- Listen, you know I got the new zoom
you built like super Mario before he eat a mushroom.
(bell dinging) (crowd laughing)
- Wait a minute, hold up,
Chico built like an Xbox controller.
I said, wait a minute, hold up,
Chico built like an Xbox controller.
- Bring your ass up here, Big Mac.
Cool. That's that pot burning my nose.
Listen, your ass is too big.
You need to quit. - Quit.
I bet when you get in your bed,
you gotta do it just like this.
(crowd laughing)
♪ Okay. I said DC, that was cool, ♪
♪ but you don't wanna battle me ♪
♪ especially cause you built like that tree ♪
♪ On "Guardians of the Galaxy". ♪
♪ Groot-Ass lookin' (beep) ♪
♪ -(bell dinging) ♪
♪ I said Groot-ass lookin' (beep) ♪
I said Groot-ass lookin' (beep).
Look, I got some.
I said, Groot-ass lookin' (beep).
- Keep dancin', groove.
Look at your titties move.
Keep dancing, keep grooving.
What (beep) you want a smoothie?
- I said, okay.
I regret sometimes I got this weight,
but see you, you regret is in the middle of your face.
Naw, chill, that right there ain't it.
Soon as I got this tattoo mother (beep), I got rich.
- Hey, Hey.
(crowd chanting)
Hey. Hey
Hey.
(crowd cheering)
(crowd chanting)
Wild Style.
- Here we go, Nick, ain't no one
wanna hear your whack flow.
How's it feel that a white girl raised the ratings
for your black show?
- Hey, raised the ratings for your black show.
- Hey raised the ratings for your black show.
- DJ D Wrek, cut the beat.
Okay. Maddie, the things you said, some of them
might have been true
but it was this white girl that raised the ratings.
Honey pie, It wasn't you.
- Not you
- All right, now Old School, I'm addressin' you
I don't mess with Jessie Woo.
And Maddie, The only time my ass has ever looked fat
is when I'm standing next to you.
- Okay, let me say something.
Justina, you're wearing a net and it looks bad.
And I just know that you caught some crabs.
(bell dinging)
(crowd chanting)
Wild Style
- Real quick, let me start with Belly.
Okay, yeah okay.
- Hey, yo belly don't make a mistake.
The only rapper we like from Canada is Drake.
And Jess why you gassed?
your captain name Belly
and you used your belly to get a ass.
Swag, you ain't fly in a opulent way.
When your parents named you Swag
it was opposite day.
And DC, you spoke in our Jersey rock.
That DC stands for dirty (beep).
- Justina, we in your city.
And you rough, just like your titties.
You the only girl that gave Nick kitty.
But listen, when you hire white girls
make sure that they are pretty.
- He did with me.
- You good Maddie, you good.
- Said you not pretty
well, I'm a dash.
If I'm not pretty DC, why did you smash?
You liked it.
You on yo' white (beep)
You went down, called me a bike,
and then you ride it.
You liked it.
You on yo' white (beep).
You went down like a dirt bike and ride it.
- Ain't gon' lie.
I'm smellin' what you're sellin'
But we on national TV, girl.
Yes, we (beep), but why are you tellin'?
- 'Cause I thought they should know.
(bell dinging)
- Come here, Sisqo.
Bring yo ass here.
Now standing in front of me.
Yo ass is about to go to heaven.
Your up here with them.
Yasss, bitch 11's.
(bell dinging)
- Bring it on back.
You know that joke is so corny.
I should have got up here faster.
You look like a slave and I own my own masters.
- Ooh
- Listen, you own your own masters.
(beep) that is a liar.
That chain so old
(beep) yo dragon don't even have no more fire.
(crowd applauding)
(bell dinging)
Come here, Eman.
I need a clap, come on.
Eman, I can't stand you.
Your face
reminds me of the Georgia Bulldog.
If his face is strong
it's just the dog in you.
If you bark at me
I'll bark right back at you.
Woof
(bell dinging)
- Tell the truth.
Hey Royce.
Here's a message from me.
You look just like the count
from Sesame Street.
1, 2, 3,
4, 5, 6.
Emmanuel,
you sound like this.
(barks)
- Look. Okay.
Look, hottest in the street
YFN Lucci
Nick, you a pussy
YFN Coochie.
(bell dinging)
- All right, plain and simple, I get you, I get you.
Ay yo Bobby, look, look, look, ay yo, Bobby
you gotta be bothered
with the face of a father
and the body of a toddler.
You probably need your mama.
Cause you a little Trump.
This is what your baby look like
when you just get a little pump.
- Ooh. All right.
All right, all right.
You got me good with the body of a toddler
but let's be real.
You the one that got the face of a father.
(Bell dinging)
- My makeup's not good?
Okay.
- Not At all baby.
You look like IT.
- That was cute, but your rhymes are never too tight
career's like your body,
It'll never reach new heights.
I bet not a single person here follows you.
Pre (beep) baby.
Your mom should have (beep) you.
- All right, all right.
Clips, front and center.
Look.
Clips, I'm tired of you talking (beep).
I know you a pretender.
Your girl left you
'cause you always takin' other girls to dinner.
Now here's my question.
Why you always going out to eat when you creep?
It's like you put the word eat in cheat.
You also put the word, eat in treats.
You just stop eating meat, eat some beats and wheat.
- I see what you was doing.
That was crazy. That was crazy.
- Hey, hey
- Charlie Clips, I know you 'bout to go insane.
The red rag.
Yeah, he represent the playground gang.
- Nope. No.
- See, and you're supposed to be my boy.
That's, that hurt.
- I am your boy.
Your father.
- You're supposed to be my boy.
You really two faced.
Why you up here
Built like a rolling suitcase.
- Okay.
- You said a rolling suitcase, but boy, you need to stay on.
If I'm built like a rolling suitcase,
you built like a carry on.
- You just mad
You can't fit in the overhead
(bell dinging)
- I thought I told you that we won't stop.
I thought I told you that we won't stop
- Uh uh, uh uh.
- Freestyle, I don't know who want this.
coming up Chico, You don't want to test kid
but I'ma get it like this on the vex, Vic.
I don't know if y'all tattoo artist or convicts.
- Okay.
All right.
Hey Nick.
My vest is Bulletproof.
It's tough and manly looking.
But your vests look like it's made outta loveseat cushion.
- You, you really feel that way?
- I mean
- All right.
All right, yo Chico dog.
You need to look a little closer.
This one's for bullets.
That's for super soakers.
Your jokes are the closer.
You want to get with it?
I can take this (beep)
back to fashion over quickly.
I'm gonna tell you this.
I'm gonna tell you off the top.
Nick Cannon is the one
and you know, I got that guap.
I can buy yo (beep), I can buy his (beep),
I can buy shop and then buy your (beep).
- All right, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
- He been practicing.
He been practicing.
- Ay yo, DJ D Wrek.
- [DJ D Wrek] Yo.
cut the beat.
And Big Mac.
I know you really mad that they had to push shorty on you.
I know they say the camera has adds 10 pounds.
You (beep) got about 40 on you.
- Hold up, hold up.
Conceited, you need to really stay in your place.
Cause with that body, you really look
like Young MA in the face.
That wasn't a great flip.
Hamburgers, That's what he kiss
You're so big.
He has a size 34 wrist
and it's bizarre.
You're wearing a chain with keys, but never owned a car.
And your teeth are too green.
Who's seeing this chain
so fake looks like your mommy bedazzled a shoestring.
- All right.
- All give it up for the white man.
That bar was a killer
but I'm not gonna take no disrespect from a hillbilly
That be (beep) his own sister.
(bell dings)
- When I'm rapping, I can come back kid
and I never effed my sister.
She's not even attractive.
- Hold on.
- You talking about you don't (beep) yo' sister
Man, yes you do.
Up here looking like Shaggy from Scooby Doo.
- Refrain, he's lame.
You look like Steve Harvey's key chain.
You're so small
Your rap name should be .03 Chainz.
Mayday, Mayday, melee.
You look like Ray Jay.
If he dropped outta eighth grade.
(crowd cheers)
(bell dings)
- Now listen, Travis.
Look now I don't wanna style with ya.
Look and I don't wanna get wild with ya.
I'm too ready.
My bars heavy.
You look like a fake Machine Gun Kelly.
- Yo, I hate to do it
because I love Young Fly
but why the (beep) did MTV let you remake How High?
- 'Cause listen close,
you little whore.
This is wilding out.
This a black show (beep).
This is not Jersey Shore.
Okay.
- I must say my trip to the A has been exquisite.
I got to meet the Geico caveman and the lizard.
- And he walked away on 'em, walked away on 'em.
- Let me tell you,
let me let tell you why they called me a wizard.
Don't push me.
Cause I zip, zap, zwap on your mama's (beep).
- Me not know what you say,
me not know what you say.
Me not, not, not, not know what you say.
Me say, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Cannon Nick nipple do show.
I say, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, conceded him never grow.
I say, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
DC, him look real slow.
I say, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
oh oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Okay, come here.
Don't do that.
You lied.
And y'all knew that.
listen, fe, fe, fe, fe,
this not your ha, ha, ha, ha
- You thought you get me
But it not go down.
The girl teach me how to pull
the lace front down.
- Hold up, hold up, Eman.
You up here doing all that.
Boom. Pow.
Nick, Who does that?
I thought there was a Jamaican theme.
You up here built like a Rugrat.
- Well, DC
- We know you get girls, but they only the slutty kind.
That's why I never hit you with the Dutty whine.
You know Justina V. I am no liar.
You out here burning (beep).
so they screaming mo' fire.
Mo' fire, mo' fire.
- Okay, all right, please don't do this.
Uh uh, don't hurt me.
The red on your pants.
that stands for herpes.
Here we go.
You don't wanna do this, Uh uh, stop.
the black on your pants.
Mean yo' coochie got bumps.
Here we go.
Uh oh, you better stop.
She already got on yellow.
You know what that mean?
Everybody can come in, hello.
(bell dings)
- Let me get clips, yeah.
- Help her out.
- [Nick] Her rhythm is, you gotta help her.
- Okay. Right here we go.
Clips. You're walking round.
Like you're the best
looking like DJ Khaled
without the success.
- Okay, hold on. Ready?
- Khaled claims
He doesn't go down on ladies
but I bet you'd eat me if I was covered in gravy.
- Cause he's fat.
- Hold on, hold on.
Yo, white girl you better look out
and tell your mother to stop
calling the cops on our cookout.
- Oh.
- And understand that the hate is valid.
And why the hell do your people put little raisins
in potato salad?
- Okay, all right. Let me get one more for Clips.
One more for Clips
If you walk 10 steps
I don't think you could go further.
Martin Luther King, junior bacon cheeseburger.
(crowd cheering)
- She had a dream.
She had a dream.
- Come here, Carter.
Come here, Carter.
I want y'all to look at this.
Look at this face.
All right.
Now Carter, just chill.
Your girl know
I'm a rider, man
but don't he look like the Green Goblin
from the movie Spiderman?
(bell dings)
No (beep), I'm not, I don't (beep) with you.
- Yeah. I take your girls bubble.
You know the struggle.
You're wearing the same shirt
as my unemployed uncle.
And you know that I came for you.
You're chain so fake that it probably came with glue.
Come here, Hitman.
I came for you
and I'm so aiming too.
Oh, your teeth, they're confusin'
I don't like what you're usin'
your teeth are so white
that they probably went to my family reunion.
- Oh
- Hey, come at me? Don't bother.
Hey yo, Nick, where the hell did you find
Eminem grandfather?
Hey yo, chill with the back on.
Hey yo, Chico.
You look like a M&M with a hat on.
What you trying to say, girl?
- Lemme talk to Hitman.
- Hitman, Hitman. Oh, my gosh.
Your mustache looks like a line of ants
but I bet it's bigger than the line in your pants.
Hey. Okay. Okay.
- Yo, your smile is wack,
your teeth are so fake and white.
They make me look black.
- What is goin' on?
These white people are whoopin' our ass.
What kinda reverse Jordan Peele (beep) is going on?
- You said my teeth so white it make you look black.
Well your ass so flat it make Justina's look fat.
- Thank You.
(bell dings)
- Next time you doin' this.
Make sure you make do.
Don't (beep) come at me
with them (beep) fake shoes.
- Oh, real.
- I thought so too.
Big Mac.
Come here, Big Mac.
Now, listen,
Big Mac.
Hee, you'll never have a six pack.
Hee, 1, 2, 3, 4.
You got belly rolls.
- Okay.
- I said DC, you know I like the action
and you look like an undercooked Michael Blackston.
- I look like a, a cook.
I what?
- A undercooked Michael Blackston.
Guess what?
You want some nacho, please.
Mixed with some broccoli.
Hey, you want a pot of greens?
- Hey, hold up.
I said, I'm going come through.
You know I damage ya.
Who the hell dressed you?
Like a strip club manager.
- Who look like a strip club manager?
What you laughing at, ugly ass boy?
- You said Timon and Pumba, but you need to take a shower.
Y'all heard of salt and pepper
with his brown sugar and flour.
Listen. Oh, you know, I got the new zoom.
You built like Super Mario before he eat a mushroom.
- Wait a minute.
Hold up.
Chico built like an Xbox controller.
I said, wait a minute.
Hold Up.
Chico built like an Xbox controller.
I said, Chico before Wild'n Out we never heard of you
Head so big I know all your cars are convertibles.
- You playing.
When I look at you,
I think that's so Raven.
Look you so short.
It should be a damn shame.
You built like a little damn man.
And I already know I'm going to explore the shore.
I bet you can walk up under a closed door.
(beep) get the hell outta here.
- Listen. He said, when you see me,
he think that's so Raven.
Funny thing is, that's still paying.
Look, I'm here to stay.
I may be short,
but I ain't shorter than your resume.