it's time to share some truths with you about my current journey in life i'm dr trish lee i'm
here to tell you about some things that are going on with me and related to your own porn addiction
recovery journey now i gotta tell you these things are not easy for me to share with you
right now but i felt it was important um so dear friend tread lightly on my soul because if you've
met me and you have i like to share things once i figured them out but unfortunately i'm in the
midst of something that i have not yet figured out but it's impacting me and it impacts the
way that i show up here for you on youtube um thankfully it does not impact the way that my
team is able to help people and the way i'm able to help people in my programs so i'm still here
for you and we're here for you in that way but it's going to change some things here on youtube
so i wanted you to know and thinking about what we talk about here on this channel we talk about
living a life of integrity and becoming vulnerable and having transparency with discernment sharing
things with people when it's important and i wanted to show up for you in that way today so
here it goes is that i have been sick i don't know what is going on but apparently i have a
triple infection a bacterial which i think is strep um i'm pretty sure i have every single
mycotoxin under the sun uh riddling my body currently from a mold infection and i have
a viral infection which is likely covered long haul so it is the trifecta of a triple infection
which apparently makes it difficult to get rid of so i must have been sick for a really long time
and that's why i wanted to share this with you because now of course when i look back
i can see some of the things that have happened to me are related to this but i didn't know at
the time which is very common in a porn addiction recovery journey i'm gonna make all the parallels
as i kind of tell you my story because my hope is i'm at rock bottom i don't know if that's the case
but my hope is that i'm as sick as i'm gonna get and i have just identified
my own dr trish lee hopefully in the world of infections to help me um get healthy again so
hopefully this is the worst of it it makes me look like emperor palpatine from star
wars if you don't know who that is google it you'll see the resemblance unfortunately
so i i don't know if you've been following me for a long time you'll know that in some of
the videos the early ones i had an eye infection and then in other videos i had a tooth infection
and you can progressively see my eyes get worse and actually my eyes haven't been good in years
so it's going to be exciting hopefully to put this behind me but i want to share my journey
with you so in january january is when my eyes really blew up i knew there was something going
on in the fall but i just chalked it up to you know needing more sleep and be doing too much you
know i'm raising six kids i have a business i have multiple businesses you know i blamed it on that
all things that i can control by the way uh which is not the case so
you know it kind of was progressively developing a weird thing happened last fall i'm currently in my
mountain house right now uh getting out of my home in case there's mold there that's being tested
right now um i was here in the mountain house and i had weird smell things going on and if you
remember if you've been here on the channel with me last not march 2022 but march 2021 i had covid
so i think maybe there's a perfect storm going on in here um but in january my eyes blew up and so
i sought out a doctor who i thought was going to help me and tried but was just treating the wrong
things so i didn't get anywhere there and you know really nice guy but just not equipped to be able
to help me so then i went to three actually i went to more but solid appointments with three other
doctors locally who just told me they can't help me it's it's out of their bandwidth they have no
idea what's going on um i went to my eye doctor he told me it's contact dermatitis which clearly
it's not um so you know i was kind of floating around in the medical system you know really
begging for someone to help me and no one was able to some people tried some people
didn't even try they just said they don't know i found a functional medicine doctor who's been
helping me trying to help me for the last couple months um i just received an email today that she
doesn't think she can help me because some tests came back and those mycotoxins are
through the roof but i already have set up an appointment with the doctor that i'm going
to work with so to make the parallel you know if you've been struggling with porn for a long time
you might not even know porn is at the root of your issues i didn't know that bacteria and mold
and maybe covered long haul was at the root of mine i thought you know i've got to stop eating
i i cleaned up my diet i've got to stop drinking i wouldn't drink anymore i didn't get any better
i thought you know i gotta work out every day instead of every other day and you know that
didn't help me either all things i can control all things i know about not things i don't know about
and if you've been you know flip-flopping around in this porn thing and you're like you know
i don't know if porn's bad for me and i don't know if it's creating what i've got going on in my life
you know i'm here to tell you that porn creates anxiety it creates adhd like symptoms it creates
erectile dysfunction it creates depression it creates difficulties in relationships and
relationships strain it's at the root of anger and irritability if you're caught up in a porn cycle
it doesn't always cause it but obviously if you are in the porn cycle it is disregulating your
brain and it's creating and exacerbating a lot of your problems so i wish somebody would have
told me a long time ago like check your house for mold sister but i didn't have anybody
to tell me that i i just you know how that goes i wish i could go back i want to be sick right now
but i also have to accept what i have going on and move forward getting the right people to help me
and that is what i want for you that's why i have programs that's why i have been putting together
a team since the beginning of the year because i had the sense that you know this thing's not
moving in the direction that i wanted to honestly i still have no idea what where the problem is
and you hear me where the problem is there is the solution but you need to get the right people to
help you find the problem and then to present the solutions you need the person who knows the stuff
you don't know it is the stuff we don't know that takes us down it's insane but it's true so
you know i've been going through my process of downplaying what i'm going through because i don't
want it to be a reality i'm not downplaying it to others i'm downplaying it to myself
it's like okay it can't be that big of a deal well i've been assured it's a very big deal
i've been assured that it is probably going to get worse before it gets better which is why i'm
making the video because if i bounce out of here and you don't see me for a while it's not because
i don't want to be here it's because i can't so i just wanted you to know that so hopefully
as i stir the pot it will get better and hopefully that won't happen and what you will see is me
getting better over time which is what i want for you so if you're struggling with porn and you're
alone and you're in isolation trust me i know how that feels what this journey has already given me
and you've you know again you know how i feel i'm gonna squeeze all the lemonade out of these
lemons that i can get right now i'm gonna learn how to better serve you and everybody else in the
world from my own experience that's what gets me through as an enneagram five so i'm gonna figure
it out for myself and i'm gonna figure out how to help you and challenges like this are so isolating
people are sick of hearing me talk about every day i wake up and i'm worse and i hardly talk about it
i'm i'm not like you know i don't make everybody talk about it but i'm struggling so
i mention it to people and you know i said i'm like i can't believe i'm sick girl
it's become so isolating because i haven't gone out because i look crazy and i don't feel well and
if i go out i have to explain to people why i'm sick so then i'm talking about the elephant in
the room so i haven't gone out in a long time and doing the things that you know you have heard me
in my podcast in my videos before that you know i work hard and then i play and relax hard with
my friends i haven't been able to do that because this has precluded me from doing doing just that
just like in porn porn creates a lot of isolation it creates a lot of social anxiety
literally causes it i've been digging into more of the research if you don't feel you can go out
and socialize with people it's because of the anxiety and the social anxiety that aspect that
porn is stirring up for you and it creates a lot of isolation the solution is to get into community
so i'm gonna do exactly what i tell you all which is why i have to create more time
you know i have to dedicate my time my money and my energy to solving this and again it gives me
great empathy again because the last thing i want to spend all of that on my resources my
very valuable resources is figuring this stuff out or actually having someone help me figure it out
you know i don't want to do it but i have to and if you're caught in a porn cycle i know you don't
want to deal with it i know you want to run the other way you can't you gotta approach and engage
and you know i've been kind of downplaying it but now it's time to just deal with it and i'm
not up playing it here i'm not dramatizing it but i'm just you know in a spade a spade and
that's what i want you to do to say to yourself you know this is an issue for me and i'm going to
deal with it i'm going to deal with it head-on when it comes to my friends and
my family they've been great with already trying to help me and today i had a meeting with my new
doctors team and you know one of the questions was what is the support system that you have in place
it really made me think that i'm going to find a recovery group for people who are struggling with
stuff like this because i've done things like this before in my life and it's time to do it again
because it's on your mind a lot and you need help and you need support from like-minded
people who know the struggle that you're going through because your people do run out of the
bandwidth of listening to it and most people that we know aren't the most emotionally mature
people in the world so they have difficulty dealing with your pain in the first place
so you have to find a safe community to be able to do that and it's on my list of things to do is
to find a a some type of recovery group for stuff like this so i can show up invent and share with
people my experience i can hear from people who have been on this journey ahead of me and they can
provide me with not only support but with more information on the things that i need to do
because i already know the things i don't know about this are wide and deep just like in porn
i've already learned a couple things i've been ignoring it my normal personality type is to dig
into everything about uh mold and bacteria and i haven't been doing that probably out of a stress
response a flight stress response um but i plan on it which is why in three years i will hopefully be
the world's foremost expert on mold and porn what a weird combo right classic trish lee by the way
so i'm gonna double down and figure it out but just in the little research i've done and when i
do research i don't go to health line i go to the studies the little research that i've found this
thing is just as mind-blowing as porn addiction is there's so many working parts and they all
work together and they all have to be explored together and honestly i think they're gonna be
a lot of the same parts that i've already talked about in my programs so the programs that i have
for porn addiction you know and this isn't the commercial part of this trust me but just sharing
is the programs that i've put together are a three by three brain rewire program so it's a neurobio
psychosocial approach that is the approach to overcoming any illness any health care issue
addiction any life situation issue life situation means it's the situation your life is in right now
which is a hundred percent changeable you just have to do the things to change it which is
very difficult i'm not downplaying that but i'm mustering up my own energy to go do the things
that i need to do and they're not going to be easy so this is more of a pep talk for me than you
the three by three program is a program that looks into the past to unwire trauma dysfunction and
patterns i know there's stuff there that is likely at the uh not causing obviously it's not causing
mold or bacteria but it's making it so that my immune system isn't strong enough to fight all
that stuff off so number one is doubling down on you know figuring out what some of the patterns
are that i need to break so i can get emotionally healthier so i can get physically healthier
that's the unwire aspect and i'm going to go to work on more more stuff that i haven't looked at
before then the rewire part is rewiring the way that i live my life if there's mold in my home
which they're testing it i will have to get it remediated i'm likely gonna have to move out for a
short time so when you see me somewhere else soon don't be surprised i have to rewire the way that i
live my life i brain mapped myself the other day and i could see the impact that this thing has
had on my brain i've started to use my premier neural feedback program every day i'm using my
muse headband every night i've doubled down on the supplements that i've taken i'm doubling down on
my workouts i'm changing my schedule to free up the time and energy and the money to dedicate to
this thing i'm changing things i'm making it so that i'm going to deal with this thing head on
and not just sit around in it or run from it anymore that's the rewire part that's what you
need to do in your porn addiction journey once you come to terms with the fact that this thing
needs to be dealt with and then the hard wire is setting new goals for the future and it's pretty
crazy for me because i'm not a control freak but i've noticed that i love the flow of life
but it usually goes in my favor or i embrace it as an adventure so again i'm embracing this as a
adventure is the wrong word but that you know it's something i have to do i don't have a
choice so i'm going to make the best of it i'm going to learn from it i'm going to grow from it
and to be able to do that i have then set goals towards the future of having a more balanced life
having more downtime having a more chill demeanor and personality by putting uh the right team in
place to help me accomplish my worldwide goals of helping you so in the end hopefully this you know
nasty little thing that i'm dealing with is an opportunity for me to optimize my life i refuse
to let it take me down i absolutely commit to it helping me do the things i would have never done
if it didn't show up in my life to become a better version of myself that's what i want for you
that's how i want you to approach porn addiction if you're wrapped up in the cycle yeah it's
been going on for you for a long time yeah it's good sometimes but it's mostly bad and creating
a lot of stuff in your life yes it's going to be difficult for you to figure out how to overcome it
but it can be an opportunity that in a year or two or three you're a completely different version of
yourself that you never imagined could exist and so for me and my journey i've done that which is
i've done that i've helped other people do that i the reason i'm here for porn is i help someone in
my life completely transform his life by leaving porn behind but now it's shown up in my own life
for my own opportunity to practice what i preach i'm good at helping people i'm not so good at
asking for help which i've had to do a few times lately not an easy thing for me and i'm assuming
i'm gonna have to do it some more sometime soon so you can ask for the help that you need you
can sign up for the right program you don't have to sign up for mine if you're finding this video
and you have other people that you want to work with sign up for the program with them it's most
important that you find the right person that feels good to you but they have to have the right
tools it should be something like my program a neuro bio psycho-social approach it looks like
it looks at all the pieces of what you have going on so that that person can help you and really
i want to encourage you to have the courage in the face of fear to move forward in this thing
don't ignore it it will only get worse i've been ignoring this thing in my life
and it's getting worse it's time to stop ignoring it and it's time to embrace the change
that can lead you to ultimately where you want to go even though it's scary all right well thank you
for understanding hopefully i get better and not worse and you just see more and more of me and
if not zach's gonna show up here on the channel i will show back up and give you updates hopefully
looking less emperor palpatine and looking more vibrant and being able to share everything i want
to share with you okay so remember until next time control your brain or it'll control you