Over the course of eight seasons of Game of Thrones, Cersei Lannister managed to get on
the bad side of just about every other person in Westeros.
From complicated schemes to straight up ordering someone to kill their own dog, here are the
worst things she ever did.
And if you're not caught up with this show, be warned: Spoilers ahead!
To the bitter end, Cersei proved herself a master in spectacular feats of totally unnecessary
sadism.
"If you have any last words, now is the time."
Way back in season 1, Cersei established herself as the cruelest in the Seven Kingdoms: Remember
when Cersei's son Prince Joffrey Baratheon gets into a sword fight with Arya Stark, which
prompts Arya's pet direwolf Nymeria to chomp on his arm?
Needless to say, Cersei isn't too thrilled about this.
Realizing life could get pretty bad for Nymeria, Arya sends her away to live in the woods.
Solid plan…but unfortunately, things don't work out quite so well for Sansa Stark's pet
wolf, Lady.
Since she can't take revenge on Nymeria, Cersei demands that Lady is killed in her place,
And Ned insists on doing the deed himself.
Most of the terrible things Cersei's done can be seen as protecting her family, consolidating
her power, or getting payback.
But ordering the execution of a child’s pet because of something another’s child’s
pet did?
That's just beyond the pale.
It might be tempting to blame Joffrey's villainy on Cersei's parenting style, which could charitably
be described as "indulgent."
But there's plenty of evidence to suggest Joffrey's violent tendencies simply run in
the family.
Case in point: In the first episode of season 3, a conversation between Cersei and Tyrion
Lannister dredges up a supremely nasty story from Cersei's past.
At the age of nine, she discovered that one of her servants had stolen a necklace, and
so she ordered guards to beat the girl.
They were evidently so thorough, the poor girl lost an eye.
When Tyrion reminds her of this fact, Cersei lights up:
"If I remember correctly, she never stole a necklace again."
In a word?
Harsh.
Cersei Lannister isn't a particularly forgiving soul.
Just ask the High Sparrow…oh wait, you can't.
You knew he was in for it once he humiliated Cersei, parading her through the streets and
ringing a shame bell all while citizens threw things at her.
"Shame, shame…"
That was never going to end well.
In one of the show's most deliciously vengeful moments, Cersei regains control of King's
Landing in the most brutal way imaginable.
Using hidden explosives stashed underground, she blows up the Great Sept of Baelor and
everyone who happens to be inside it, effectively putting an end to four ongoing subplots in
one glorious lime-green fire.
Of course, blowing up a 200-year-old church to kill your enemies is generally frowned
upon in polite society.
And while she never seemed particularly regretful about her actions, she did suffer one unforeseen
consequence: Her son Tommen Baratheon commited suicide after witnessing the destruction of
the Sept of Baelor; a catastrophe that majorly killed his wife, Margaery Tyrell.
The conflict between the Lannisters and the Starks is a major focus on Game of Thrones,
but the rivalry between the Lannisters and House Martell gave us one of the show's most
brutal moments.
It begins with Oberyn Martell, who's killed in an epic fight with the Mountain while they're
both acting as proxies in a trial by combat.
Needless to say, this doesn't sit well with Oberyn's lover Ellaria, who gets revenge by
poisoning Cersei's daughter, Myrcella.
Not surprisingly, Cersei goes to extreme lengths to avenge her daughter's death.
Ellaria and her daughter Tyene are soon captured and taken to King's Landing, where they suffer
a terrible fate, courtesy of one Cersei Lannister.
Instead of merely executing them, Cersei has Ellaria and Tyene chained up in the dungeon,
facing one another.
Then, she poisons Tyene...with a kiss.
It's the same kind of poison Ellaria used on Myrcella, and it takes a verrrry long time
to kill its victims.
Cersei leaves Ellaria alive…and she promises that her soldiers will keep her alive, just
to ensure she sees every grisly second of her daughter's death.
"You will live to watch your daughter rot.
To watch that beautiful face collapse."
Vintage Cersei.
'Nuff said.
Things started going downhill for the Stark family when Ned agreed to become Hand of the
King for Robert Baratheon.
But the brakes were well and truly off when Robert died, leaving Ned and the kids with
no allies in King's Landing.
Although it probably goes without saying, Cersei orchestrated Robert's death.
That's not to say she didn't have her reasons:
"I killed my husband because it felt good to be rid of him."
Fair enough.
Well, there's another level of terribleness to this unfortunate business: Cersei's scheme
is just so needlessly complicated.
In lieu of far easier methods like poisoning or beheading, Cersei had to get fancy, opting
for an over-the-top assassination plot that requires multiple steps and multiple players.
Here's how it all goes down.
After seducing her cousin Lancel that's step one!
Cersei gets him to deliver far too much wine to Robert while he's out hunting.
"We were hunting…a boar…"
What he's trying to say here is: Robert got too drunk to hunt, which sounds like the beginning
of some Jeff Foxworthy joke, and wound up getting gored by a wild boar.
All part of Cersei's masterful plan!
As Robert dies, the absurdity isn't lost on him:
"King Robert Baratheon…murdered by a pig."
That means Cersei relied on three other living creatures to pull off her scheme…including
Robert and a very large pig.
And yet…her terrible plan somehow totally worked, which only makes it twice as terrible.
That's so Cersei.
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