- Three, two, one.
(lively electronic music)
When I was 14 years old,
navigating the murky waters of adolescent insecurity,
I was walking into school one morning, lost in my thoughts,
probably about the boy I liked,
and the girls who I hoped I'd be in good with that day.
Do you remember those fickle years?
Then I glimpsed down at my feet and gasped.
Holy (beep).
I was wearing mismatched shoes.
It was too late at that stage to go home and change.
So what was I going to do?
I could tell everyone, right?
And bring attention to it and make a joke of it.
Or maybe I could try and make it a fashion statement.
Yeah, right.
But I made an alternative decision that day.
The shoes were similar enough, or so I told myself,
so I wouldn't say anything at all.
Nervously, I decided to treat it a bit like an experiment.
If anyone happened to notice,
I would just act surprised and laugh.
How often do little mess ups like this happen to you?
Maybe you forget a friend's birthday,
or you forget to invite a friend to a celebration,
or you have a blemish that you think
consumes your entire face.
- My pores are huge.
- Or you slip up in a presentation,
and you just freeze for a second.
Or your boss asks a question, and you don't know the answer.
Sometimes even you gain a couple of pounds,
and you think everyone can tell,
that they're looking at you.
Or your manicure chips
right before you walk into an interview.
That's happened to me.
The list can go on and on and on.
But here's the thing, okay? Listen up.
People are way too obsessed with their own lives,
their appearance, their performance,
the number of likes on their Instagram posts,
to take stock of or judge what you are doing.
Everybody is busy starring in his or her own movie.
They're not scrutinizing your role as an extra.
And sadly, many people spend years living in fear
of how others perceive them,
when the truth is other people simply don't care.
This is a huge exhale moment.
This is also one of the deepest joys
of going through life that you learn.
My thoughts have also shift from...
Shifted over the years from, you know,
does that person like me,
to maybe do I like that person?
It's so much more important what I believe now.
The fact is, despite small blunders,
which will always happen,
you can still choose to be an empowered human
or a disempowered victim.
And the world will respond to you accordingly.
If you're still sweating the small stuff,
here's my number one rule to keep in mind.
Ask yourself, will I care about,
or even remember this in just six months time?
If something is worrying you right now,
stop and think, will this concern me six months from today?
My guess is not, and trust me,
99% of what we worry about is absolute nonsense.
It'll be a blip in your memory.
Probably something you can't even remember.
Test it right now.
Remember for a moment, or try,
what you were worrying about six months ago
from this exact date.
So look at the calendar, today's date.
Six months ago, rewind.
What were you worrying about that day?
And was it important to worry about it?
If not, why worry about now?
What's on your mind now?
The best part is that asking yourself this question
reframes what matters most in your life,
your work, your health,
your financial responsibilities, your closest relationships.
These things count.
Invest in them rather than worry about what someone said,
or if you said the wrong thing,
or why somebody didn't text you back.
And also remember minor slip-ups,
which are the vast majority of mistakes,
can benefit us by teaching us something.
There's no such thing as a life without mistakes.
So maybe you can take something
from each mishap, if you can.
If you mess up a presentation,
you can spend a few more minutes prepping next time.
Or if your boss is upset with you,
maybe next time, you know, anticipate her needs in advance.
Or go for clear polish before your next interview.
And keep your shoes organized in your closet.
And hey, look, if you don't, that's okay, too.
Life isn't about avoiding mistakes. That's impossible.
It's about learning to let go of the stress we experience
when those mistakes happen.
My mantra is let it be easy.
And if you find yourself truly sweating
what other people do/say/feel,
keep in mind this universal truth.
It's not you, it's them.
When we relax, stay true to ourselves, and yes,
even make mistakes,
only then can the best version of ourselves
begin to surface.
We feel lighter, more carefree.
We have better timing.
We're more magnetic.
We live from the heart, from the inside out.
As David Foster Wallace puts it,
maybe you want to write this down on a Post-It somewhere,
put it on your mirror.
"You worry less about what people think of you
when you realize how seldom they do."
Oh, and in case you were wondering,
nobody noticed my wonky shoes that morning.
I felt like the world gave me a little wink
and a nudge forward that day,
letting me in on this universal secret.
And it's a secret too important to keep in my shoe closet.
If you liked this video,
be sure to hit the Subscribe button,
and the little bell icon to get notified
every time I upload a new video.
And before you go, quick question.
Do you want to step more confidently into your badassery?
If so, be sure to check out
my free confidence workshop at slayyouryear.com/workshop.
The link is in the description below.
'Bye for now.