- Once you turn 18, it feels like you have to have
your whole life together.
But what if you don't get it together?
What if you feel lost in life,
like where you thought you'd be
is so far from where you are right now.
It turns out we have a lot of big questions.
The what is the meaning of life kinds of questions,
the ones that keep you up at night
wondering if anyone else feels the same way.
So we started a blog to ask those questions.
Questions like, how do you even become
a real life functioning adult?
How do you find the friends
and figure out what to even do with your life?
We can't promise the answers, but let's figure it together.
We are a collective group of young adults finding life,
seeking to make a collective difference
with our collective influence.
So, here we go.
Today we're asking how do you know
if your life is moving in the right direction
and we're realizing that the answer is harder and simpler
than we ever expected.
Hi, okay I guess this is the part
where we just start talking.
Okay hi, my name is Leslie.
(bright music)
Hi, my name is Leslie.
We will be hanging out for the rest of the week.
Life Church wanted to do a project
where we really just investigate
the answers to what it means to be a young adult.
There's actually like a whole crew
and I kicked them out so I could do this part.
All the friends.
Okay I'm not done yet, I just wanted.
I can point out so many adult struggles I have right now,
even in tiny ways.
So here, this is real.
(laughs)
I didn't take out my trash and I've had company over
and it's just sitting there by the door.
Those are the stupid little things,
where it's like can someone else just tell me
the right way to handle this?
But honestly I think
to get to the heart of why we're really doing this
is that I think we all have bigger questions.
I think also like figuring out where I'm going in life,
are the steps I'm taking right now getting me there?
I think worse, I think the most true thing about my life,
personally, is that I consider people close friends
don't consider me a close friend.
I also talk with my hands a lot.
So I'm sorry if this is weird.
I will put my hands away.
And so the hope is that I can just ask all the questions,
the ones that we either tend to keep to ourselves
or the ones that we think everybody already has answers to.
I'm not saying that it's not going well.
I'm not saying
that like I'm the most struggling adult there ever was.
But I am saying there's so many things
that I gotta figure out.
Even if you life isn't in the same place as mine
or going the same trajectory as mine,
like we all have so many different stories.
I think are some really core questions we all ask
regardless of what it looks like on the outside.
Yeah, those are, that's where we're going this week.
And I'm excited that you're here with me
so that I don't (sighs) have to feel
like an idiot by myself.
Yay, adulting.
Here we go.
So I'm headed out to one of my favorite places
to meet up with some friends
and to talk about where we're headed this week.
And there's a couple of people I want you to meet.
This is Alli, she's my best friend.
We work together and we're going on this journey together
to figure out the answers to what it means to be an adult.
And this is Jacob,
he's another friend that we work with
who agreed to be a part of this.
We're gonna hopefully figure out
all the things together this week.
So, here we go.
So basically as we like capture this whole week of life,
there are certain people I wanna talk to.
I asked my pastor, Pastor Will,
if he would be willing to take a phone call with us.
And so he said yes.
I think he said he would do that around 11.
It is 11:02.
So I think we're gonna step outside
and I'm gonna call Will.
All right, let's get outta here.
- Hello. - How are you?
- [Will] I'm great, how you doing?
- I'm good, how you are you?
So okay, we've been just kinda talking about life,
honestly like all morning.
And we decided to land on questions,
like if we could ask someone older and wiser than us--
- [Will] I'm ready.
I don't know if I should be offended
that I'm considered older--
- No, you're just old, you're wiser than us.
- [Will] 'Kay.
- How do you know the direction your life is headed?
Like I don't know, what's the best way to phrase that?
- How do you know
if your life is moving in the right direction?
- There you go.
- [Will] I don't know if you ever get to a point
where you're like completely feel like,
hey, I know I'm in the perfect spot.
You know I don't know if you ever get there,
but I think if you're serving God
and you're serving the people that are around you,
even if you're not in the place
you necessarily wanna be in,
I think your life is moving in the right direction.
- Basically if you can look up and see
that there are people around you that you're like,
loving and serving, and then that you're like also
honoring God no matter where you are,
that's kind of an indicator
of you are headed in the right direction?
- [Will] The big thing is like,
the big thing is you love God
with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength
and love our neighbor as ourselves.
So like those are the two big things
we should be doing anyway.
Then I believe that God will continue
to lead me and guide me as I'm following after him.
But he's gonna lead me to where I need to be
and where my life will be successful.
- That's so helpful.
That gives us a lot more to talk about
and figure out. - Oh man.
I don't know, we may try to put that in practice
and see if we can meet up with you at some point this week.
'cause we're just kind of like vlogging
what we learn and discover throughout the week.
And so I mean, why not.
Maybe we can schedule something.
- [Will] That would be cool.
I'd be open to that.
- Okay, okay.
- All right.
- [Leslie] A couple of hours into this thing
and I'm already reevaluating my life.
Seriously, Will had so many great things to say
and there's just so much to process.
I also feel way better about my life
because I'm not the only one
who feels like I don't have a for real friend group.
Jacob has to leave, but Alli and I are headed out
to have one more conversation.
Will talked to us about loving our neighbors
and challenged us to find other people.
That's kind of overwhelming to think about,
but there's no one better to help us
than Jeff Galley.
Jeff leads our whole small group strategy
at Life Church.
Basically he's known as being super wise,
incredibly kind and kind of a professional friend maker.
Anyway, we had a great conversation with him
about the importance of relationships.
Honestly we talked to him for about an hour,
but here are the highlights.
- Got made me
to actually live in community with other people.
I think you just have to start
spending time with people consistently
and be more curious about them and their story.
It can't be about us,
it can't be about I want to spend time with this person
because of what they do for me.
That mindset doesn't create relationship.
I think one of the biggest barriers
to the best relationships happening in those groups
is just an unrealistic expectation
of the time it takes to build that kinda connection.
Let a story unfold then I think that's where
some of the most powerful friendships can come from.
- [Leslie] Then he drew this awesome diagram.
This is the part that you really need to know.
- There's a diagram that I think helps
draw some of this together,
especially as it relates to understanding
what your purpose in life is.
Can I draw it?
- [Leslie] Jeff says that to figure out your purpose
you can ask yourself these three questions.
What experiences have shaped me?
Do I have any specific passions or calling?
And what gifts and abilities do I have?
The intersection where these three meet
is where you find your purpose.
Anything in that circle that answers those questions
is fair game.
So how does this diagram play out in real life
and with real people?
Here's what Jeff said.
- So I think even discovering your sense of purpose
is really connected to the friendships that you have
because it's the people in your life,
if you're willing to say that I need them
and also if you're willing to be vulnerable enough
and actually trust them enough
to talk about these things,
'cause these are the most personal parts
of who you are, right?
Like sharing your experiences with people,
both the good and the bad,
those are the things that foster relationship.
- So these are the probably two things I'm gonna take away.
Is one, I'm gonna work on being present over preference.
Like over just having a preference
of what I wish I was doing now.
And the people I wish I was doing it with.
Like I'm just gonna be present there.
And the other thing is curiosity over comfort.
Of like I wanna know more about you
than I want to be comfortable right now, so.
- That is good.
I like the way you said that.
- [Leslie] To be honest, I wasn't expecting
to have this much to think about already.
Jeff really lives up to his reputation
as being this wise guy.
And his diagram helped me think through
what I feel like is missing in my life.
If I'm being real, if it were an option for me
to figure out life by myself,
I'd be totally down for that.
But Jeff helped me realize that we need people
because they're actually connected to this bigger idea
of identity and purpose.
We'll keep exploring those ideas as we vlog,
but there's already so much I'm reflecting on.
Jeff challenged me to look for people
who are different than me,
to stop focusing so much on what's in it for me.
And instead to just show up,
be curious and be real with people.
So even though it feels super awkward and super weird,
I'm gonna test it out this week.
I'm gonna find a group of people
that I don't know super well
and see if we can become friends.
I'm also asking myself those same questions
that Jeff asked earlier.
What experiences have shaped me?
Do I have any sense of calling?
What gifts do I have?
I guess we'll see if having people around
can help me figure it out.
We'll see what happens.