-Welcome back. -Thank you, man.
Did you say "Dead Poo"? -I did say "Dead Poo."
-You said "Dead Poo," and you made yourself chuckle.
-I did make myself -- Well, I feel like that
would've been a perfectly good title.
-Segue into the video that we might show.
-I'm going a parody film version of "Deadpool" called "Dead Poo."
-All right. The skinnier, funnier version.
-Exactly. -Ryan Reynolds to my Nick Nolte.
-Exactly, yeah. Nick Nolte's playing Cable.
-That's right. -Did you know anything
about Cable before you played this part?
He's from the future. -I would like to say that I did,
but I didn't know anything, you know.
Did you read comic books when you were a kid?
-I did. -What did you read?
-I read Marvel and DC stuff.
I read "X-Men" stuff, but I wasn't --
-Thor, Hulk...? -I was more like Batman,
Superman, Flash, that sort of stuff.
-You were the tougher --
The movie that you knew was gonna make more money.
-Yeah. I didn't know.
-And I got privy later... -Yeah.
-...and then I did the big purple guy,
and it made a [bleep] load of money.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
The big purple guy made a [bleep] load of money.
-Yeah, it did. -Congratulations.
-It's crazy.
-Were you surprised when you first saw it?
Because obviously when you're playing Thanos,
you don't know what you're gonna end up looking like.
When you saw yourself on screen, were you blown away?
-No, it was -- I was blown away,
because, you know, I talked to Mark Ruffalo about it before,
and I was like -- Look, I talked to Kevin Feige
and all the people at Marvel, and they told me this story.
It was an amazing story, and then I talked to --
I called Ruffalo, and I said "What do you think, man?
I mean, is this cool? Is this fun?"
And he said, "Look, you're gonna feel more ridiculous
than you've ever felt.
You have a onesie on, you have dots on your face,
you have a helmet with a head cam,
and it's hard not to cross your eyes when you're acting,
and all this stuff, but when you see it eventually,
your mind will be blown." Right?
And then I went to set, I put on my stuff,
I put on my onesie. I zipped it up in the middle,
and then I went outside, and I saw Ruffalo,
and he looked at me, and he goes,
"Dude, I'm so done with this," and I was like,
"You can't say that right now!" [ Laughter ]
"Just started, man."
So then, I did a year of it, and then I saw it.
They gave us, like, a fake script
that we thought we knew what was going on,
but we didn't, and then, I showed up at the premiere,
and I saw it, and it blew my mind.
-And people -- I mean, again,
they have been very attached to this character already.
People online have done a lot of things with Thanos.
I really like that. That was...
[ Laughter ]
-Biggie. What's up?
Show me the money!
-Did you know -- So you didn't know Cable,
but had you known Ryan Reynolds?
Have you guys ever crossed paths?
-No, no, no, no. I saw --
I saw Ryan in "The Proposal." I thought that was a --
-That's a really good m-- [ Laughter ]
It genuinely is a great rom-com.
-It makes you want to just hug, doesn't it?
-Yeah, it does. There you go.
-It does. It's just, like, rom-com,
and it makes you just want to get close to people.
-And he and Sandra Bullock are genuinely great.
-They're genuinely great, and I saw him at a party once,
and he towered over everybody, 'cause he's like 6'4,"
and I thought, "My God, what a handsome dude.
I would love to work with that guy one day,"
and I then walked away, short and kind of squatty,
and waddled away, knowing that it would probably never happen.
And then, this thing came along, and they called me,
and they said, "Do you want to do it?"
And I read it, and I thought it was hilarious,
and I don't know if you guys saw the first one.
I think so, but it was funny. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah, and it was really --
-Funny and irreverent and cool.
-Really unique and fun. And I want to ask about this,
because obviously Cable is a pretty ripped guy.
-Yeah. -And you took it very seriously.
-I did. -You got fully.
-I ate as many doughnuts as I could.
-That is an actual -- That is you working out.
And it looks like -- [ Cheers and applause ]
It looks like you have extra bones in your stomach.
-I know. [ Laughter ]
I had all those inserted.
Those are all, like, steel insertions.
At 50 years old, you can't have that.
That takes a lot. -Yeah. So 50 years old --
-I have a hernia right there.
I don't know what the thing is above my belly button.
-Yeah. -It's like an extra penis.
[ Laughter ]
-That is not gonna ever do any good for you.
-No, it's not. No. You can try.
-If anything -- I guess, though, I think, if anything happens
to your first penis, you get that one out.
-I get that one, and I can show it.
We can go with that if you want. "Flick it, please."
No, sorry.
-How many weeks did you have to get into your Cable shape?
-11 weeks to get into -- -That's not a lot of time.
-No, it's not a lot of time, and I had gained
a bunch of weight before that for another film,
so I had to -- I didn't -- I did it cleanly.
I didn't do it with any steroids,
and I saw Dave Bautista, who I was working with at the time.
I walked around the corner one day,
and he saw me, and he goes, "Dude!
What did you do?!"
And I was like, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
[ Laughter ]
And he was like, "You look amazing!"
And when you get a compliment from Dave Bautista --
-That's pretty great. -Yeah, yeah.
And you -- the haircut --
You made some choices on the haircut?
Is that right? -I did.
It was my Bieber -- my Bieber attempt.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
And you thought Bieber was good for an intimidating guy?
-Apparently, I didn't see the right Bieber.
Maybe it was a stand-in for Bieber.
The Bieber with the gorilla face.
I don't know. I don't know.
There's a great mix there.
And I got this haircut, and I thought, "Wow.
This is really unique, and I'll like shave it on the sides.
It'll be cool. It'll be severe."
And then, I went outside, and every dude I saw --
I didn't realize it was, like, the fad.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Every guy, like, saw me, and he was like,
"Oh, my God. Hi. You got one, too?
That's great. [ Laughter and applause ]
-You and Ryan -- -Meta Cable.
-You and Ryan, for a movie like this,
you go, you promote it across the world.
-We did. We just went all over Europe.
-You went to Rome. -We went to Rome.
-And you were on -- you and Ryan performed
on "Dancing With the Stars" together?
-Yeah, but it was a different thing.
We did "Dancing With the Stars," which, first of all,
I didn't know there was a "Dancing With the Stars"
anywhere other than here. Embarrassingly so.
So when we went there, they said, "Do you want to dance?"
Like that's one of those things.
It's like, you go to Korea, and they go,
"Do you want to put on a unicorn mask and sing a song?"
and you're like, "Why would I want to do that?
I don't understand." -Yeah.
-Like, how does -- what does that have to do with the film?
So they go, "Do you want to dance?"
and you go, "Absolutely not. No way."
Because you said no, it's still like in a little file over here,
and you're done with that rebellion,
so you show up, and you see everybody dancing,
and it's amazing how well they dance.
So these little short legs got out there,
and I started twirling.
-Is this you and Ryan right there, making your exit?
[ Laughter ]
-You don't think any of this stuff
is gonna be seen in America when you're over there, right?
So you just kind of write it off in your head.
-You don't know about the Internet?
-No, you're walking away,
and you have this thought in your head,
and you're like -- Like, I hugged you, and it didn't work?
-Yeah.
-I held his hand, and it didn't work.
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, so congratulations on everything.
It's always just so great to see you, man.