OVER RADIO: Jeremy, this car is better than yours.
(SIGHS) Well, now, it just isn't, is it?
You're being a... What's the word?
We then flashed through the village of Kissing,
getting it over with as quickly as possible.
Then we went through Petting.
And to make sure we reached erm...
third base before bedtime,
we decided to set our satnavs.
SATNAV: Please name the country.
JAMES: Austria.
SATNAV: Please name the city.
Foo-cking.
SATNAV: Excuse me?
(BEEPS)
(MUTTERS PLACE NAME UNDER BREATH)
SATNAV: Sorry?
- (SATNAV BEEPS) - (MUTTERS PLACE NAME UNDER BREATH)
(MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH)
SATNAV: Sorry?
SATNAV: Is your destination Selking?
No. Foo-cking.
SATNAV: Kraking has been accepted. Which street should I select?
(MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH)
SATNAV: Sorry?
I can't say it. People are listening.
- (MUTTERS PLACE NAME WITH A COUGH) - SATNAV: Sorry?
Thankfully, Hammond had decided to program
his bargain-basement system manually.
F.
U.
(MUMBLES)
K.
(LAUGHS)
It's gone in!
RICHARD: And soon, we crossed the border into Austria.
It's very, very pretty, Austria.
No idea why Hitler was in such a bad mood.
Eventually, we arrived...
erm...
here.
So is this the climax of this stage of our journey?
JEREMY: Is it all it's cracked up to be?
That's what I want to know.
Cos often it can be a disappointment, the first time you go there.
The first time I came here, I couldn't find the way in.
(LAUGHS)
JEREMY: Once we'd arrived in...
(MUMBLES)
...James was very keen
we should get in the back of his Bentley.
What's really incongruous about this is that you're very obviously in a Bentley.
All this looks very Bentley,
until you look down here and see these symbols on this control knob,
and it's very obviously a serious off-roader.
Oh, what, those symbols?
So you can set it for
swamp, minefield, Christmas or Mexico? Nice.
- Yes, Hammond. - Shall I tell you something interesting about the wood,
or one of the woods you can have in this?
It only grows on a cliff face in Asia,
and the way they get it is they have to abseil down it with their woodworking tools.
Why don't they just use wood from a tree that grows in a field?
Is everything standard in here?
- No. - No?
- No. - So how much is this car?
- This particular one? - Yes.
- Is 212,000 and something. - What?
So that means the extras in this car
cost more than Hammond's entire Jaguar?
- How much is your Jag? - About the same.
- What, that Jag with all the extras? - That is £51,450.
And this has got £52,000 worth of extras in it?
It's just a little bit more on extras than the entire Jag.
It's great... value.
- JEREMY: Can I just say, James... - Yes, do.
...I do quite like the interior of this car.
No, I do. I'll be honest. I like the quilted leather,
I like the wood that comes from a cliff and all of that.
But the exterior, I'm sorry, it's hideous.
- Ugly. Pig ugly. - Yeah, well, hang on a minute.
Because, do you remember, and it is a long time ago,
when the Continental GT first came out,
we all thought that was hideous...
- It was. - ...and now we all love it.
- It's one of the few things we agree on. - Yes. Yes, that's true.
But I think this is more like you.
When I first met you, I thought you were ugly.
And now I still think you're ugly.
A crushing criticism from one so handsome.
- JEREMY: James? - What?
Unlock the doors.
James, please unlock the doors.
We're in... this place.
RICHARD: In the back of a car,
together.