- On the last spoof of Glee, Rachel threatened Quinn for her nose when she broke hers because Finn did this...
- Sue wanted to end the Glee club but her plan kinda backfired when Karofsky admitted his feelings to Kurt
I love you.
- Emma's had enough of Will...
F*** your grape!
- And Santana still wants to get her mack on with Brittney...
F***!
- And that's what you missed on...
GLEE!
[Echoing footsteps, tense music]
Oh no, it's her! Run, Finn, run!
Okay, I think I'm safe. Maybe I've lost her...
AGH!
Have you been practicing your prom king acceptance speech, Finn?
No?
That's fine. We can work on it together.
Okay.
It'll only take us a good four or five hours.
NOOOO!
Finn, are you okay?
- Hello, Finn. - Hey, Rach.
Did you come here to watch me practice my scales?
No. Actually, I have to talk to you. - Oh. About what?
Well it's about Quinn - Oh.
Yeah. Is it just me or she been acting strange lately? Sam too. I think they're hooking up behind my back.
Isn't that what you did?
Well, yeah, but I'm Finn. - True.
So what do you think?
I think you may be right. You should hold a stakeout and spy on them.
That sounds like a good idea. Will you go with me?
Touch me. - What?
I, I said it's touching that he would ask me to join you in this stakeout.
I could have sworn you said...
So, what do you say you pick me up around 8:00?
Uh, okay. - Great.
Are you ready for your quiz, Brittany? - I'm so ready.
All right. When was the first motoring offence prosecuted in the UK?
October 17th 1895.
In the play Hamlet, who's the last character to die? - Hamlet, duh!
What is 50% of 41.25?
Um... 20.42600?
No, it's 20.62500.
Well, I was kind of close.
God Brittany, why are you so stupid(?)
You're the only person at this school who had never called me that!
I needs to have a word with you, wheels.
AGHHH!!!
That's right, you better roll!
Wow, these are some really good, binoculars, Rach.
They're top-notch. Luna Optics Ellen PB3.
They offer the clearest view of almost anything, especially at night.
You sound like you use them a lot.
Almost every night when I'm looking into your bedroom window.
Rachel, we've talked about this.
Sorry.
Oh no! Kurt's cheating on Blaine with Sam. I can't believe it.
I know. I can't believe we're stupid enough to believe that.
What do we know about Sam anyway? I mean if you think about it, we don't know him at all.
G-guys?
Not to be rude or anything, Tina, but we don't really know you either.
Yeah, that's kind of true.
Sure you do. You guys know me, right?
To be honest, I've known you for over a year now and I only know your name.
Come on, you guys know me!
Here, say something you know about me other than my name and my fake stutter.
F*** you guys.
Stop it.
Stop what?
You're cheating on Blaine with Sam and it's not right.
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there because honestly,
I'm afraid if you stick around too long, I might catch the crazy!
- You can't... - I will offer you this response to you thinking I'm cheating on Blaine:
B****, please!
The problem with dating Quinn, besides the mood swings, is that she's so protective about her feelings.
You never quite know where you stand.
Really?
Funny, she's never been that way with me. - What do you mean?
Well, I think I've seen her convey almost every emotion there is to convey: anger, sadness, emptiness...
She's never done that with you?
- No. - Strange.
They're hugging?
I'm sorry to say this but you know what hugging means, right, Finn?
Yeah. They must be seeing each other.
I wouldn't be surprised if they were married.
Sam, you have an announcement to make?
Yeah. I have to tell you all something.
What, that you're seeing my girl behind my back?
Oh, what the f***?
Finn and I know the truth.
What are you guys talking about? - We saw you hugging.
Way to step in before things get blown out of proportion, Mr Schue(!)
Be quiet, this is getting good.
I'm not seeing Sam.
Don't play coy, pimp Fabray. Sounds to me like you need a dose of your own medicine
Finn, let's make out and teach them a lesson.
Okay, stop! Quinn and I aren't seeing each other.
Then what's your big announcement? And why were you at that motel?
Because I live there!
My dad lost his job a few months ago. We lost our house, and now I'm basically homeless.
Kurt and Quinn have been helping my siblings and I out.
So you're poor? - Yeah.
Wow, misjudged that one!
So, what do you say we forget this ever happened? I go get you back your guitar, we sing and we'll hug it out?
Should I also forget the fact you were a hypocrite and thinking I was cheating with Quinn,
even though that's exactly what you were doing when Quinn and I were together?
- Yes. - Okay.
So, are you gonna help me spike the punch?
I don't think that will impress Brittany enough. - Well, it might.
I don't think it will, but I have to get back together with her. I just have to!
Dude, I'm gonna give to you straight. You had your chance.
Any other possibility of getting back with Brittany ie screwed.
That's not very comforting.
Sometimes you can't fight the power of Britana.
Now are you gonna help me spike the punch?
- Um sure. - Cool
Oh, um, members of the audio-visual club,
feel free to listen to me as I warm up my vocals and give me your feedback.
Tell me if I was brilliant or simply outstanding.
♫ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream
♫ [Jesse] Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream
♫ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream
♫ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
♫ Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is...
♫ ...but a dream
It's good to see you again, Rachel.
Jesse.
What are you doing here?
I mean, how was I supposed to know I have to actually go to class?
Well, that's what one does at school, Jesse.
That's so weird.
Not really, that's the whole point...
Did you know I walked all the way here to see you?
You don't have a car?
I do, but how was I supposed to know you put gas in it to keep it running?
So what did you do when you ran out of gas?
I got rid of it. It was of no use to me, so I gave the keys to some random kid on the way here.
Jesse, you can't just... - I came back to see you, Rachel.
So, what are you doing for prom?
Please tell me that was just a nasty rumour I heard about you and Jesse going to prom together.
He's joining Mercedes and Sam and I on our "prom on a budget." Nothing more.
Uh, I just don't trust him. Do you remember how horrible he was?
Do you remember how horrible Quinn was to you?
This isn't about me. - Yes it is.
Who I'm dating isn't your business.
Uh, I still care about you.
Look, all I ask is that whoever I choose that you be as supportive with me as I have been with you and Quinn.
Rachel, that's such bulls***! You've done nothing but try to jeopardize Quinn and I's relationship.
Get her a corsage.
What? - Get her something simple, a wrist corsage.
Oh, and make sure it matches her eyes.
I would go with a light green but not too green because it might distract.
Maybe more of a hazel with green specks.
What?
Fruit. Punch. Bowl.
♫ Here's my song: it goes, "blah blah blah!" Yeah, that's right, I said, "blah blah blah!"
♫ There's no lyrics, just "blah blah blah!" "Blah, bl-blah bl-blah, bl-blah, bl-blah!"
♫ Here's my song: it goes, "blah blah blah!" Yeah, that's right, I said, "blah blah
♫ There's no lyrics, just "blah blah blah!" "Blah, bl-blah bl-blah, bl-blah, bl-blah!"
♫ "Blah, bl-blah bl-blah, bl-blah, bl-blah!"
Hey, get your hands off of her!
Hey, you can't tell me what to do. She's not your girlfriend.
Ex! - Stop being jealous.
Stop it!
Yeah, if you're gonna fight, at least get each other.
You're embarrassing yourselves, really.
No fighting. You guys are officially kicked out of prom. Get out of here!
♫ "Blah, bl-blah bl-blah, bl-blah, bl-blah!"
But what about our nominations?
Looks like you're f*****.
I will now announce the winners of Junior Prom King and Queen.
Drumroll, please. Your Junior Prom King is...
David Karofsky!
[Applause]
And your Prom Queen is...
Kurt Hummel.
Are you f****** kidding me? - It's okay, sugary plum pie.
No, Blaine. What do y'all expect me to do?
Run out of here crying, all devastated and s***?!
F*** that! In fact, f*** all you b****es .
You just hate me because I'm not afraid to be who I really am. I'm not fake!
I'm not ashamed of what I am, so hardy-har, joke's on you!
Where's ma crown?
Quinn, you need to calm down.
This is your fault. No-one ever would have voted for me because you know he'd rather be with you.
I can't argue with you there.
I'm so sorry.
No, I, I actually liked it. - What?
Yeah. I happen to appreciate the drama of it. Do it again.
Rachel, what... - Do it again.
This is perfect practice for me when I hit the big time and I have to do mock fights. Do it again.
Yeah! Okay, again.
All I wanted was to win Prom Queen! I mean, can't I at least have that? Why didn't they vote for me?
Because you're hiding who you really are.
If you would just show people your true self, they'd like you, like, a whole lot more.
I guess you're right.
You're amazing, Santana.
[Poignant piano music]
Well...
[Record scratches]
...we should get back out there. - Yep.
[Slapping] [Rachel] Yes! Yes! Harder! Harder!
I always knew there was something between those two. - Mm-hmm.
[Rachel] One more time!
Alright, students. Mercedes Jones would like to perform something for you all.
Nice poem, Mercedes.
You pull me in with an unknown power.
Your texture, your taste, I love to devour.
You know there are good times when you're with me.
You're at your best when you're warm and crispy.
You look so lovely in any light.
You're my favorite treat, morning, noon and night.
You don't hesitate to give all you got.
You're my one, my only, my Tator Tot.