(Maddie sighing)
- Wow, so yeah, you read in the title correctly.
- Not click bait.
- We broke up and it has been a while since the breakup,
but we've needed some time to process all our feelings
and talk about things together privately
before putting everything out here on the internet.
We've never had to do a public breakup announcement before.
Normally, you just quietly change your Facebook status
and go about living your life in the best way you know how.
(both chuckling)
- In this video, we're going to share why we broke up
and the future of Tangerine Travels.
I would like to ask you a favor,
before you leave any type of comment,
please try to put yourself in our shoes
and realize how difficult it is to share
something so private publicly.
So please don't leave hurtful comments,
especially ones that are taking one of our sides
or criticizing us or our relationship, or-
- Just don't be an asshat.
- Yeah, please don't.
This is a hard enough thing to share as it is
without being over analyzed and judged by people.
But yeah, it even took me a little while
to share this with close friends and family.
So I'm sure you can imagine
how hard this actually is to share this with so many people.
- Yeah, breakups are hard enough on their own,
especially after being together a long time.
We've been together 5 1/2 years, and 3 1/2 years ago,
we moved to Mexico together and started making videos
about our travel and life here in this country.
So in my experience in a relationship,
there's several different milestones
that really test the strength of the relationship.
And one of those is moving in together.
Like when you start to live with someone,
you really learn quickly if they're not right for you,
like if you can't handle it.
Another thing is traveling together.
I don't know if you guys have planned trips
with friends or acquaintances and things like that,
and gone on trips with them,
but I feel like travel often brings out the worst in people.
- Sometimes the best, sometimes the worst,
but you definitely get to see people's true colors
when they're put under the stresses of travel,
and when things don't go your way,
and when there's scams involved in everything.
- Yeah, working together, that can be really tough as well.
And we've done all three of these things.
- Simultaneously. - Yeah.
- For 3 1/2 years.
- They actually aren't the reason why we broke up, though.
It certainly has tested our relationship at times.
And we've gone through a lot of things over that period,
but ultimately what ended up leading to the breakup,
I think was kind of finding a home that we absolutely loved
and could see ourselves living for a long time.
- Yeah, we moved here to Queretaro
and started establishing a life
where we started making friends,
and going to the gym regularly,
getting furniture and all these things to build
a normal person life, as opposed to what we were doing,
which is traveling from place, to place, to place
with everything packed up in the car.
And so that brought some things to the surface for us.
- So after getting settled here in Queretaro,
I started thinking about a family.
And when talking to Maddie about this in the past,
I typically said,
"You know, I'll probably want kids eventually,"
but it was never a 100% certain thing.
- And from my end, I was always saying,
"If I ever have kids, I want to adopt."
I've never had that maternal need to birth kids myself.
But that was also a question mark on my end,
'cause I was saying if I ever have kids I'd want to adopt,
not when I have kids I want to adopt.
So we did know this from very early on in our relationship,
but it was sort of one of those things,
like we're both pretty young.
I think I was 26 when we met.
And so it just seemed like there was time to figure it out,
you know, be a couple, have life experiences and eventually,
we would come to some sort of conclusion about that.
- And from my perspective, in the beginning,
it sounded like you probably didn't want kids,
and I was thinking I probably did.
However, in my last serious relationship,
when I started dating her, she 100% did not want kids,
but by the end of that relationship,
she had done a 180 and wanted kids for sure.
So that was my one major experience.
So I thought that might happen again.
But after settling down here,
started thinking about it more and I came to the conclusion
that yes, I 100% do want a family.
- And that was really the breakup for us,
was I'm still in a position where I'm not sure
if I ever want to have kids,
you are now very sure that you want to have kids.
And that is an irreconcilable difference.
I can't make myself want to have children,
anymore than I could make Jordan not want
to have kids or vice versa.
- Yeah, so it was kind of a choice of us make
a really hard decision now or have one person
resenting the other later on down the road.
- 'Cause having kids is kind of one of those things,
it's like a lifelong commitment.
And that could definitely be the case for me too.
If you didn't have kids and you would always maybe feel
like you were missing out on something,
a hole that was never filled in your life.
If we had kids, then that is it.
You are committed to having kids once you do.
Ultimately, the decision to break up was mutual.
The great thing about this,
or like the silver lining about this is
that our relationship was so good when we were together
that we're not like mortal enemies now.
The relationship itself at its core was really good.
We still love each other and can be around each other.
That's not the case, that was not the case at first.
At first after the breakup,
it was so difficult on so many levels.
For instance, prior to that, for the past 3 1/2 years,
we did everything together.
Every second of our time was spent together
with traveling and working together, everything that we did.
Going to the store, hanging out with friends.
And then all of a sudden we were ripped
into a polar opposite version of that,
where we were doing everything separately.
So for me, I was, like at first,
I was crying every 10 minutes,
like uncontrollably crying because it was
just so devastating to lose this idea of my life,
this version of my life that I had,
and the version of my future
that I thought was going to happen.
- You had told me that you had never pictured
a future without me.
- For the longest time, I mean,
for the majority of our relationship,
it just, that seemed so set in stone.
So it just didn't seem like it would come to this.
And then I went to a period of being really angry with you
and being annoyed at everything that you said and did.
And just being around you generally,
I just didn't wanna see your stupid face at all.
(both laughing)
- There were lots of other feelings like liberation,
I know you had a period like that.
- I mean, yeah, it was-
- It feels good to go out alone, and things like that.
- It was weird and nice.
Like it was tough at first, but it was nice
to be able to try doing things on my own again,
do things that I enjoyed by myself
that we didn't do together.
But this was all part of the process of-
- Figuring things out?
- The figuring things out part.
- So one of the really hard parts about this was
that we were trying to continue to make videos together
after the breakup.
- Immediately after. - Yeah.
- As soon as it happened,
we were still having- - We didn't miss a week.
- Because we've had this goal for a really long time
to post a new video every Saturday.
And we've been very successful with that,
through rain or shine, through sickness and in health,
as long as we both, no, we're not going that much.
(both laughing)
- Oh my God.
But you might've noticed the past couple Saturdays,
we hadn't posted a video.
And it was just really hard to continue doing that
week after week, after the break up.
- And not even just hard, I think unhealthy.
- It was really unhealthy,
that we were trying to force ourselves to be together
when we were still processing all of these things,
and not having any time.
(laughing)
- Yeah, so we took these last couple of weeks off
just to give ourselves some time to think about it.
- And get our heads on straight.
- Yeah, we thought it'd be healthy to do that.
And I went back to the States for a little bit.
- That I think, was a huge turning point.
Just literally having separation from each other,
physical separation where we didn't have to see each other.
We didn't really have to talk, that was great.
And it helped me get a new perspective on the situation,
realize what I appreciated about us being together,
even just the friendship,
the underlying friendship that we had, have!
- We're still really good friends.
- Yeah. - We're at the point,
like our relationship now,
like post break up that we can go do things together.
We can go out to eat together and things like that
without it causing major issues or anything like that.
- Cause I'll tell ya, at first,
we still tried to do those things because like I said,
it was really difficult to go from doing
everything together all the time to nothing.
So we still tried to go out to eat or whatever,
and- - Ended in a fight every time.
- Ended in a fight, or tears,
or just some type of drama.
So, but now we are, we can go to a restaurant,
and we're laughing, and we're joking.
So I think this kind of brings us
to the future of Tangerine Travels, right?
- Yeah, I think so.
So the first question you might be thinking or asking is,
"Are you guys gonna keep living in Mexico?"
Because for me, the other breakup videos
that I've watched of people
who were like vloggers in Mexico,
the first thing they did was move out of the country
and move back to wherever they came from.
- Then like, if it's a couple,
physically separate by as much distance
as they possibly could.
- Yeah, but speaking for myself, I don't wanna leave Mexico.
- Nope, me either, and also,
I don't really want to separate ourselves
in- - Physically too much?
- Physically, yeah, because to get right to it,
what is the future of Tangerine Travels?
We still want to continue making videos.
Historically, we have had to make pivots on our channel.
We have had to adapt to various circumstances
like the pandemic, or different travel restrictions,
or when you guys aren't interested
in a certain type of video
or a certain place that we're living.
- Or like we're starting to get burnt out.
- Yeah. - Things like that.
All kinds of things. - Over 3 1/2 years,
there's a lot of times that have happened like that.
And that's no different now.
This is obviously a very unique situation,
and we didn't expect to ever be here,
but we're going to pivot just the same.
And what might that look like?
Us making videos together is still an option
because we are still good friends.
- Amicable, and think we can get along.
- Amicable sounds just like, so we're so amicable.
(both laughing)
- But what I mean is we could still get,
we still get along well, we can still joke with each other,
- Yeah.
- Like be (indistinct) that you've seen
over the last 300 videos.
- Well, now I think we can - Yeah.
after like a little bit of break
and some time apart before, but yeah.
What else? It could be each of us making videos separately,
going to a place like, I've considered making trips
on my own, and same with Jordan.
It could be bringing other people in, friends or,
collabing with other people.
You had talked about the other people thing.
(both laughing)
- Are you talking about like- - Yes.
- Us dating, like us dating someone else and-
- Yeah, I just wanted to give you the opportunity
to say that because-
(Jordan laughs)
- Yeah. So, we could make videos together.
We could make them individually.
And another option is perhaps,
after one of us starts to get serious with someone else.
Perhaps we go on a trip with that person
and make a video together.
- I don't see that happening on my end.
I would like to keep my dating life personal
or private I should say.
I think it's hard enough dating a new person just in general
without displaying that to a lot of people.
And honestly, our relationship before,
it got so many critiques and we had a solid relationship,
so that didn't shake our relationship.
But I just think it would,
but that's completely your decision, your prerogative.
- And I'm not talking about like bringing the camera out
at the first date or anything.
- That would be weird, that would be very weird.
And really both of us agreed through this breakup.
One of the very, very first things,
well, even before the breakup.
One of the biggest things that we talked about
was the fact that we've built Tangerine Travels
and this cool community around it
over such a long period of time.
And so much blood, sweat, and tears went into it.
We don't want to just throw it all away
just because we're not going to be
in a romantic relationship together.
So we're going to make this work.
We do hope that you will join us,
Please, don't unsubscribe just yet,
because I think there is a lot of good things in the future
for our channel and for the videos that we can make.
And this is just one speed bump along the way,
a shitty, shitty speed bump.
(both laughing)
- But why don't you guys, if you have any ideas,
let us know what kind of videos you would like to see
if anything sounds appealing to you.
Would you wanna get to see us continuing to make videos
together, individually?
Or are you interested to see what a single life
in Mexico looks like?
- So normally at this point in the video,
we would ask you to please subscribe to our channel
and gong that bell!-
(bell ringing)
to be notified of new videos.
But I'm just going to ask you to please don't unsubscribe
because there is a future of Tangerine Travels.
We will continue to release a new video every Saturday.
And we would like you to be part of the future
of this channel, whatever that may be.
- On the screen here,
we're gonna to put one of our favorite videos
that we've made, so you can continue watching
until next Saturday.