hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 12 warning signs of a toxic
relationship now let's begin number one feeling ashamed of your personality your partner loves
to go dancing they go with their friends almost every weekend but for some reason you've never
gone together so that weekend you asked if you can tag along dancing with your partner is supposed to
be fun right but they don't seem very excited in fact they try convincing you not to go so what's
the problem your partner might be ashamed of you they're worried you'll embarrass them in front
of their friends this kind of shame is a huge problem but not because there's anything wrong
with you shame is a sign of something much deeper your partner may be avoiding a piece
of your personality they find something about you embarrassing so they pretend that it just doesn't
exist many people will say oh it doesn't matter but it does it matters a lot it's especially
important for your self-esteem shame tells you there's something your partner can't accept but
how can you feel confident when your best friend isn't proud of you if this sounds like your
relationship it might be time to make a change but before you do keep this in mind everyone does
something embarrassing every once in a while you might say something stupid or trip over your own
feet hey it's okay if your partner's embarrassed by some random thing you did that happens to
everyone but shame is a whole different animal your partner should never be embarrassed about
your personality if they are your relationship might be more toxic than you realize number two
belittling your responsibilities a good friend of yours runs his own company it took off a few
years back and you've been nothing but supportive one day he calls you while you're at work he says
he needs a favor you tell him you can't because you're at the office but he doesn't take no for an
answer he tells you to blow off your work and help him instead this is a classic example of a toxic
friendship because of his recent success your friend starts belittling your job in his mind your
work is less important than his the problem is he doesn't respect your priorities he thinks your
friendship is all about him so he starts acting like your boss you can't let these disrespectful
friends control your life these relationships get incredibly toxic incredibly fast so either
face the issue head-on or spend your time with someone else number three reckless oversharing
every couple has their own private world you have your own jokes you have your own secrets you tell
each other things that no one else knows but what if your partner spills all those secrets to their
parents or their friends most people don't realize how toxic oversharing really is every time they
give up a secret they're betraying your trust you told them something in confidence and they
chose not to respect your privacy this is a huge warning sign in a relationship if they can't keep
your secrets how can you trust them down the road number four making you the last to know in any
relationship communication is key but some toxic partners will make you feel like you're always
the last one to know do they take trips without giving you a heads up do they make major life
decisions without even asking for your opinion sometimes it's on purpose they may not care about
your opinion or maybe they feel indifferent toward the entire relationship other times toxic partners
don't realize what they're doing wrong but if you tell them and they still don't change well that's
a big red flag couples need communication and it has to be a two-way street if your partner
won't communicate your relationship probably won't survive number five settling for unhappiness let's
say you buy a new pair of headphones you take them home you open them up and you find out they're
broken do you pretend everything's fine or do you try to get your money back when a relationship
starts falling apart people get scared to ask for their money back you claim you're fine with the
way things are yeah you could make a change or even in the relationship but instead you
settle for someone that doesn't make you happy and that's never a good idea people settle for a bunch
of different reasons maybe you think your partner is the best you can do you might be terrified of
being alone but the most popular reason is you're scared of breaking up no one wants to be the bad
guy but settling isn't the answer settling means the relationship has lost its magic it isn't based
on love anymore you're not there because you care for this one specific person you're there because
you're avoiding something else unfortunately it isn't always an obvious problem unhappy
relationships may look strong on the outside while crumbling on the inside but over time settling
will lessen your investment in the relationship and damage your partner's self-esteem so if you're
unhappy do something about as bad as breakups are stuffing down your feelings is never the answer
number six overwhelming emotional stress does your partner make you feel emotionally drained
you might be in a toxic relationship every conversation shouldn't push you to the limit
emotional extremes like sadness and anger should never be everyday occurrences you want to spend
most of your time feeling relaxed being in each other's company should almost always be a positive
experience and if it's not there's something wrong in the relationship the hard part is it may not be
anyone's fault sometimes you can be healthy as individuals but a disaster as a couple it could
come from pent-up anger or maybe you both feel unsatisfied whatever your reason is emotionally
exhausting relationships do more harm than good number seven diverging priorities your partner
has always been a hard worker they love their job so much so that it gets in the way of the
relationship if you're the same way than you to sound like a perfect match but if not you might
have a bigger problem one person shouldn't be putting in significantly more effort than the
other it creates a vicious cycle of neglect and frustration so when it comes to your
relationship make sure that you and your partner have similar priorities number eight barbed humor
there's nothing wrong with teasing your partner as long as you keep things light and respectful
it's almost like a game you poke fun at them they poke fun at you and then you both laugh about it
you're not seriously criticizing each other but toxic partners cross that line they use
something called barbed humor it's when someone makes jokes to tear people down barbed humor is
especially painful coming from a partner or close friend they know you on a very personal level so
they know what you're sensitive about the best thing you can do is stand up for yourself now
of course that doesn't always work toxic partners often pretend that it's your fault they might say
why are you being so sensitive or why can't you take a joke but you're not the this kind of barbed
humor means your relationship has gotten toxic so don't sit around and wait for things to get
any worse number 9 identity fusion couples should be close just not too close you're not the same
person you should always have your own separate passions and goals for example if they really
like sports that doesn't mean you have to lots of insecure couples make this same mistake they get
scared of falling apart so they merge their lives together they share everything likes dislikes
hobbies even their opinions but these couples are volatile a tiny disagreement can easily turn into
a massive fight you're working so hard to stay together that you're driving each other away the
truth is differences are healthy the best couples can enjoy each other as the individuals that you
are number 10 two faced complaints let's say you do something that annoys your friend instead of
telling you they pretend everything's fine but right after you leave they immediately complain
to someone else they can't stop talking about how annoying you are until you come back then suddenly
everything's fine again chances are they're not interested in fixing these problems they're just
looking for attention even if it comes at your expense number 11 relentless criticism is your
partner hyper critical of everything you do some relationships are so toxic that people are scared
to act like themselves there's a constant air of judgment and tension you're always worried
about what they're going to say next but that's not how a healthy relationship works you should
rely on your partner for support you need them to build you up they should give you the confidence
to embrace who you are and not the other way around number twelve insecure manipulation
relationships should be a choice you have the freedom to stay just like you have the freedom
to leave but what if your partner isn't letting you choose emotional manipulation is a surefire
sign of a toxic relationship your partner might be insecure so they make you feel guilty or they
attack your character even if they're just scared of losing you manipulation is never healthy it
shows that they don't trust you otherwise they wouldn't worry about you leaving so don't let this
kind of manipulation slide not only is it toxic for you it's toxic for them too hey thank you
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