Whatever you do, don't microwave anything at home.
Jory: What about Hot Pockets?
Jon: I suppose that'd be okay.
Riley: What about popcorn?
Jory and Jon: Shut up, Riley!
Jory: (in surfer voice throughout intro) Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: (also in surfer voice throughout intro) And I'm your Super McVarial 900 sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
You know, dude, after a long day of surfing, I just need a cool, refreshing beverage.
Oh, yeah? Well, I've got this great refreshing beverage that's blue, too! It's called "The Mondo"!
Jory: WHOA! What IS it?
Riley: A Mondo? Dude, all you do is twist, drink, and piss, dude!
Awesome! I can do all three of those steps!
Jory and Riley: Gnarly!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: (muffled) Be careful!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory and Riley: 2.8!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory 2.8, safety is, uh... Hey! Take a look at Margaret, Margaret II! She's beautiful, she's the senior. Or the junior? No, she's the junior!
Riley: Junior, junior.
Jory: That makes more sense. Today, we're doing Mondos. Let's put two with the cap on, one with the cap off and on its side.
Jon: Alright, how long should we put it in there for, chief?
Jory: Uh, "beverage"?
Riley: Stop!
Jory: Stop it!
Jory: Okay, I'll do 3 beverages. Or, no- it needs longer than that. Let's do 9 minutes.
*slurping of drink*
Jory: I love how bright Margaret Junior is!
Jon: Margaret II! Not to be confused with Jack T. Hammond the...
Riley: Third!
Jon: Exactly!
Riley: What do you think's gonna happen?
Jon: I'm really hoping for, like, a colossal bursting at the seams, like that fat guy who's just squeezing into some tight jeans at work, and then, one day, he eats one too many pizza rolls and... KAZAAM-O!
Riley: I imagine this is gonna be like the bottle of gin. It just takes forever, and then, all of a sudden, it's like... (makes exploding noise) Right in the kisser!
Jory: They're definitely gaining in pressure, because they're...
Riley: They're starting to, like... (makes grunting noises)
Jon: Are they? I don't see a change in them.
Riley: Oh, oh! It fell over, it fell over.
Jory: And the other one's gonna fall over soon, too.
Riley: It fell over, still nothing.
Jory: Now why is...
Riley: Whoa! It fell over!
Jon: Yes!
Jory: I sure hope when these blow they don't just shoot sticky...
Riley: Blue goo everywhere!
Jory: ...Blue goo everywhere.
Jon: I mean, I would hate to have a repeat of my prom night!
Jory: Yeah! This would be, like, a Navi surprise!
Jon: Hey-oh!
Jory: It's boiling!
Riley: They're bubbling now, yeah, they're bubbling.
Jon: Okay, alright.
Jory: The one in the middle is definitely bubbling.
Riley: Yeah, something's gonna happen.
Jory: I hope it goes off in a minute and 40 seconds. If not, I do not want to be near that!
Riley: Neither do I.
Jory and Riley: (singing) To-Mondo, to-Mondo, explode to-Mondo. You're only a blast away!
Riley: We only have a minute-ten left. I really hope that it's just, like... (makes farting noises)
Jory: Go!
Jon: You guys, quit rushing...
Riley: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jory: What?
Riley: Some... It splattered on the wall!
Jory: What did?
Riley: The Mondo!
Jon: The Mondo?
Riley: There's Mondo on the wall!
Jory: How's there Mondo on the wall?
Riley: Look at it! It just started sweating!
Jory: Neither of them look like they've breached.
Riley: I know, but something did.
Jon: Alright, let's kill it, guys.
Jon: Open her up, open her up!
Riley: Still bubbling, still bubbling.
Jon: Wait- shhh!
*sound of boiling Mondo drinks*
Jory: Oh, it did breach the pressure.
*sound of Mondo spilling out*
Jory: So, anyone want really, ridiculously hot Mondo? I vote that Riley drinks it!
Jory: Hey, ShamWow!
Jon: You'll be sayin' "wow" every time!
Jory: You may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave your Mondo? That doesn't even sound like it's something you WOULD want to do. It kinda sounds dirty, really- microwaving your Mondo!
I'm gonna say, no, it's not a good idea to microwave your Mondo. It's a delicious, definitely not nutritious beverage. I'm gonna say you definitely wanna drink that instead of microwaving it.
Riley: Yeah, don't waste your Mondo!
That's about it for this episode of...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
Jory: (in silly voice) I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: See you to-Mondo!
*end credits play*
Jory: (in surfer voice) Dude, I just hanged 10!
Jon: 5, 4, 3, 2...
*silence as Jory and Riley wait for Jon to say "1"*
Jory: Where's the "1"?!
Riley: That's what I thumb!
*Click on episode #159 to see why microwaving fruit punch goodness in a bastard microwave is an awesome f*cking idea!*