hi guys welcome back to my channel today I wanted to answer a question that I get
asked quite often on my social media and it's how did I know that it was time for
me to become a mother especially because I was that young and if I ever regret
starting a family that young so just to give you a little bit of background if
you are new to the channel hello thank you for joining I got married when I was
21 years old and I had Jake at 23 Benjamin at 24 and Maxie was just born
two months ago and I'm 28 I got engaged when I was 20 years old
- Gary love of my life hey baby and he proposed after two months which was
insane we were engaged for a year before we got married some of you might know we
have a really big age difference we are 18 years apart and that's a little like
controversial for people but that's why I wanted to kind of go back and talk a
little bit about how I got to a point where I decided that getting married at
21 was the right decision for me so I started my adult life when I was 16
years old that's when I started my professional career as a model and that
really started taking me to places around the world I had the opportunity
to live in France and in Tokyo I traveled to London and Germany and Spain
and I had I had incredible incredible opportunities I also met some amazing
people throughout my career but what I kind of tried to get to is the fact that
I was exposed to the big world in a very early stage in my life when I was still
kind of forming and that really made me mature very quickly I was traveling on
my own I didn't have you know a mommy to cry to or someone to protect me from bad
people of bad situations so I really had to be very aware of my surroundings area
where of myself I'm making sure that I make the right decisions so I really had
to constantly be on guard and constantly
make sure that I am on the right path that's something that really matured me
emotionally because it was traveling alone I was alone all the time I really
got to learn more about myself and who I am and what I want to be and who I want
to become and I had the opportunity to do a lot of those things when I was that
young that kind of already skipped me to a whole other place in my life
emotionally and with the way I think and make decisions so at the age of 16 17 18
I already felt like I'm very much advanced compared to other people my age
I was also always around older people I got really lucky to be exposed to all of
these things and I got to take a little bit of something from everyone and
everywhere went so when I reached the age of 20 I mean I wasn't your typical
one-year-old I was already very much financially independent I started making
my own money at 16 I was living on my own I was paying rent I was in charge of
my finance I was doing a lot of things that people my age weren't doing I
definitely wasn't at a point where I was thinking about getting married or having
children then at the age of 20 I moved to Canada to Toronto to join my mother
shortly after that and moved to New York for work when I moved to New York I came
to visit my mother once a month or so and one of those times I met Gary when
Gary because I was at a point in my life where I was complete on my own and I
wasn't looking for someone to save me that when I did meet Gary I knew that
this is the right person for me even with our age difference and all these
kind of things that I guess should have stopped me in a way from going after
this relationship it didn't because I truly felt like it's so simple this is
it this is the base to the overall starting a family and becoming a wife
and a mother young have I ever felt like I'm missing
out on things maybe sometimes but I knew that there were and significant things
it wasn't anything that kind of made me break down so if my girlfriends were
jet-setting while I was eight months pregnant I wasn't miserable about it
because I did so much of it before and I also knew that I'm gonna do that after
two I already been there done that so I wasn't chasing that anymore I got
to a point where I felt like I needed to kind of progress in my life it was very
confident with the decisions that I made in my life and I was very confident that
I was on the right path and on the right track and very happy that you trusted
your intuition valaria good for you you did good the decision to get married and
have kids really stemmed from just feeling ready and very grounded and I
felt like I have a strong enough base of me as you know an individual not with a
partner not with Garrett just me by myself I knew that I'm ready for that
next stage so a lot of girls tell me how they really want to be young mothers and
they want to start their families and I think that it's so important to stress
that you have to first discover the world on your own you have to first
figure out who you are what do you want it's gonna be a process you're gonna be
changing with every year that goes by but having that strong base of you know
the person that you are being in tune with your emotion understand who you are
it's very important before you start layering all these like grown-up
responsibilities on yourself because that puts so much weight on your
shoulders and you want to make sure that you're strong enough to carry at all you
really don't see a lot of the hard work that goes into parent
and being a wife today I think it's even harder with being a modern woman because
we want it all we want to have careers and we want to have our degrees and we
want to go work and make money and we want to raise children and want to have
four kids and we want to travel and one we want a lot of things when we started
having kids and building a family I was also very very vocal about the fact that
I never want to lose the sense of who I am it was very important for me that
Gary knows that valaria comes first to buleria because if I lose that sense of
myself I won't be able to be the wife or the mother that I wanted to be all of
these lessons and the fact that I knew to demand this from the get-go it really
all came from just realizing and getting in tune with myself and getting to know
myself better and I think that's so so important it doesn't matter how old you
are I think before anything else before you add any more people to take care of
and any more things on your plate you have to master that that's really it I
don't think there's a right age to do anything I think it's just that feeling
that feeling of like okay I'm rooted I'm grounded I understand who I am and now
I'm ready to add more here not here and now I'm ready for the next phase in my
life a lot of the young girls that follow people on Instagram you know they
really see all these beautiful moments of smiling children and hugging and
laughing and dancing there's a lot of those but there's a lot of really scary
moments there's a lot of moments where you question yourself constantly because
you are trying to raise people that will enter society soon and they better not
make that society worse I think that as a young mother you always feel like
you're not doing something right but with every child and you know having now
mommy friends I understand that it doesn't matter what age you have a kid
you always feel like you're not doing something right
motherhood is the hardest by far the hardest thing there is out there it puts
you in such a vulnerable situation you always feel guilty you always feel
scared you always don't know what you're doing so it's very important to have a
very strong and you call a backbone it's not what people say if you're young girl
watching this video and you are just waiting for the day you get married and
start your own family that's super amazing I'm so excited for you and this
will happen for you but take advantage of this time that you have right now go
out there and do things gather experiences and knowledge and
information and meet as many people as you can and put yourself in situations
where you will learn more about yourself all of that will really prepare you and
put you in such a great position to start your grown-up life so do that go
out there take over the world and then continue with the rest when you become a
mother when you become a wife you can no longer be selfish I mean you can be
selfish I'm still selfish but not in that like real selfish selfish way be
that do that now be selfish this is your time to do it and be it enjoy every
single second of it because once you have kids being selfish comes with a
ball of guilt this sighs this is really it I know that there's quite a bit of
young moms that do follow me so I really wonder what made you feel that you were
ready for a child or if you got married young what made you feel like you were
ready for that kind of commitment or if you didn't have kids
and you're let's say married for a few years now what stops you from starting a
family right away it's a very interesting discussion and I'm super
interested to hear your opinions I'm kind of happy to go back to videos where
I just sit and chat with you and then you guys kind of give me your input and
opinions in the comments I feel like it really connects us and we can like talk
about a lot of different subjects so let me know what you guys think thank you so
much for watching and I will see you guys next time