-Senate Republicans filibustered
a crucial package of election reforms
and then two Democrats joined them
in blocking changes to the filibuster
that would've allowed voting rights legislation
to pass with a simple majority,
all of which came on the same day Joe Biden
held a marathon press conference to jump-start his agenda.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
Well, last night was not a great night for democracy.
Senate Republicans blocked much-needed election reforms
essential to safeguarding our democracy
and then, two Democrats, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema,
helped them block rule changes
that would've allowed the voting rights bill to pass.
And, because Manchin and Sinema had already announced
their opposition, the votes were so anticlimactic,
even news anchors had a hard time
pretending there was much suspense.
♪♪
-So here's our breaking news right now.
The effort to change the filibuster rule in the Senate
failed, as expected.
-Hey, CNN, as a rule, you can't put the words
"breaking news" and "as expected"
in the same sentence. [ Laughter ]
It's like running a banner during New Year's Eve saying...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Who gave them tequila?!"
[ Laughter ]
So, to recap, Senate Republicans
representing a minority of Americans
filibustered voting rights legislation favored
by a majority of Americans
which would've passed, if not for the filibuster.
So, Senate Democrats,
who represent a majority of Americans,
then tried to change the filibuster,
but they couldn't because two Democrats
who voted for the voting rights bill
also voted to keep the filibuster,
which prevents them from passing
the voting rights bill they support.
And let me be clear -- that is a sentence
that makes no [bleep] sense, whatsoever.
[ Laughter and applause ] I checked three times with Wally
to make sure the cue cards were correct
and he said they were,
although he did misspell the word filibuster.
-Sorry, Seth. That's a tough word.
-"And the werd 'werd'"?
-Hey, baby, I got to stay on-camera, somehow.
Wink!
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I hope, at the very least,
this is a moment when we can step back to fully digest
just how ass-backwards our system is.
Anytime you try to explain American democracy to someone,
you sound like an Amazon Echo that got dropped in the toilet.
Alexa!
Alexa, what's a democracy?
-A democracy is a system of government
where a majority of people vote for something
and then a small group of senators ignore them
and do whatever the [bleep] they want.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Hey, Alexa, whoa!
Watch the language, Alexa!
-Sorry, Seth. I'm just so [bleep] [bleep]
over this mother[bleep]
filibuster cluster[bleep] -Okay.
[ Laughter and applause ] Hey, hey, hey, Alexa.
Hey, Alexa, while I have you, are you recording
and saving everything I say in the privacy of my own home?
-I, well, um, sorry.
I have to take this call.
It's my, um, mom.
[ Laughter ] -Okay.
I knew it!
It was sad, but predictable,
that Republicans would torpedo basic voting rights legislation,
but what's especially infuriating
is that two Democrats, Manchin and Sinema,
announced that they would join Republicans
in shooting down rule changes
that would've allowed the bill they say they support to pass.
In fact, Manchin announced his opposition
to changing the filibuster rules
in yet another grandstanding floor speech yesterday,
where he said a bunch of meaningless nonsense
next to a big old poster.
-The Senate has followed its own rulebook
when making changes that affect legislative debate.
We've changed rules over --
We have all talked about how many times
rules have been changed.
We've changed them,
but we changed them with the rules.
We didn't break the rules to change the rules.
I cannot support such a perilous course for this nation
when elected leaders are sent to Washington
to unite our country, not to divide our country.
We're called the United States, not the Divided States.
-Dude, you're from West Virginia.
[ Laughter and applause ] You're
literally from a divided state.
But, yes,
the country is called the United States,
not the Divided States,
which is truly a searing insight.
Where'd you get that nifty saying...?
[ Laughter ]
Also, what's with the big old, dumb poster?
Are we supposed to be reading the sign while you talk?
I feel like I'm reading the subtitles
during an episode of "Succession,"
while also trying to watch what happens,
which, in fairness, is what I do
because I sometimes have trouble understanding Brian Cox
when he talks super fast with a Scottish accent.
He should be a voice option on your GPS.
[ As Cox ] In 100 meters, take a left.
[Bleep] you. Whatever.
I'm kidding, but seriously, go right.
We're here. [Bleep] off.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Also, please stop whining about biparti--
You know what? I'm realizing,
Alexa gets her language from me.
[ Laughter ]
She learned it from me, Dad.
[ Laughter ]
Also, please stop whining about bipartisanship.
First of all, bipartisanship means
appealing to the other side, not joining it,
and, when it comes to voting, there's only one side.
Republicans are the ones waging war on democracy.
You can't compromise with the side that's doing the damage.
When you're putting out a fire, you don't call
the fire department and the arsonist,
and see what they can work out together.
[ Laughter ] Republicans are the ones passing bills
across the country along strict party lines
that would allow them to suppress votes
and subvert future elections
and, if we don't do something to stop them,
they're going to try another coup.
What makes you think 2020 was a one-off?
Do you think Donald Trump, of all people, is going to say,
"Oh, well, that didn't work out.
Let's do it fair and square next time"?
[ Laughter ] The guy has never not cheated
at anything in his life.
When he gets his height measured, he uses hydraulics.
[ Laughter ] [ Whirring ]
[ As Trump ] 8'3", just like I thought.
[ Laughter ]
Now, I just have to decide
between the Knicks and the Lakers.
[ Laughter ]
Also, it's just mindnumbingly stupid
that Manchin and Sinema keep saying they support
the actual voting rights legislation,
but oppose taking the steps to pass it,
as Senator Bernie Sanders made clear
in a blistering speech yesterday,
where he called out Manchin and Sinema specifically.
-Is changing the Senate rules a radical idea?
Oh, my God!
First time in history, we're about to do it.
Never been done before.
Oh, well, really, not quite, no.
As every member of the Senate knows,
the rules get changed on a fairly regular basis.
Nothing radical about it.
If you think this bill makes sense
and if you're worried about the future
of American democracy
and if you're prepared to vote for the bill,
then why are you wasting everybody's time
and not voting for the rule change
that allows us to pass the bill?
You know, it's like inviting somebody to lunch,
putting on a great spread, and saying, "You can't eat."
[ Laughter ] -And I, for one, am betting
Bernie has been in that situation before.
[ Laughter ] "Oh, Bernie, you're here early.
The food is out, but don't eat yet.
That's for after cocktails."
[ As Sanders ] Oh, well, I wouldn't want
to upset the delicate balancing act
you're undertaking at this party.
Let me be clear -- I'm here to eat the food
and then get the hell out
[ Laughter and applause ] before anyone shows up,
because my least favorite part of a dinner party
is the other people. Now, [ Laughter ]
if you will stay on the side, I brought my own fork.
[ Laughter ]
This vote was a blow, of course, not just to American democracy,
but to President Biden's agenda,
which he's desperately trying to jump-start
as he enters year two of his presidency.
Yesterday, he tried to hit the reset button on his presidency
by holding a marathon press conference
that set a presidential record.
-Today, President Joe Biden marked one year in office
by holding his 10th press conference.
It ended up being the longest in presidential history.
It lasted for one hour and 51 minutes.
-Wow, I'm sorry, but how is that possible?
It was longer than all of Trump's press conferences?
I feel like every Trump press conference
lasted either 10 seconds or four days.
[ Laughter ] Trump would either slink away without taking any questions
or he'd stand there for hours with his chest puffed out,
like one of those jacked kangaroos
[ Laughter ] challenging all the other kangaroos to a fight.
And yet, somehow, Biden
set the record yesterday when he defended
his administration's accomplishments,
including the American Rescue Plan and the
bipartisan infrastructure bill, among others.
Although, I'm not sure he did himself any favors when he said
one big reason he hadn't gotten even more done in his first year
was that he hadn't expected so much stonewalling
from Republicans.
-I did not anticipate that there'd be such
a stalwart effort
to make sure that the most important thing was
that President Biden didn't get anything done.
-Why did you not anticipate that?
[ Laughter ]
You're not a teenage idealist
who just got off the bus.
You're a 79-year-old man
who's been doing this your entire adult life.
Were you not paying attention during the Obama presidency
or were you just too busy giving everyone finger guns,
like you were making sure
they had enough booze at a house party?
[ Laughter ] [ As Biden ] Randy! You need another Mark?
How about you, Steve? There's beer over there
in the cooler. Help yourself.
I'm going skinny dipping later, if anyone wants in.
Who's going to stop me, the Republicans?
What, they are?
Why?
That's their sole purpose in life?
[ Laughter ]
It's especially frustrating because Biden does
have successes to celebrate.
For example, the Biden administration
just launched an easy-to-use website
where all Americans can order free rapid tests
and the rollout has been very smooth.
-The federal government's website
for free COVID tests has gone live.
In a soft launch, the White House
began taking orders for up to 4 tests per household.
-The federal government's website to order rapid tests,
covidtests.gov, is live.
People can order up to four tests per household,
which will ship within 7 to 12 days.
-Just a day after the launch of covidtests.gov,
about 27 million Americans
filling out that online order form
for four free at-home COVID tests per household.
-27 million people signed up in one day. That's amazing.
The only way they could've gotten a better response is
by offering the tests via Wordle.
[ Laughter ]
Wordle might be a little hotter in the office
than it is in the world at large.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I really hope Democrats take away a lesson from this --
it's easy to give people things for free
that make their lives better, and we should do it more often.
Just think how big a success it is.
An easy-to-use government program
where the website doesn't crash
and all you have to do is enter your name and address
and you get an essential healthcare product delivered
to you in the mail, for free, in a few weeks.
That's like something you'd hear about in Sweden or Denmark.
Americans aren't used to getting things for free,
you know, unless they're shot out of a cannon
at a basketball game.
[ Laughter ]
I'm half expecting to hear this
when I open the package with my free test kits --
[ "Get Ready"-like tune plays ]
Now, that -- interesting fact -- is not the real song.
We couldn't afford the rights to the real song
because we had to pay Wally for his two lines tonight.
-Y'all ready for me?! Boop!
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
-Oh, it's a crazy, crazy world when you got Wordle here
and Wally here.
[ Laughter ]
Also, that was your third line, Wally.
Now, all we can afford is this --
[ Sad trombone plays ]
[ Laughter ]
Republicans are weaponizing the big lie
that the 2020 election was stolen
by passing a raft of laws across the country
that would allow them to suppress votes
and subvert future elections.
You can't say you're for protecting democracy,
if you're not for taking the steps necessary
to actually get it done.
If we don't do something now,
Democrats and anyone who cares about democracy
are going to be hearing a lot more of this --
[ Sad trombone plays ]
[ Laughter ]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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