to be sure, you should probably try it on for me.
I'll be right back.
Hey! Sorry to interrupt.
I have to borrow Emily for some girl talk.
Not girl-on-girl talk, just... girl talk.
Um, right now?
If you really want to surprise Toby, have on five-inch heels and
nothing else when he walks through the door.
What? I've heard guys like that.
Thanks for the tip.
I have no problem opening a can of whoop-ass on that woman.