What’s up ladies and gentlemen, Brad Browning here… as many of you probably already know,
I’m a breakup and relationship coach from Vancouver Canada.
You can learn more about me and my best-selling Ex Factor Guide program at my website, www.BreakupBrad.com.
Now, in this particular video, I’m going to talk about ways to rebuild mutual attraction
with your ex.
If you’ve seen any of my other videos here on YouTube, then you’ll know that this is
absolutely critical to winning him or her back.
You can’t simply convince your ex to take you back with words alone… in fact, that
almost always makes things worse.
Whatever you do, do NOT try to talk your way back into your ex’s heart, because that’s
a recipe for disaster.
No amount of logic and reasoning is going to convince your ex that they should give
your relationship another shot… instead, you have to tap into their EMOTIONS, and essentially
make your ex fall back in love with you so that they’ll ignore logic and give in to
their feelings.
That’s how you rebuild a romantic relationship… and there really isn’t any other way to
win your ex back.
Of course, the question now is HOW do you make your ex fall back in love with you?
How do you re-build that attraction that your ex once felt for you, so that he or she actually
decides on their own that they WANT to get back together?
Well, there’s a number of things you can do to make this happen.
I’m only going to give you a few examples here in this video, but I describe these methods
in full detail in my Ex Factor Guide program, so if you’re interested in learning more
please visit www.BreakupBrad.com and sign up for the program to get more info and guidance
on re-building attraction.
The first thing you can do to re-build attraction between you and your ex is actually quite
counter-intuitive, and it’s something I’ve talked about a lot in some of my other videos
here on YouTube…. simply STOP TALKING to your ex.
Yes, you heard me correctly: ignoring your ex and shutting down all communication with
him or her is an effective means to make them fall back in love with you.
As crazy as this sounds, this works extremely well.
I call this the “no contact” method, and you can learn more about it in some of my
other videos, so I’m not going to go into detail here… but essentially, there’s
two reasons that ignoring your ex helps to re-build attraction.
First of all, when you simply vanish from your ex’s life all of a sudden, you’re
“shocking” him or her into realizing what life is like when you’re not around.
On its own, this can sometimes be enough to make your ex beg for you to take them back.
It also gives your ex time to let go of the negative memories that may have led to your
breakup, and revive some of the happier, more nostalgic ones.
It’s human nature to subconsciously purge negative memories over time, so by ignoring
your ex you’re simply allowing this to happen naturally…
the result is that your ex will start to forget about the significance of the negative aspects
of your relationship that led to the breakup, and focus more on the happy times you shared
together.
Lastly, this technique also taps in to another element of human nature, which is the desire
to want what you can’t have.
Yes, this cliche really is true, and it’s been proven by numerous studies that both
men and women are attracted to members of the opposite sex that aren’t romantically
available….
so, by disappearing from your ex’s life, you’re making yourself appear less ‘available’,
which helps to subconsciously make your ex more attracted to you.
This by itself isn’t going to save your relationship, but it’s still a useful tactic
and further enhances the effectiveness of the “no contact” method.
This actually ties in to another attraction-building technique that also takes advantage of human
nature.
Have you ever heard of the term “pre-selection”?
If not, it’s a fairly simply concept: essentially, humans are hard-wired to be more attracted
to someone if that person is also being pursued by other people.
So, in simple terms, all of us have a subconscious bias towards members of the opposite sex who
are either already in a relationship, or being romantically pursued by others.
When you think about it, this actually makes perfect sense…
if I’ve got ten beautiful women chasing me around begging for my phone number or asking
me out on a date, then it’s only logical to conclude that I must be a great guy, right?
That’s “pre-selection”... and it’s also something you can use to make yourself
more attractive in the eyes of your ex.
By using what I call “Covert Jealousy”, you can make it appear to your ex that you’re
being pursued by other guys or girls, and thus causing your ex to question whether it
was a good idea to end the relationship with you.
Now, you can’t simply pick up the phone and call your ex to tell them that you went
out on a date last night…
trust me, that will end badly.
You have to be strategic and subtle when using this kind of jealousy tactic to rebuild your
ex’s attraction for you, which is why I’ve dedicated an entire section of my Ex Factor
program to the topic.
If you want more detail, please visit www.BreakupBrad.com and watch the video on my website… for the
sake of this video, just keep in mind that getting out there and dating other people
can be a very effective means of making your ex fall back in love with you.
Even hanging out with members of the opposite sex can be enough to spark feelings of jealousy
in your ex’s mind and improve your odds of getting back together.
Just exercise caution when you’re trying to use jealousy to win back your ex, because
it can easily backfire if you don’t do it properly.
Beyond jealousy, there’s several other things you can do to help change the way your ex
feels about you and your relationship.
One particularly effective method is to subtly remind your ex of the positive aspects of
your time together….
you can do this in person or on the phone, but it’s often easiest by text message.
All you need to do is find a logical, justifiable reason to send your ex a text message that
will remind them of a happy, fun memory that you shared together.
I’ve gone through a few examples in my other YouTube videos, but here’s a sample text
message that you might send your ex to bring up a positive memory: “Hey, hope all is
well with you… just wondering if you remember the name of that restaurant we went to on
our second date?
You know, the tiny romantic place in that back alley downtown?
That was such a fun night...
I want to go back there this weekend with a friend but can’t remember the name.
Thanks, talk soon!”
To your ex, this message probably wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary…
you’re just politely asking if he or she can remember the name of a restaurant.
But you’re actually forcing your ex to remember that fun night you shared together on your
second date, and assuming it really was a happy memory for both of you, then it’s
bound to stir up some feelings of nostalgia in your ex’s mind.
The more you can remind your ex of the fun times you shared together, the more likely
he or she will be want those feelings back again, which of course helps you in your efforts
to get back together.
If you’re having trouble thinking of what to text your ex to spark these kind of happy
memories, then please consider signing up to my Ex Factor Guide program, in which I
share a number of text message and email templates that you can copy and paste and send to your
ex to start re-building those feelings of mutual attraction.
Grab your copy of the program now at www.BreakupBrad.com.
The final tip I’m going to share is somewhat related to the ‘happy reminder’ technique
I just talked about, but it’s even simpler and easier to employ.
Next time you interact with your ex -- in fact, EVERY time you talk to your ex, either
in person or via phone or text message -- make sure the conversation is fun, happy, and upbeat.
Don’t be a downer, because nobody is attracted to drama or bickering.
By making your ex laugh and showing him or her a good time every chance you get, you’ll
help suppress the negative memories that led to your breakup and re-shape your ex’s perception
of you… if he or she thinks of you as someone who is fun to be around, they’ll want to
talk to you and have you back in their life.
I know this seems extremely simple, but you’d be blown away at how many of my coaching clients
spend all their time bickering with their ex or engaging in ‘serious conversations’
rather than having fun together.
The bottom line is that ALL interactions with your ex should be fun and upbeat, not serious
and depressing.
That just about does it for this video, thanks very much for watching… if you’d like
my personal advice on your situation, please visit BreakupBrad.com/Coaching for more info
on my 1-on-1 coaching service.
Similarly, if you’ve got a quick question or comment about this video, please feel free
to share it in the comments section below and I’ll do my best to respond personally.
Thanks again for watching…
good luck out there, I’ll see you next time!