- Hey, is Megan Markle a narcissist?
By the end of this video, you're gonna know
exactly whether or not she may be a narcissist.
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Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung and I'm an attorney.
I've been recognized as a top 1% attorney.
I've written a couple of bestselling books,
"Breaking Free" and "Negotiate Like You Matter",
and I help people negotiate with narcissists.
That's what I do.
And if you want power, if you want control,
if you want to be able to manage
and deal with narcissists in a successful way,
especially when negotiating with them,
then make sure you subscribe to my channel
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Okay, so let's have a conversation about Meghan Markle.
I actually did a video about
her and the interview that she did with Oprah.
It was called Prince Harry and Megan on the Oprah Show.
And I did a whole breakdown on it
where I actually analyzed whether or not
there are narcissists in the Royal family.
Well, many of you did agree with me.
And by the way,
if you want to check out that video, go check it out.
And then you can come back and watch this
or go watch it after.
But many of you agreed with me, but many of you did not.
Many of you actually said,
"Hey, how come you didn't call
Megan Markel out as the narcissist?
How come you didn't say that?"
And you know, who knows?
I mean, in some ways maybe they all are narcissists, right?
Or maybe none of them are.
But as to Megan, I do wanna say, I'm not a psychologist.
I've studied a lot on narcissism.
You can see lots of books behind me.
I've kind of gotten my own official doctorate in it
because I've done a lot of negotiating
and it was really was a powerful shift for me
to start learning about narcissism,
learning about difficult personalities,
and then figuring out how to apply what I've learned
about negotiation to dealing with narcissists.
And so I do want to make it clear,
I'm not diagnosing anyone here.
I'm just speculating based on
what I've read and the resources that I've reviewed, so.
And by the way, the other thing
I do wanna make a point about
is that I'm actually biracial myself.
I know Megan is also biracial.
She's Black and White,
I am Asian and White myself,
So I want to make it clear
I have no thoughts with regard to her race.
In fact, I happen to love the fact that she's biracial
and mixing it up in the Royal family and all of that.
So, with all that being said, what do we know about Megan?
Well, we know that she is biracial,
as I mentioned before, her parents were divorced,
she was an actress,
and she was also married once before herself
and divorced once before.
And she enjoyed some moderate success
as an actress, I would say.
She was in the show "Suits" for several years,
but I wouldn't call her,
she wasn't really like an A-list actress.
I mean, she was on the show,
and certainly she was never nominated for any major awards.
Okay, so in 2016, what happens?
Prince Harry comes along, she meets him,
and they start dating.
She certainly knew who he was and what she was getting into.
And she certainly didn't flee from that.
She didn't say, "Oh, I don't want the attention."
And you know, any of that.
But you know, you can't really fault her
for wanting to be married to a Prince
and all of those things.
I mean, a lot of girls want that kind of thing.
That's the whole fairytale, now isn't it?
So, she marries Harry.
Things immediately start falling apart,
things aren't working, she's not happy,
the Royals don't seem happy with her.
You know, she had a very different background,
not even talking about race,
but she was raised in America
and she wasn't raised in England.
She wasn't raised around the Royals
and understanding what comes with that,
the service and the certain types of things
that they have to learn.
You know, curtsying.
And, you know, I remember her talking about
how she had to curtsy to the queen, even in private.
And she didn't realize
that was something you did in private.
So, you know, she tells Oprah
on this interview that she was very unhappy.
She was depressed, suicidal even.
And I think Harry saw shades
of what was going on with his mother,
because if you think about that interview
that Diana did back in the nineties,
she actually said a lot of the same things.
That she was depressed, that she was suicidal.
She had anxiety, she was having panic attacks.
She had an eating disorder.
She was throwing herself down steps to, you know,
try to cry for help, somebody please.
And the Royals were sort of pushing that down
and shoving it aside and she felt very alone.
And I think Harry saw shades
of what was going on with Megan
in what happened with his mom.
In addition to that,
they were completely hounded by the press.
On, and on, and on.
Wouldn't let up.
And obviously Harry,
that's a very sore spot for him as well
given what happened to his mother
and the fact that, you know, she was in this car crash
because the paparazzi were chasing the car
that she was in in France.
At least that's the story.
So,
I do wanna say,
when you take a look at what's going on with Megan,
it's really important to look at it in terms of the,
what I call the seven deadly sins,
but it's the seven things that they take a look at
when you're looking at whether or not
somebody has narcissistic personality disorder.
And remember people, I look at it as a continuum.
I mean people can have narcissistic traits.
In some ways we all want to feel seen,
heard, and know that we matter.
That just makes us a human being,
that certainly doesn't make us a narcissist.
All people like to feel special.
There's certainly nothing wrong with that.
That doesn't make her a narcissist.
You know, what makes people a narcissist
is that they have this disorder
that causes them to just be, you know,
deeply, deeply, deeply insecure
because they have no inner sense of self,
they have no inner self-worth.
So they feel like they have to extrapolate it all
from the environment, from other people,
from circumstances, from events,
and that's called narcissistic supply,
which is what feeds their ego.
And if you want to know more about
the seven deadly sins of narcissism,
definitely check out my video on that topic.
But it's the seven traits that
psychologists or psychiatrists will take a look at
when they're trying to diagnose
whether somebody actually has the disorder.
Not just traits, but the disorder.
So they look at whether or not somebody is shameless.
Do they have magical thinking?
Meaning they distort everything through a particular lens
to fit the narrative that they want to fit.
Arrogance is number three.
Number four is envy, very jealous.
They, you know, they're jealous of people's accomplishments.
They have a hard time giving credit to people.
Entitlement is the next one.
They feel entitled.
They should have special treatment all of the time.
They use people.
So that's number six, is exploitation.
And number seven is that they have no boundaries.
So,
it's really, really hard to tell,
you know,
if you look at the two main characteristics of narcissists,
which is they have no inner sense of value,
and number two is that they,
you know, can't feel any sense of caring,
or compassion, or empathy for others,
which manifests itself in the seven deadly sins.
The shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance,
and the entitlement, exploitation, and no boundaries.
Okay?
So but what's hard to see sometimes
is how people are feeling,
how they're really showing up for people.
Do they care about people?
Do they have empathy?
It's hard to know.
Is she really caring about Harry
and what's going on with him?
And the fact that they did this interview with Oprah
while the grandfather is laying in the hospital
and near death, obviously, because he's now passed.
So it could be that she just has narcissistic traits
but not actually have the mental disorder,
the narcissistic personality disorder.
Clearly she chased a life of being in the spotlight,
but you know, most girls do wanna marry a Prince
But she also was chasing a life as an actress.
That doesn't necessarily make somebody a narcissist, right?
She does seem to like being in the center of attention.
You could say that just when things were calming down
she orchestrates this interview with Oprah,
which comes out while the grandfather's in the hospital.
You know, it could be that
that's not necessarily great timing.
It could be that, hey,
she just wanted to set the record straight.
Most people when they're being accused of things
feel like they want to defend themselves.
Feel like they want the truth to be out there
or their version of the truth.
On the other hand, it could be indicative
of a person who can't take criticism.
Narcissists are super sensitive.
For narcissists you're either
for them or you're against them.
And if you're against them then you're
public enemy number one and they wanna take you down.
So it could be that she was like,
"Okay, here's my revenge.
I'm gonna get Oprah to sit with me.
I'm gonna get Oprah to be my flying monkey.
And I'm coming after all you people
who didn't treat me as special as I wanted to be treated."
Who knows?
I mean, I have seen people criticize what she wears,
how she speaks, even how she touches Harry.
They're like analyzing the fact
that she put her hand on his back
and that means that she's trying to control him.
Or maybe she couldn't handle being a Royal.
But you know, one might also argue
that if she was truly narcissistic
wouldn't she have wanted to remain a Royal,
where she gets all that special attention
and gets all the accolades for being a Royal,
rather than being, you know, shoved aside over here
and living in LA in a house like,
you know, somewhat of a normal person,
but also obviously a very wealthy one?
But you know, she's not gonna be in the limelight
as much as she might have been had she remained a Royal.
So, I mean, some would even say that
they were just unhappy in their lives.
Both of them, they both wanted to leave.
And you know, Harry's got this thing
in his mind that his mother was depressed.
His mother was potentially killed by paparazzi
because they were chasing the car.
And so, you know, he might have just said,
"I don't want that for my wife.
I don't want that for my family as well."
It really could be that
she's not necessarily controlling him and saying, you know,
and being that narcissist.
But it could be.
I mean, it certainly could be
that she wanted all the attention.
She wasn't getting enough of it from the Royals,
so let me make this huge, you know, ruckus.
Let me leave, let me, you know, talk to Oprah.
And maybe that's her version of narcissistic supply.
Maybe it is that she has
little or no regard for Harry's feelings,
or his relationship with his family,
or for his family at all.
But remember it's always possible
to be misinterpreting what you're seeing.
We all see things based on our own lens,
based on our own filter, on our own perceptions.
You know, I've heard the analogy at times
where you're like watching a tennis match and,
you know, some people are sitting in the stands up there.
and some people are sitting in the stands over here.
and some are right down in front.
And everybody's watching the same game
but everybody has a different perception
about what's happening, or where the ball went,
or what the swing was,
or if the ball was in or out, or whatever.
We all have our different perspectives.
And you know, sometimes,
no matter how hard you try to persuade someone of something,
they're just not goNNA be swayed no matter what, right?
So, some of you may have already decided
she's definitely a narcissist.
And some of you might think she's a victim, right?
Maybe she's a victim of the Royals.
Maybe she's a victim of racist people.
Who knows?
But how does this all tie back
to negotiating with narcissists?
Which is what I teach.
That is that you need to remember
that people always come to negotiations
with their own sets of biases,
their own opinions, their own perceptions.
And knowing that, and knowing what they are
for the other person,
will definitely help you develop strategy,
it definitely helps you
develop the leverage that you're going to need,
and it can also help you build rapport.
So don't be so quick to judge.
Remember that you need to be flexible
in your opinions of people and they may change
as you get to know them more in the negotiations.
All of these are ways that you
can start to gain an advantage in the negotiations.
So, what do you think?
Do you think Megan's a narcissist?
Give me a, "Yes, I think so,"
or, "No, I don't think so," in the comments below.
And thanks for watching.
Remember that if you want a copy of my free
Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet,
you're getting ready to negotiate,
then you definitely need it.
It's an free ebook and you can
just get it at winmynegotiation.com.
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I would love to see you in there as well.
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like it, and share it, and drop me a comment.
Let me know, "Yes, I think she's a narcissist,"
or, "No, I don't."
I'd love to see what your thoughts are below.
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