- Welcome one and all, to a tale of despair,
wherein the new technologies all good folk must beware.
- What be this then?
- 'Tis a new anthology play about the dangers of technology.
Ye Mirror Black.
- Behold, our play the first.
Being the tale of a young jack-a-nape
who hath learned to read.
- I've heard good things.
(trumpet blowing)
- Young shepard, why dost thou not tend thine flock?
- Why, the young shepard hath put so much of his mind
into this book that he hath become but an object,
and I hath become sentia.
- Nooo!
(laughing)
(applause)
- Be this even fiction?
- That could happen, that could totally happen.
- Could happen?
It hath happened.
- Nay.
- I never see youngins without books in their hands.
Never look up.
Walking around.
Whose to say they won't go crazy and kill someone.
- Ay, obviously one must lead to the other.
- Oy.
- There was never such a tale of woe to now
then Winn who hath replaced his hoe with plows.
(trumpet plays)
- Yorgs.
I have never seen such a convenient implement
such as this here plow.
- You know I've been thinking about
getting meself a plow.
- Oh yeah.
- Behold. (squeals)
Thine plow hath dug a hole onto hell!
(gasps)
(applause)
- Oh now I shall never get a plow.
- Oh no, me neither.
You know I heard this one was based on a true story.
- I believe it.
- Yeah, I believe it.
I believe it could happen.
The devil is everywhere.
- We all do long for greater ease of living.
Yet laziness can lead to great misgiving.
- Young archer why does thou not practice at thine target?
- Behold, I hath brought my new technology.
A crossbow.
- Be that the same character from the first one?
- No it's a new one each time.
- Ooh, that's fun.
- Yeah.
- Ah, I hath shot mine bolt,
but it doth take too much time to reload.
- Mmm.
- Take mine longbow.
(grunts)
- Alas, I have become too weak from the technology,
and I cannot even hold it,
and now I have the plague.
- [Both] Noooo!
(applause)
- Strange twist indeed.
- But who can tell from whence the plague arrives?
- Mmm, who indeed. (blows nose)
(trumpet plays)
- Now be afeared ye goodly sons and daughters
for want of walking less whilst fetching water.
- Hark and behold, what new technology be that?
- 'Tis my new yoke what lets me carry
more water than before.
- But if thou carries two buckets
mustn't then thou carry three than four
than numbers greater still?
- Mmm, well reasoned.
That's what me told my neighbor, he got a yoke.
- Yoke, the convenience of the yoke
has made me forget the lord mine god.
- And now there art more bucket than man,
and we must storn thee in the village square.
- Noo!
- Mm, that be my favorite one. (applause)
- That one?
It's so over the top.
(clanking)
- Well it be why I like it.
- Oh, you know the town crier hath
ranked them all from best to worst
including the christ mast placed
starring John the Hamm.
- Oh, I love John the Hamm.
- Me too, such a handsome man.
All five teeth still there.
- Wow.
(applause and trumpet)
- Well technology will truly be the ruin of us all.
- Well, I'm off to go bury me eighth son.
Be you coming?
- Nah, I've been to enough funerals this morning.
I think I'm going to go cover myself in leeches.
- All right.
- Pamper yourself, you know, that's what you say.
- Sure, self care.