- [Amanda] Hi, Psych2Goers.
Recently, we made a video
about seven things you should keep private.
Some of you shared your thoughts with us
and today, we'd like to acknowledge them.
You told us about the types of situations
in which you shouldn't keep to yourself,
but instead should share with those you trust.
These may include difficulties
in your family, relationships and workplace.
And while sometimes, some things
are best kept private to avoid unnecessary problems,
we do encourage you to speak up
about serious issues you may be facing.
Talking about those problems in a safe setting,
like with a mental health professional or a close friend
could help you take the weight off your shoulders.
So, here are four things not to keep private.
Number one, abuse in the family or relationships.
It's common to have disagreements
with your partner, friends, and family.
Maybe you're annoyed
that they don't help around the house enough,
but sometimes when your relationship problems go far
beyond chores and minor disputes,
it's important to tell someone.
As mentioned by Shagoon Maurya,
an Australian psychotherapist,
"Abuse can be a taboo subject,
making it very difficult to openly discuss it."
You may feel guilty, ashamed, confused,
or afraid that people will judge you,
or won't take you seriously.
For these reasons,
you may feel like you just can't open up
and then you suffer in silence.
But by keeping silent,
you may be giving your abuser even more power over you.
When you talk about it, you shift that power back to you
and you allow others to help you with your struggle.
Sybil Cummin, a licensed professional counselor
in Colorado, suggests that, "You find someone who you feel
is trustworthy enough for you to share your story with."
And if you don't feel like people
in your life could help you with your situation,
you should definitely seek help from professionals
whose job it is to help victims of abuse
stand back on their feet.
Number two, depression or other mental health problems.
Even though psychology and mental health
is now more accessible than ever before,
it's still underestimated,
not understood and stigmatized.
For these reasons, when you're feeling down,
you may just put on a happy mask and pretend you're okay.
This is commonly called bottling up your emotions.
And it can be extremely damaging
for your mental and physical health.
According to clinical psychologist, Victoria Tarratt,
suppressing your emotions whether it's anger,
sadness, grief, or frustration
can lead to physical stress on your body.
It can affect blood pressure, memory, and self-esteem.
So, talking about your problems with someone you trust
not only helps you get all those negative emotions
out of your system,
but it can also help fight the stigma
that surrounds the topic of mental health.
By sharing your experiences,
you can show others that they're not alone.
This was confirmed by a new study
published in the "Community Mental Health Journal"
which found that young adults who shared their stories
about living with mental illness
increased their wellbeing and felt less stigmatized.
Don't suffer alone.
There will always be someone willing to help.
Number three, unequal pay or difficult financial situation.
Sometimes, people are just nosy,
especially those you don't know well.
They may use your financial situation to shame you
if they think you earn too little
or mock you out of jealousy if they think you earn too much.
With those people, it's best to just let them know
that your money is none of their business,
but there are situations
in which talking about money can actually be important.
Even though we live in a modern society,
we still haven't solved the problem of unequal pay.
For example, recent data
from the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2020
suggest that women earn significantly less than men,
even for the same job.
On top of that, managers sometimes take advantage
of inexperienced workers
and may offer you less than what you should be getting.
If you suspect you're earning less than you should,
talking about money with your coworkers
could help you figure out what you should be paid
and allow you to stand up for your rights.
Just make sure you trust them enough,
so they don't bad-mouth you in front of your boss.
Similarly, if you're struggling financially,
it may be good to share your struggles
with someone you're close with.
It may be embarrassing and difficult to talk about,
but if you're struggling so much
that you can barely afford food or basic hygiene,
your friends would surely be happy to help you out.
They may even be able to lend you a few bucks
for necessities or help pay for your grocery trip.
Or maybe even introduce you to job opportunities.
And number four, your goals and future plans.
Some studies suggest
that if you share your goals and dreams with others,
you might be less likely to chase them.
That might sometimes be true for instances
where you are not really a hundred percent sure
if that's what you want to pursue,
but when it comes to something
you're really passionate about,
sharing those goals with others could ensure
you get the help, connection,
and support you need to get on the path to success.
But when sharing those dreams,
pay attention to who you're telling your plans to.
A recent 2020 study
published in the "Journal of Applied Psychology"
states that you can have greater goal commitment
and performance if you tell your goal to someone you believe
has higher status than you,
or if you truly value that person's opinion.
Howard Klein, lead author of that study
and professor of management
and human resources at the Ohio State University explains,
you wanna be dedicated
and unwilling to give up on your goal,
which is more likely
when you share that goal with someone you look up to.
So, when talking about your goals,
make sure you share them with someone you respect.
In that way, you'll make sure
it won't be just all talk and no action.
Do you agree that these things shouldn't be kept private,
but shared with someone you like and trust?
What are some other things
that are best shared with someone?
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks so much for watching and see you in the next one.
We'd like to thank you for your suggestions and comments.
We greatly appreciate what you have to say,
and we're taking each comment into account.
We're always lucky if we're able to teach you something,
but it also makes us so happy to learn
from your comments, stories, and experiences.