If you're wondering how to help a suicidal friend, you're in the right
place today. I've got 4 specific ideas for you and then a link to a really
special video. This is something that none of us really want to deal with. But
unfortunately we get to. And it comes up far too often. If you personally are
feeling suicidal or considering suicide, please call the National Suicide
Prevention lifeline. The number is in the description or on the screen right now.
Call that number if this pertains to you. If you're
concerned about a friend, there's a couple of things that you can do. And
number one is to listen. Listen. Probably the most important thing that you could
ever do. This helps people to feel important. It helps them to voice some of
their concerns or their thoughts in a way that they can take a little more
rational view of it. You know, you got 2 ears, let's use them to listen to our
friends. I have a friend who is a funeral director. An undertaker, basically. And he
said, "Talking about death won't kill you." And talking about suicide won't make it
happen. In fact, the research indicates otherwise.
Some people are hesitant to ask their friends, "I am worried about you. Have you
been considering suicide?" You can ask it that directly. But they're afraid. "Oh, I
do that, that'll put an idea in their head." They've already got the idea in
their head. You're not putting it there. I think what you're doing is giving them
permission to actually talk about it. Because this becomes a taboo and people
don't want to bring it up. If you give your friends permission to talk to you
about anything and you're there as a listening ear, that is a huge huge way
that you can assist someone who might be feeling suicidal. Next, I'm going to give
you some shrink hacks, all right? Some people call me a shrink.
That's an old slang word for a psychologist. And I used to be offended
by it and then I thought, "Yeah. It's a big waste of time to get offended. I'm just
going to embrace that." Here's your shrink hacks. As you're listening, listen with
empathy and compassion but not shock or withdrawal. Okay, you know how sometimes
you'll hear something that's like... *Gasps* And you have this kind of a shocked
response. Now, you want to be very very calm. And you'll have to practice this a
little bit. If you're already worried about them, then nothing that they're
going to share is going to shock you anyway, right? When they say to you, "Yeah, I've
been thinking about taking my own life. or something along those lines. I just
have had enough. I'm ready for it all to be over." And you're listening with
compassion. And you can lean in a little bit, okay? Rather than leaning back which
shows a little bit of a withdrawal. Lean in a little bit as they're saying it, keep
appropriate eye contact. Listen with compassion and give them some indicators
that you're tracking what they're saying. Little nonverbals like a nod. You know, as
you're listening to them. Or even verbal cues. Things like, "I hear you" Or "keep
talking" okay? So, that that encourages them to keep talking. You want to get
them to open up a little bit. And your role is simply to listen. You don't have
to solve the problem. Oh, isn't that a relief? Yeah, you probably can't anyway. So,
you're just going to listen with empathy and compassion. You're going to lean in a
little bit. You're going to give them the indicators that you're there, you're with
them. And be genuine about it. Don't be faking it. Not right now. They need that
compassionate listening ear. Give it to them. At some point,
they're going to kind of wrap up the story that they're telling you about.
Where they are and how they're feeling. You've been compassionate,
you've been empathic. You've been listening to them and encouraging them
to open up. When it starts to wrap up, you want to express appreciation. Thank them
for opening up to you. It was a courageous thing for them to do. You
might even acknowledge that. "Wow! thank you for opening up to me. That was a
really courageous thing that you just shared with me. And I'm here to support
you." It goes a long way to show that appreciation. And that helps them to feel
like they made the right decision in talking to you. Now, we still have the
issue that your friend is feeling suicidal. And we want to do everything
that we can to assist them and to help them. At the beginning of the video, I
shared a lifeline. It's called the National Suicide Prevention lifeline.
That number which is included in the description down below is one that you
can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are crisis workers available to compassionately talk you through what's
going on. If you're trying to help your friend, offer to call the National
Suicide Prevention lifeline with them. While they're with you, you can say, "You
know, I know of this resource. We can call it together and see what's available to
help you and support you at this difficult time." I didn't even mention
this during the main video. But I've discovered a video that I found to be
helpful and inspiring that was put out by my church. You can link to it right
here in the in screen. It's called suicide prevention choose to stay. I
think you might find this helpful and you might want to share it with your
friend as well.