Hello and welcome.
To Conan O'Brien Needs a Fiend.
I am your host, Conan O'Brien, (woman snorts)
or you can call me just, Conan.
(man laughs)
You know, I'm getting very self-conscious about the intros
because I've been listening.
I never listened to a lot of other podcasts, and now,
I'm listening to other podcasts and,
they're a little more formal when they open the show
and I'm realized that I'm not.
And, I think that's why I just started so formally,
which is not my way.
Usually, I don't think about it at all.
And that's a better way to go.
I've notice in the first line, you do,
you go formal right out of the gate.
And then, immediately lose it, the next line you speak.
I was gonna say, I agree.
I, I think you'd start off very like,
hello, this is Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
(man laughs)
I'm Conan O'Brien. (man laughing)
It's like you have a voice that you do
and then you quickly snap out of it.
[Conan] Yes.
Yes. Because,
I,
I get this idea in my head.
I, when I hear other people do podcasts,
they start with this kind of authority.
And, I don't, I feel like I shouldn't, I don't have that.
I don't know.
Does that, does that make sense?
Yeah. You go from like 70's radio DJ to basement podcasts.
And... (woman laughs)
[Conan] Well, because I, I forget that I'm,
what it is we're doing
Yeah.
[Conan] At the beginning, Matt, when you say, okay, Conan.
Get us started.
You can go now. Three, two, one.
It's very natural.
That's, that's not a natural place to start from.
[Matt] Yeah.
[Conan] So, I go, hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien.
And I'm like, welcome to PBS news hour.
(woman laughs) (man laughs)
And, we'll be talking about the ancient Incas.
Did they really have their own calendar?
You know? And, that's... (Matt laughs)
But we're not, that's not us.
[Conan] No, I know it's not us.
But, when we start and I'm on my own, for about,
I would say it only lasts for about eight seconds,
but that's what I do.
Then, I realize I'm just with you knuckleheads
(both laughing) and what are we doing?
And, I re-, I remember my own absurdity as a human being.
And then, the next thing we know we're just,
talking like this and I'm saying (mumbles).
And, and whatever. (both laughing)
And, whatever else. (both laughing)
But, I realized just now, I don't know why,
but this is the first time I realized
that I do get into my head
when I do an introduction sometimes.
[Matt] Yeah, you do it so formally
that it makes me feel like, why, wait,
are we more important than I know?
(woman snorts) [Conan] No.
Trust me, we're not. No, no.
No.
[Matt] It just goes away. I just, you know.
I laugh every time. [Conan] Oh!
Every time you have a serious voice, it makes me laugh.
[Matt] Yeah, do you notice that Sona and I share a look
on the zoom every time, look checking in with each other,
God, and he's doing it again.
(Matt laughs) [Conan] Hello and welcome.
Hello. But, so what, should just be more like,
hey there. Conan O'Brien that kind of thing?
[Matt] Well, that's a little, too dismissive.
I'll just be you?
[Conan] You see. No, it's, it's, it's, this is, oh man.
This, you can't get in your, you can't get in your head,
you know. You just can't get in your head.
And now, what I've heard is that's too formal
and that's too informal.
Okay. Now, I'm in my head even further than I was
when we started, you know. Yeah
[Conan] So nothing I do.
Let's try a couple of, really right now,
a couple of, [Matt] Okay.
[Conan] just give me a cup.
Just point to me, say, go or action.
And I'll give you, let's do like three or four in a row
and see if we can find it.
[Matt] Sounds good.
Three, two, one, go.
[Conan] It's Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
I'm, no that's... (Matt laughing)
Another one quickly. (Matt laughing)
Quickly.
[Matt] Three, two, one. Go.
[Conan] We got a show for you.
(Matt laughing)
Quickly, again. Come on.
[Matt] Three, two, one. Go.
[Conan] Hi. It's Conan. You know me?
(woman laughs)
I'm the same guy you've been chilling with since 1993.
[Matt] That's pretty good. (woman laughs)
That was pretty good.
[Conan] I haven't changed. (Matt laughs)
I've still the guy you didn't like then,
and you grew slowly to like last year.
How about that? (woman laughs)
[Matt] That's not bad, but I think you should just
open with a (mumbles). And you can just...
[Conan] (mumbles) (woman laughing)
[Matt] Welcome to Conan O'Brien. There you go.
[Conan] I am the Conan O'Brien. Yeah.
Or, I mean, that's the other thing too,
is we're, we should have a morning zoo energy.
Where you and Sona are making a lot of noise and you have
(mumbles) (Matt laughing)
And I'm like, all right, you guys, knuckleheads.
Quiet down. We got a lot of traffic on 101 freeway.
(woman laughs)
And today, we're talking to a sex therapist.
I'm looking through the glass right now.
She's brought nine dildos. (Conan cheering)
(people laughing)
Oh my God.
[Conan] (mumbles) [Matt] (mumbles)
[Conan] We're getting a call right now.
Let's, it's bees man. Bees man's out.
And he's bothering women on Ventura Boulevard.
What's up bees man.
(mumbles) I just bothered some ladies.
Yeah, bees man, go man, go. (mumbles)
Well get the sex therapist in here.
That's the kind of show we need to be doing.
(man sighs)