hey England for the entirety of this
video I'm gonna be calling this sport
football and this sport soccer
okay well blimey mate we got a cheeky
bugger yeah we do we do well pip puff
cheerio hope with stiffy wank janaka's
god save the queen'
what did I just say so the theme of this
video sports either you love him or you
hate him or you have some other third
opinion growing up my family was never
big on sports we never watched any games
on the telly I'm sorry I still got some
British in me and me and my dad never
went out and played catch he also never
taught me how to shave he was gone a lot
he always talked about Heather okay but
I did play soccer for a couple years
when I was like 7 I was on the Green
Team sports at that age aren't even like
sports
it's just parents wanting you to go
outside more being a goalie on a soccer
team when you're that age is super
stressful the whole team is counting on
you even stopping a ball that's gently
rolled towards you was difficult one
time the other team we were playing was
so sucky that all the players spent the
whole game on their half of the field
and I was the goalie for my team I
remember just sitting down and picking
at the grass soccer was the only sport
that I've been on a team for well I mean
I'm not counting the track team that was
on for only two days there is this kid I
mentioned a long time ago on my Boy
Scout video named Micah now he was a
soccer fanatic I wonder what he's doing
okay England we have this holiday called
Thanksgiving we celebrate it because
it's when we left your lame country
don't ask what we did next so on
Thanksgiving for some reason it's a
tradition to play football before you go
and eat food so while the ladies stay
inside and cook the meal the men go
outside and throw the pigskin around I'm
just kidding you guys I'm not a sexist
but I mean that is what happens so one
time during Thanksgiving I was a little
kid like 11 or 12 now I was playing
football with my dad and his other 40
year old friends so me being the
littlest I wasn't particularly the best
player but while we were playing I
freaking caught the ball I caught it and
then I just started booking it across
the field I probably never ran so
quickly my entire life
and I actually made it I scored a home
run Wow and that to me was such a
pivotal point in my life I felt so
accomplished me a little kid scored a
goal against a bunch of adults
I would think back to it if I was ever
feeling sad like oh I failed this math
test but uh
one time I scored a basket against a
bunch of adults when I was 12 but I
remember I was a senior in high school
and I was just driving and then the
thought came to me they probably let me
score that touchdown they were going
easy on me man growing up sucks
I was never all that competitive as a
child well okay I was never competitive
when it came to sports it's just a game
guys we're supposed to have fun we need
to not that important sports are good at
that age though they promote physical
activity you can make friends you might
like the sport and want to pursue it
more and it's not a big deal if you suck
I'm totally making my future kid play a
sport that is if I have kids what if I
die alone people make the comparison
that some people watch gaming channels
for the same reason that others watch
sports you're watching someone play a
video game why do you watch someone play
when you can just go to the computer and
play it yourself now replace the word
videogame with sport and outside with
computer and it's the same thing
loading artists made a very good comic
about the point I'm trying to make I'll
just read it what are you doing watching
this guy play a game that's pretty funny
wait so you weren't even playing
yeesh what a waste of time and then he
goes and watches the sports game man
loading artists is so much cooler than
me I've said this before but he was such
a big inspiration to me when I was first
starting out I just wanted to say that
again go read all of his comics right
now I just want to say it's fine if you
watch sports granted I won't watch them
with you because they're incredibly
boring you want to know why gaming
channels work it's because they play
different games even CaptainSparklez who
mostly plays minecraft and also who I
love by the way and I did buy a t-shirt
to prove my point but it's still in the
mail see look about a t-shirt and I
bought sunglasses right here so I just
want to get a big shout-out to the maker
shop calm who's taking a million years
to [ __ ] be my CaptainSparklez shirt it
was gonna be so cool I was gonna say I
bought a t-shirt to prove my point and
then I was gonna flick the sunglasses
that I also bought down this email says
it's gonna take three to seven business
days to ship well yesterday was the 13th
business day so what what is it Jordan 7
or 13 so I bought this just so I have
something physical to show my love for
CaptainSparklez I've been watching all
of his videos since TNT oh he's changed
it
but the point is he changes it around
the format and the rules of his let's
plays with all the different maps he
plays it's different for every video
even as role playing ones which I'm
still waiting for part 5 to come out
like imagine if there was a gaming
channel that only played the first Super
Mario game it might be fun to watch at
first especially if you're good at
playing the game and it might be fun to
watch how other people play it and see
what they do
but for 50 years don't you think that
would get a little boring after a while
I mean only so much can happen and
that's what I think sports is like
sometimes it's the same game same rules
over and over and over like spice some
things up once in a while
what if we're basketball there were like
mystery boxes like in Mario Kart and you
could grab them and that would give you
an advantage how about if a team is
losing they get some wacky hilarious
handicap depending on how far behind
they are so it's not hopeless for them
but James sports is supposed to measure
your talent whatever it gets boring to
watch I can understand if the teams are
neck and neck and it comes down to one
final play like what it does in every
sports movie that's why they have to use
that plot device in all the sports
movies to make it interesting but a lot
of times sports aren't like that like if
one team is leading by 50 points why
even bother watching the last five
minutes of the game I would rather watch
any Air Bud movie than a sports game
because stuff actually happens in those
movies and they're different each time
and there's a dog wearing shoes in it I
just want to say for the record if my
kid grew up to be a professional athlete
then I'll watch sports but only the
games that they play in and only the
games that are interesting why is it
socially acceptable to know everything
about sports and dress up but it isn't
acceptable to dress up in fur suits and
go to cons UCI I don't think it's
acceptable to do either of those things
you're both weird but don't let me stop
you you do you follow your dreams okay
let's talk about some stories in grade
school I was put in the honor classes
for my academic achievement which did
not help me whatsoever it probably hurt
me when I went to college but that's now
what we're talking about anyway so
during recess the whole class would play
kickball kickball is a fun sport anyone
can play it but it takes a pro to be
good at it what there was this girl in
my class who was the best kickball
player and then later when she grew up
she became the valedictorian of my high
school
and went to Harvard I'm proud of her
also my ginger friend Nick jiggly who
I've mentioned before he also got to
speak during graduation actually okay so
Nick had this thing where his hands
would shake I don't think it was
Parkinson's I actually emailed him about
it and he said I asked a doctor and he
said it's just a mild tremor ha so he's
probably fine but whenever he would give
a presentation in front of the class his
hands would be shaking and people would
think oh he's nervous but no actually
he's the most extroverted and outgoing
kid that I knew he just had a condition
that was a pretty long tangent what are
we talking about sports Oh
kickball since everyone in the class was
kind of already a nerd
I wasn't usually the last one to be
picked on a team I was usually the
fourth or third to last it's so
nerve-racking when the last five are
still standing and you think don't let
me be last don't let me be last and then
you get picked and it's like they think
I'm better than you
which I'm not actually one time I think
I was like 15 or something and me and
this big group of people went to a
Sports Complex and we were having fun
playing games and running around and
then boom the soccer ball just whacked
me in the face I got a bloody nose I
couldn't stand up without toppling over
for a few seconds and then I went to a
bathroom you know freshened up what
sucked was that it was a girl that hit
me and people made jokes like oh you got
hit by a girl it still hurt okay so I
sat out for a couple of minutes I waited
until I stopped seeing flashing colors
then like the man that I am I went back
and played some more and not five
minutes go by when it happened again
different person this time but after the
second time I was completely out I mean
I wasn't unconscious but I couldn't get
up I remember my brother had to carry me
out on his shoulder so I didn't play any
more soccer after that and in play for a
long time actually I don't think I even
played soccer after that whole
experience so thanks for watching that
was the video I didn't even talk about
how sports athletes are overpaid but
that's not really my Heward nor there to
say that some people think that I'm
probably overpaid I would have had to do
research to talk about the overpaid
athletes teachers they don't get paid
they get paid nothing but I mean it's
kind of like supply and demand I mean
I'm just talking out of my butt right
now
not everyone can throw a
footballs uh what else so yeah thanks
for watching remember to smash that
video smash that subscribe button smash
that comment bar and smash your
girlfriend I'm sorry