Attention, please. I have an announcement.
I found my first gray hair.
And I couldn't be happier!
I'd always hoped to go full gray by the end of high school,
and this is the first step towards that silver-fox dream!
Like Jamie Lee Curtis!
This is great news!
My boy is ready for a man's barber shop.
You can finally come to Bushwhackers!
The haircuts are whatever, but the vibe's incredible.
We sit around for hours just choppin' it up.
Chopping what up? You know, "choppin' it up."
Gabbin', shootin' the shit,
smokin' and jokin' without the smokin'.
Chit-chat on steroids. You're gonna love it.
Let's go!
Also, babe, on my walk this morning,
I made contact with a really big dog
and I finally found my dinosaur book and --
Jeff! What's up? Not much.
No. Why are you telling me
about every little thing in your life?
I am trying to read Cinnabon's privacy policy.
Well, my memory's so bad that I know
if I don't tell you everything right away,
the important stuff will slip through the cracks.
How about this -- instead of telling me
everything as it happens,
write it all down in this notebook.
Oh, I get it!
And then I can go through it
and share the most important parts with you
No!
You ever see the show "Cheers"?
I'm kinda the Sam Malone around here.
You have to be Kirstie Alley. Everyone else is taken.
Oh! No, I knew you were gonna say that!
-Oh, you... -That's Tony. He's great.
He has a bunch of brothers who refuse to talk to him,
and he won't tell us why.
It was a soul-stirring episode.
No, no, no, no, no! No "Masked Singer" talk.
I wasn't able to watch last night 'cause I...
was on...a date!
-Ooh! -Ha ha ha!
So, where'd you take Tuttle's mom?
[ Laughter ]
Yeah! Where'd you take my mom, Tony?
My mom missed my ninth birthday party
'cause of a vicious yeast infection.
Uh...I'm, uh, sorry to hear that, Stan.
Tony, this is my son, Steve.
He just got his first gray hair.
I remember my first gray hair...
but it wasn't on my head.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, Steve, pretty soon
the whole town's gonna know about your gray hair.
Raymont here's a real blabbermouth.
Ha ha! It's true!
That's why I became a news director.
Lewis was talking about his PEEEE-NISSSSS!
So, my date last night. [ Clippers buzzing ]
You'll never guess who it was with.
Dracula! Dracula's a funny guess!
Oh, uh, n-no, uh...
Guys, it was Tanya from the nail salon across the street.
-He-yo! -Va-va-va voom!
[As Dracula] Suck your blood!
Hey, Tony, want to see a picture of a rose?
It's got the reddest petals, like red on steroids!
Uh, I should, uh, probably focus on the kid's hair.
[ Clippers buzzing ]
So, uh... h-how'd the date go?
Yeah. Did ya get lucky?
Actually, boys, I did get lucky...
'cause I forgot my wallet and she had to pay!
[ Laughter ] Classic Tony!
Save that money, bitch!
[As Dracula] Who wants to hear more
about my mother's yeast infection?
♪♪
Another great trip to the barber shop.
Damn. I was on "fi-ah" today.
"Steve got his hairs cut.
Mr. S got caught on fire.
Mrs. S is watching pornography on the living-room TV."
[ Clicks tongue ]
Must have been cool seeing your dad in his element, huh?
I-It was -- It was fine, I guess.
You guess? Come on! Tell your mother how awesome I was.
I can't. Sure, you can!
It's not braggin' if you're talking about somebody else.
[ Sighs ] Dad, you were completely out of sync.
Every time you spoke,
the conversation came to a screeching halt.
No! I-I'm good at chopping it up.
I'm Sam from "Cheers"!
No chance. You're...
Gosh, I can't even give you the quiet guy with glasses
who pops up like every 10 episodes.
You're so out of place, it'd be like if a character
from a completely different show came in the bar --
maybe Gargamel from "The Smurfs"?
And I feel like that's even generous.
Nope. Unh-unh. We are going back to Bushwhackers.
I'm gonna show you how wrong you are!
Woman on TV: Ooh! Hmm.
I think Doctor Throbber's weiner may have never been broken.