Happy "Satur-Kay," everybody!
Now listen, it's gifting season, and you
know what that means: cookies!
Kalen, we have no cookies.
OK.
Well, no cookies then.
But I do have wrapping paper.
Because today I'll be given five minutes
to wrap three hidden items that will
be presented to me one by one.
Now, I have no idea what I'll be wrapping,
so Jesus take the wheel.
Now let's put some time on the clock and get to it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Bring me the first gift.
It's already wrapped.
You want me wrap it again?
Oh, I got to lift it up.
Let's go.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, shoot!
I'm going to do red.
This is the original hat too.
In the middle, great.
I love that this has grid on it.
Let me make sure that--
You've got to come in halfway.
There we go.
Then you just do that, and that's
how you go all the way down.
You don't even have to cut all the way.
Boom!
See I'm a pro gift wrapper.
Now we're going to take this middle apart.
Let me get my Scotch tape.
Boom.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Little more.
Oh shoot.
Oh, I got to tape the middle.
How much time has gone past?
A minute thirty.
Shoot, it's not sticking, it's not sticking.
OK.
Done.
I should have probably done it the other way, shouldn't I?
Because then it would have been more pretty
because it was nice and flat.
OK, anyway.
Next one.
(SINGING) Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree.
I don't know the rest of the words.
Something, something, something, some.
Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, dun, dun.
What the hell?
What is this?
Oh my gosh.
Do I need to take this out of here?
[LAUGHING] Why do we still have this?
It was such a fail?
Let's see if this stuck.
[LAUGHTER]
That's false.
Here we go.
Now let's see here.
Shoot.
I'm going to set that down.
Let's go and do the blue this time.
I'm going to make the length of the table.
No, I need longer than that, don't I?
Anyway.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Two minutes left.
Two minutes left total?
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, it came off!
It don't stick to the sand, whatever this wood is.
It's not stickable.
Done.
Just present it like this.
That's good enough.
I smell something.
That smells good.
I may want to eat that.
What's that?
Or maybe that's just your perfume.
I'm not eating this.
That's the Coca-Cola salad thingy.
That smells good.
I may want to eat that.
What's that?
I know exactly how I'm going to wrap this.
How much time I got?
A minute thirty.
I can do that.
Let me show you how.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Look, see.
I knew that this was the best way to wrap this,
kind of like how you wrap a basketball.
I'm take this, and I'm tight it around.
That's going to end our gift wrapping.
Then I'm going to make it before the clock.
This is the first time I've ever been successful at Kalen
against the clock.
Boom.
Come over here.
Oh, shoot.
Boom.
Done.
[LAUGHING] That's the only one that was successful.
I would give this gift to Ellen because it's perfectly wrapped,
and she deserves perfection.
This one I wouldn't even give to my worst enemy.
This one, I would give this to my producer Janet because,
yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
She deserves it.
Now if you think that your gift wrapping abilities are better
than mine, then I want you to record a video
and send it to me.
Because I want to see it.
Maybe I'll throw it in a montage or something.
Bye!