- So, I don't know if this video will ever go on YouTube,
but I'm gonna just kind of share authentically
some of the work that I'm currently doing
with my shadow work integration coach.
Just in general in regards to intimacy
and the vibration of intimacy
and why we sometimes get blocked.
Because in my relationships,
I used to think that I had this pattern
where these intimacy blocks would come up
and there was this, there was a lot of times I would think
that the intimacy blocks would come up
and it would be like the woman I'm dating.
And that's where the intimacy blocks come up.
And what I've realized recently
is that it's a two-way street.
So this isn't just them and see,
that's sounds like a very disempowering statement.
Cause like it's always them, it's always them.
Well, then why am I attracting, you know,
people with intimacy blocks into my life, you know.
And the work that I've been doing recently
is been around understanding touch.
When you're around somebody else,
you're getting close to them and I've always like,
I guess growing up, I think I craved touch.
But when I look back at it
I can see that in a way it may feel somewhat unfamiliar
to me to be intimately close with someone
and to have that kind of dynamic
where it's like really touchy-feely, you know what I mean?
Like I've definitely had relationships before
or I dated a women that were very touchy-feely
and it's something that I definitely, you know,
enjoy of course.
But in regards to like attracting love,
I think it's important to realize
why we attract what we attract
especially in like conjunction with our own blocks
and that we normally find people
that are gonna mirror back those same blocks
or you're gonna project that energy out
and you're going to pull it out of them.
So it's going to bring up
their own intimacy blocks in a way.
And I'm looking, you know,
I just (indistinct) I'm looking at my own past,
my own pattern, you know.
And I can see like, you know, it definitely in my past
with like my mom and my dad, for example, my mom, my dad.
My mom went through a lot of trauma growing up.
She went, was in a very like abusive household
and I think touch to my mom was like a very negative thing
because it was, there's a lot of abuse and violence.
And even my dad's not the most touchy-feely person
but I looked at it like, I was, I was recently
with hanging out with some friends
and they're in a like a new relationship,
but they're super touchy feely
and I'm like, wow, that looks really cool.
Why do I attract people in my life
where that's almost like a block.
Where that touchy- feely lovey-dovey stuff
isn't as much there.
And the realization that I've had for myself is
that it literally feels uncomfortable to me
because I didn't really receive it growing up.
So I'm not used to it, like, what do I do with it?
Like maybe a part of me feels like I'm not worthy
of being that kind of way and like
the ability to receive as well.
But the, the work that I've been doing,
my shadow work integration coach
is literally feeling inside of the body
and when those intimacy blocks come up,
to just feel it and to just let them be there.
And a lot of it's also rooted in shame,
feeling like I'm not worthy
or I'm not good enough or don't deserve it.
So there's like a receiving block there.
I've had many times before
where people offer to pay for me when we're out.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a friend in town
and she was like, "Let me pay for this dinner."
And I was like, "No, we'll, we'll split it
but I'm not going to let you pay for me."
You know, there's like a
it's like a receiving thing as well
but it's rooted in a level of that fear of intimacy.
A lot of times, it's a two-way street
where we may not feel used to
or comfortable with the intimacy.
And what I'm learning is how to go into that
to then become open and comfortable with it.
So that it's like easier to bring into my life,
like somebody that's like that in a way, you know.
And you know, something that my coach
also always tells me is like it's like,
you could go back in your timeline,
you could figure it out.
You could look at, you know, your, your childhood,
upbringing and stuff, but it really doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
What matters is that you feel the emotion now
and you gonna let yourself feel it when you get into
the circumstances and you let it like dissolve in a way,
you let yourself feel the uncomfortableness.
And it's an interesting kind of dynamic
but I've, I've, I can look back now
at my whole even like the last 10 years for me.
And I could see many times
that those blocks would come up for me,
where it did feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar
and I've kind of shut that part of my life out.
So a lot of the healing of intimacy blocks,
I think, come from maybe our childhood
but I don't think it really matters.
I think what really matters is are you feeling it now?
Are you able to see and witness
when you're in different dynamics
where maybe you're feeling
you're either getting intimate with somebody
or just in general somebody that's like hugging you
and, and, and touchy feely.
Are you able to like, be there, present with it?
And even if it's, you know,
it's funny because our belief systems and our way of being
is trying everything it can,
our bodies are doing everything it can
to remain in what's familiar.
So if there's somebody that's being touchy-feely with you,
it may feel unfamiliar and you may like kind of clench up.
And even when I was talking to him,
he can see like my body language
and he pays very close attention to like
how I respond when he asks certain questions.
And I, I kind of like, it's like, I, I lock up in my body
and I'm not as used to feeling those kinds of, you know,
it's kind of uncomfortable.
And it's such a weird thing cause it's like,
well, I crave it, you know?
But at the same time,
I'm blocking it out because it's uncomfortable.
So then I'm attracting people into my life
that tend to be you know, kind of have a wall up there
or they're also in the same spot they're trying to heal too.
And it, it brings me back to this point to where
what we send to attract in our life.
There's this idea called an imago.
And in an imago is an image that we have,
that is a combination of
both of our caretaker's growing up,
of how we received and gave love
and we continue to attract people into our life
that represent that same familiar energy, that imago.
And the question is, is,
well, how can I go within my own body
to open up my own intimacy with myself
and then also intimacy to allow myself to receive,
to see myself as worthy and to like
reduce or release any shame that may be there
from childhood or just in general inside of the body.
And the thing that I'm learning is one,
awareness is always key.
Can you become aware of when you become uncomfortable,
can you become aware of
when your body starts locking up
or you, you think that you're not worthy of something
so you kind of reject it and can you be present with it?
And can you learn?
It's like the energy is stored inside of our body
and it just wants to be released
and it's released through experience.
So the thing that I've been learning for myself is
how can I be more intimate, allow intimacy in
by being more intimate and open to that, myself.
So it's kind of an interesting concept, but, you know.
I think when it comes to attracting love, you know,
I've made a lot of videos on attracting love
and I've been in loving relationships
but there's different aspects
when you're trying to, when you're,
when you're trying to attract something into your life.
It's not just like thinking about it,
is doing the inner work
and becoming aware of where these intimacy blocks
may come up or whatever the blocks are.
If you don't think you're worthy
and you really get that through relationship.
You get that through dating,
you get that through experimenting
and seeing, Hey what does this feel like?
Why is my body doing this?
And all you have to do is feel it to heal it, that's it.
Awareness, feeling it to heal it
and then making a new choice
about yourself and allowing something else in.
It's almost like the nervous system begins to relax
as you begin to like, you know,
be present with that even when you feel it.
Maybe you have a friend that gives you
like an extra long hug, you know.
Even when I was, recently saw my dad, you know,
I gave my dad a hug and it's like almost, you know,
I could tell he has his own intimacy blocks
cause he'll give me a hug and he loves me
but then he'll like pat me on the back
and it's like, just very quick, you know what I mean?
So it could be the childhood stuff
but it really doesn't matter.
How we give and receive love is normally formed
from how we gave and received love when we were a kid.
And if you find that you're you're not attracting maybe
very touchy-feely relationships,
it could be because of that intimacy block that you have.
Getting close, maybe that represents pain.
Maybe it was, you know, some of it was, you know,
what my mom went through growing up
and I absorbed some of that, you know.
My mom was doing the best she could
and I think she's an amazing mom.
At the same time I think she,
when I look at how she grew up,
she grew up in that violent household
like touch to her was not something that was a
a positive thing, you know?
So I could see how we,
a lot of times the energy fields that we have
we absorb the energy fields of our parents growing up.
So the idea is how can we clear that?
And the way that we clear that is one,
we become aware of it.
Two, we go into it.
We feel it to heal it.
We allow the energy that's in the body to be released.
And then thirdly, we make a new choice
about who we are and we make a new choice
and we start like, you know, redefining it and feeling it.
And then, then it starts to wire in
like a new sense of worthiness.
And as we do that, we begin,
that's doing the work, you know.
So if you're trying to attract love
or that's your intention,
it's not just thinking the affirmations and you know,
maybe letting go if outcome is, is powerful too.
Which of course it is.
But the other aspect of it is like be the kind of person.
Whoever you attract into your life
is gonna be a direct reflection of you
and the work you're doing.
So if you want to attract somebody
that has no intimacy blocks,
then you have to first off release your own intimacy blocks.
By being honest with yourself, maybe you have them.
And, and I think it's something
that's more common than we think.
So my question to you is like,
you know, I don't even know
if this video is gonna go on YouTube.
If it's out there then I decided to put it up,
but the question is
and if you guys want more videos like this
if it does come out, let me know.
I know it's a little bit more raw.
It's a little bit more personal but,
but like this video and comment below
if you want more like this.
But what are, do you have any intimacy blocks
and can you feel it to heal it
and see like maybe maybe that energy just
wants to be released somehow, you know.
One of the most powerful meditations
that I have on the YouTube channel
has over 4 million views and it's on attracting love.
And basically it's feeling the love on the inside.
And there's hundreds of comments
from people saying that they attracted love
by listening to that meditation for 21 days.
And one thing you could do is you could listen to
that meditation for 21 days, read the comments
because I think it increases the belief
that it can happen for you, too.
There's hundreds of comments that say that.
And I'll go and link that below
if this goes out on YouTube.
But in general, the, our own, become the kind of person
that then gets that direct reflection.
I noticed that when I was, you know,
when I was working a nine to five job I hated,
I always attracted women
that were also working nine to five jobs they hated.
It was an equal reflection.
Then when I started doing what I love,
I attracted women that did they love.
And it's, it's always a reflection.
So if you want to, you know, attract somebody,
you you wanna become what you want to attract
and you wanna deal and do the work now so
that yes, you can do the work in relationships.
You don't have to have it all figured out
by the time you're in a relationship,
but these are things to become aware of
because I can see now looking back at my life
how much it was there, but how unaware of it I was.
And I think that all of us can kind of
look at ourselves in a different way
and see how we can become that which we want to attract.
So go after your purpose,
start doing what you love, you know.
It requires courage, I know.
Maybe on the other side of that
you'll start becoming aware of how you feel around intimacy.
Do you have a block there?
Are you attracted to emotionally unavailable men
or women in your life.
And if so, is it because maybe you don't believe
or you're not used to feeling emotional available people.
And what you to begin to do is you, you
you can begin to feel into that more.
Become aware of it,
feel into it and make a new choice about who you are.
So if this goes out on YouTube,
let me know if you want more videos like this.
Listen to that meditate for 21 days and yeah.
Just wanted to kind of share that idea
as I'm out here, hiking and this is the view.
It's beautiful.
Anyways, love you guys.
Talk to you later.