Buongiorno, baby! It's-a me, Captain Thew Albano.
Right, feelin' like a little third party action today
but while all the good Transformer channels are off with their Freedom Leaders and Ocular Arcees
this dumbass is gettin' into some long-forgotten old cobblers from six years ago!
Look, I'm like that. I do this. You knew this about me!
[Kup's voice]: I can't control it!
Mamma mia! It's Mech Ideas Bluster and Trench!
So, rather a twisty-turny origin story for these blue-collar bro bots, which began in '07 or so
when cardigan-wearing turbo nerd Derrick J. Wyatt invented cartoons
with the then-revolutionary hypercharged visual style for Transformers Animated
then started designing characters and just never stopped.
Like, he's still blastin' 'em out today on his Twitter page! Man is an absolute factory!
It was inevitable, then, that Minibot buttmunches Huffer and Pipes
would one day be swept up in this one-man imagination tornado
even if only to show up for one second in a crowd shot or whatever.
It's Huffer and Pipes. They're not exactly megastar material!
It's not like they were ever gonna get toys!
Until, that is, third party small bot specialists Mech Ideas just decided to do it themselves
and then also recoloured them as video game boys Super Mario and Regular Luigi.
I guess they spotted the not-so-subtle Nintendo nods in DJW's designs
and figured that, much like a mysterious cube of bricks suspended in mid-air,
there might be money in it.
So what do you say we bash our heads against 'em and see what comes out!
God, that was laboured, weren't it?
Let's-a go!
Yes mate, check out these Super Mario all-stars straight outta Cyber Brooklyn!
Now, this two-pack of Techno Toon Titans are some of the very few third party Animated figures out there -
possibly the only ones?
And they definitely take all the heavy shapes and thick, pronounced lines,
squished-up skinny-fat proportions and square facial hair that we all fell in love with
and then also mix in the iconic Nintendo bro colours to compound the nostalgia
into a Teefury triple-hit combo of recognising stuff!
Like, it really is kind of a headfrig how well this works as the double-double character homage
lookin' like Huffario and... I guess Puigi?
So as actual figures, they are more-or-less the same item.
Like, they work the same, most of the parts are the same,
save for the tubby-or-tall head-bod variation,
with Dame Judy Trench here stretchin' up like a proud plumb-thumb
and Bluster Keaton all squatted up like an egg man.
Agh, so many crossovers!
Is it okay to make a Sonic joke in a Mario video?
Anyway, lets get a closer look at little Colonel Blusterd here!
I dunno, he's sweet enough, in't he?
Like, he's got a good chunky solid vibe on the go and more than double his own weight in pure pizzazz!
It's nuts! Like, he's so clearly a mechanical man with giant exo-suit arms and treads on his trousers
but he also totally just looks like a tubby little geezer wearing clothes.
And Trench is about the same. Bit longer. Bit greener. Jumps a bit higher.
He's got knees. I mean, they've both GOT knees, but Trench is ALLOWED knees.
Not today, Long Mario.
Faces are fun and full of characters, with Ahrue Bluster looking surly and serious
and Trench Connection feeling sorta far-away sad,
possibly haunted by a head full of ghosts.
Truck hoods are lookin' good!
Like, the massive lorry backpack is such a hallmark of the Minitruck look
and a surprising sticking point on a lot of modern versions of Huffstuff and the Pipeman -
like, the iGear one was so tight you couldn't reach his head
and all the official ones just ain't got it.
But these lads are flauntin' 'em loud and proud with a bonus double hinge for piggyback action!
Posing's present but modest, with mad ball joints and natural hand expression on the go
but it's all a bit weird, like, the angles and their own shapes just kind of narrow down what they can do,
necks are on a very strange sort of diagonal swoop,
shoulders have got decent rotatey range but never seem to fully relax,
and the feet are some bizarre little brown shoes with borderline hopeless heels!
Fistful of fittingly funcitonal accessories in the bag!
Like, with a set like this, you'd kinda half-expect a bunch of family-friendly fantasy tat
like mushrooms and magic flowers and stars,
or some kinda jacked-up Energon antimatter bazooka or whatever
but these are workin' men!
Check 'em out, keepin' it humble and humdrum with the maintenance man plumber package!
Like, Bluster's just got a plunger and a wrench.
C'mon Monty Mole!
And Trench has got some pipes, I guess 'cos he's Pipes
and possibly also 'cos of pipes?
Is this whole thing a pun? Is this whole set just an elaborate "pipes" gag?
God, I hope so.
Anyway, the box is definitely in on the joke,
bringin' the old-school 8-bit vibes with mock-Nintendo design,
printed fake-out pseudo-scuffing,
fictional in-jokey screencaps, and secret hidden pixel sprites!
Talk about a Bonus Level, right gamers?
But yeah, can't be mad!
I mean, the big selling point here is clearly just the fact that they exist,
both as Animated Minibots and as Transformers what is Mario
but, I mean, that's valid.
It is a cool thing.
[SWISH SYNTHWAVE JAM]
Transformation's a bit of a dodgy drag, honestly.
All you've really goota to is smush the legs up and clip the hips into the wrists,
but they just don't always wanna line up.
Like, it seems like you've almost got it, and
aahhh, come on!
But yes, both bros crumple down into these TFA trademark track-leg trucks
perched on these tready paws like a standard Cybertronian four-crawler!
I don't know if I like that.
I mean, I get it - it looks like a natural thing for an industrial alien cyber-being to turn into
but they've got that same old problem as any vehicle shaped like a capital H -
there's always just a shade too much bloke-lying-down.
These back treads even seem a little bit unenthused.
The second you put any weight on 'em they just wanna sploot out the back
like a tired corgi.
But i can't be too mad, 'cos they are adorable!
Check 'em out, like a pair of adolescent Optimuses
with Blustio in the classic Primey palette
and Trench lookin' a litle bit Beast Hunters.
Do we think they did that on purpose? Is this Luigimus Prime?
It's too weird not to be intentional, right?
Cabs are lookin' crisp, all clean and cubey with their massive black windscreens,
assorted lights and thick black lines,
which are all terribly on-brand for Animated.
And look at this, Trench is even a tiny bit sorta taller and slimmer than Blustier's dumpier ass
and I love that they both do something different with their dead space
with Mariana Trench rockin' the pipes and Blusty Springfield bringin' the tool storage towel rack
but dude, that's a LOT of visible robo butt.
So yeah! This is a cute little set, man!
It's just a wonderful little third arty Mario party
and an excellent love letter to what could have come next.
I mean, I don't think I'll ever not want more Animated and the whole Nintendo crossover
is such a neat idea! I just want more of all of this!
Like, can we get the Constructicons as Wario and Waluigi?
Dirt Boss as Toad?
Y'know what? I'll just take 'em normal.
So massive mushroomy 1-ups to Mech Ideas,
wherever you've warp whistled off to these days,
and indeed, thanks for watching!
Big cheers to Kevin S for the bots and to Umar for the digibashes
and I'll see you in another castle.
What a weird one that was! Hope you dug it.
Massive patron shoutouts this month to Nui the Super Lesbian.
Stay safe out there, wont you? Right on.
Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.
Limited appeal, keepin' it real.